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Member
Member Since Jun 2007
Location: Florida
Posts: 134
17 |
Sep 19, 2007 at 01:28 PM
#1
went to see my pdoc today because my anxiety and depression has gotten worse in the las few week. I was feeling like crap and having a hard time getting myself motivated to do anything except sit around and feel bad about myself. In our discussion today about how I feel he told me I need to "kick my self in the butt" and get out and do things even if I don't feel like it. I was shocked at his words and did not know whether or not to be mad or glad at his assertiveness. Maybe I am giving in to my deperssion and anxiety, I don't know but it sure seemed like he felt that way. He did up my meds and put me on ativan for anxiety but he told me that mediation can only do so much and that I have to push through it some on my own. I know there is truth in this but sometimes I just can't seem to get the energy or the motivation. Its like I know in my head what the truth is but my body and emotions don't follow.
What do some of you think of this statement made by him. Have you ever had your pdoc tell you something like this before? Feed back is greatly welcomed. |
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Sep 19, 2007 at 01:31 PM
#2
i understand. Maybe you can just pretend he said it in a more compassionate way.. such as.. When you feel like you arent wanting to go out, try your best to override those thoughts and push yourself a little.
It wasnt the most compassionate thing for your pdoc to say.. if you really feel hurt, you can communicate that to him too. |
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Sep 19, 2007 at 01:35 PM
#3
I've had a T (my previous one) say that to me....
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Legendary Wise Elder
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Sep 19, 2007 at 01:35 PM
#4
I wouldn't use a pdoc for counseling for just that reason.
 They aren't known for their "bedside manner" imo. I'm sure he meant well, though.Keep pushing yourself. Try harder. Do your best ((((mouse)))) __________________ |
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Member
Member Since Jun 2007
Location: Florida
Posts: 134
17 |
Sep 19, 2007 at 01:37 PM
#5
I'm trying to see is as a positive statement but sometimes the truth hurts. Maybe I am giving in to my depression and just letting it take over my life. Sometimes I want to get lost forever in it and never come out into life again. That is when I get suicidal and just want my life to go away!
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Pandita-in-training
Member Since Sep 2006
Location: Maryland
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Sep 19, 2007 at 01:44 PM
#6
When I look at it objectively, I find I almost always do/feel better if I pick something to do, anything at all, and do it. Sometimes just doing things that "have" to be done anyway help (like dishes or laundry or changing my bed), doesn't seem to matter if I pick something really easy (go upstairs and get paper for my printer downstairs and print out a webpage I wanted last week) or something that seems impossible sometimes (change the bed :-) just the doing gets me thinking in some other rut :-) than the one I'm in and gets my wheels turning. I was once told to think of a car and how hard it is to steer the slower it is going. Tells my age as it would have to be without automatic steering (I had a 1964 Corvair http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chevrolet_Corvair and it took my girlfriend and me both to turn the wheel when I was trying to parallel park) which I think all cars have now. But think of a car that is "off" and pushing it and how hard that is versus one that is moving.
__________________ "Never give a sword to a man who can't dance." ~Confucius |
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Legendary
Member Since Jan 2007
Location: U.S.
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Sep 19, 2007 at 03:37 PM
#7
I agree your pdoc is not the most sensitive guy in the world, but I applaud his recognition that "meds cannot do it all." I think sometimes people take a new med and then sit around waiting for it to work magic. It takes more than meds sometimes. I hope you can do whatever it takes to feel better, LittleMouse. I found, even when depressed, that getting out and going for a walk in the fresh air helped me. Find the things that help you. (((hugs)))
__________________ "Therapists are experts at developing therapeutic relationships." |
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Member
Member Since Jun 2007
Location: Florida
Posts: 134
17 |
Sep 19, 2007 at 04:45 PM
#8
I've been thinking about this all day and I've come to feel like a therapy failure! I was making such good progress there for a while and it seems now I am stuck in this black hole and I can't seem to get out. My pdoc really made me think about this after his comment about giving myself a kick in the butt. I know he meant well and it is probably the truth but sometimes I don't feel like I will ever be myself again. Maybe I should just stop going to therapy and if I live I live and if I die I die! Sometimes I think I really want to give up and just give into the depression and let it take me so far down that there is no return. At least the end would be some kind of accomplishment???? I just have days when I think I just can't keep doing this anymore I just don't have the energy to keep on fighting. Its kinda like drowning...there is a short period of struggle and then you realize your going to drown so you just let go and sink to the bottom and its over.
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Member
Member Since Sep 2007
Posts: 140
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Sep 19, 2007 at 05:11 PM
#9
What he said is exactly right and part of what they try to get you to do in CBT.
As you know depression causes you to lose interest and find previously enjoyable activities not good. One of the best way to help is to force yourself to do one of these, even if you don't enjoy it, even if you don't feel like it. It is apparently very beneficial because you get up, get your brain/body moving which is good for depression. You don't go out and do heaps of things. Start with one thing you used to enjoy doing - walking, gardening etc and just decide that today I am going to do this for 20minutes even if I don't feel like it and feel like crap - that is a doable target, and then build it up and try other things, but just short periods. Because in the end, our docs, Ts can't make us better, we have to do it ourselves, the meds are an aid but can't do it all and anything that is worth doing hurts and is hard |
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Legendary
Member Since Aug 2007
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Sep 19, 2007 at 08:21 PM
#10
Sounds like Nike... "just do it".
First, it has to be your goal to get out and do things, not his.  So spend some time thinking about whether you do want to do things or are happy not doing things. Many people live quiet lives because they want to and like to. If you decide you do want to get out more and do things, think about what things you might like to do. A trip to the library? A walk in the park? A movie? A community event? Then when you have decided what you might like to do, giving yourself plenty of time, think about when you might like to accomplish this. If your deadline comes and you can't do it, just accept that without any self-judgement or self-criticism and set a new date. Once you've reached your goal, Celebrate! A Starbucks coffee, a movie rental, a new book, .... Keep practicing, keep doing what you can, keep accepting without judgement if plans need to be changed, keep Celebrating! I hope you can also find a therapist to talk to about how hard it is to find motivation and energy and how you feel. hugs |
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Legendary Wise Elder
Member Since Dec 2003
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Sep 19, 2007 at 09:32 PM
#11
Therapy is hard work.
But there can be times when it goes too fast and asks too much of you at the time. Try easing back a little bit, but keep going on schedule! Ease back IN therapy with how deeply you discuss something is what I mean. If all you can do right now is TRY, then try. Keep trying and sooner or later you will also DO. Don't quit. You are who you are, you are yourself, regardless of not feeling maybe like you have in the past. As we age, too, things change and we change, but we learn the changes are still our life, still "life." TC __________________ |
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Sep 19, 2007 at 09:34 PM
#12
(((((LittleMouse))))),
I totally understand! I think that motivation or the lack thereof, is not very well understood. It sounds like low motivation is a symptom that is very severe for you. It's no wonder that you are frustrated by what your pdoc said. It's not like you want to be that way, right? I also have depression and anxiety and deal with motivational issues frequently. I actually take meds. for my lack of motivation/excessive daytime sleepiness. I can't begin to tell you how much it has helped me. After I started taking the drug (Provigil), my motivation came back, I started being productive again, my self esteem rose, and my depression lifted. Hang in there! PM me if you'd like. Please take care of yourself! |
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Member
Member Since Aug 2004
Location: Michigan
Posts: 73
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Sep 19, 2007 at 10:44 PM
#13
I had one say the same thing to me once.....I was motivated to walk right out while he was talking and set up an appointment to see someone else. Days later I realized that he was right and that ticked me off even more. lol I went back to him instead of seeing the new one.
I made a list of things i could do. There were several times I did not want to do anything at all....but I forced myself to do the list....I started at the top.....the first one was his idea: #1) All I have to do is breathe......everything else is optional.... for a while thats all I worked on...lol....then I went on down the list..... Tobey |
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Wisest Elder Ever
Member Since Nov 2002
Location: Cave.
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Sep 19, 2007 at 11:42 PM
#14
A pdoc said to me that he didn't have a "magic wand". I guess it's a similar sort of statement. (I heard that pdoc said exactly the same thing to 2 other patients so it wasnt just me...) Hopefully the pdoc was using "tough love" or something similar!
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