Couch 141: The Inversional Hexachordal Combinatorial Couch

Hi Isola! Anything goes

welcome to the couch, isola!

Thanks! This is reason number 5487 that I love the couch. I drove past all the cake and ice cream vendors and came straight home. We're having fish for dinner. Yay . . .

I have said yes to taking my girls to a 4 day music festival and I am so not in the mood. Last time I went in a less than stellar mood I picked a fight and threw a hot dog at the vendor and stomp all over the woo-woo vendors with science and seriously messed with the heads of stoned people, this last one I am sure just pure jealousy as I was trying to give up drugs back then.

allergy season is whacking everybody around here too. Between the mold and oak and pine pollen I can't breathe and I keep choking.

On the plus side my t will be there

Bed time?

I'm already tired of my roommates. Don't they need to go to church or something?

Lol sorry.. Rude joke

And an ex pdoc. Last time I saw her she was staggering around with glass in one hand and a bottle of red in the other

I had the crappiest flight of my life today. Like, cried almost throughout. Unreal and embarrassing. I had a bit of a falling out with my T yesterday, but also started Lamictal on Fri, and I don't think it agrees with me. It's like all joy has been sucked out of me.

I've been all neurotic about posting too many details about myself, but whatever. That was the privilege of doing much better talking.

Hi Isola! Welcome to the couch!

"Heaven knows, anything goes!"

A lot of bursting into song and dance, hugs and tears.

Working on the song and dance!

Hello, couch. Just wanted to pop in and say I was thinking about you all tonight. I hope everyone is well. Hugs for those who want or need them.

I'm okay...cooled down from the other day. Still not sure that PC is the best place for me. So I'm being cautious. Only 2 days of school left. I can't believe I survived my first year of teaching!

holy mother of all therapy hangovers, batman, and I just barely got home from my session. what a tough session it was, too. i was looking forward to seeing her after 2 weeks, but we got into some deep stuff and i was forced to take a really difficult and honest look at myself and t nailed it on the head when she said "you really had an 'oh ****' moment, didn't you." indeed, t. indeed. and then after all that she tells me we have to switch to thursday now for some reason. i didn't ask why. i just said yeah ok of course. eta: i'm mad at her now for doing her job. how stupid is that.

I have a raging headache now. Pass the wine whoever has the box....

Congrats on almost being out for the summer.

Hugs art (phone isn't letting me tag you)

I fell asleep and dreamt my apartment had a fire again

Except this time I was actually there for it and had to watch the whole thing burn from the beginning instead of it being a thing I came home to.

Thanks but no thanks

I just spent some time verbally self-abusing. When I calmed down I emailed CW to ask if she could see me again this week. I doubt she'll be helpful, but white-knuckling through Cymbalta withdrawal is going to end up with me hitting myself over the head with an encyclopedia or something worse.

Eta: and while I was at it I sent my lawyer an email asking how much longer will this divorce take? Seriously, I have not heard from him since 2/28. Skyscrapers get built in that amount of time.

Life being stranger than fiction, or dreams for that matter: less than two months after my old building burnt down, my new building had... a fire. All of us standing outside, I noticed one of the tenants there had been in the FIRST fire with me too.

Needless to say we weren't exactly ok.

But the fire was confined to the basement and we all went right back in thankfully.

Legal matters can take an inordinate amount of time. Do you know what the next step was? If you are waiting on a judge or court date - it can (in my jurisdiction) take a long time - 3 mos is not - to us in my area and jurisdiction - a long time. I think your lawyer should have given you a time frame.

thanks butterfly. i wanted a hug from t but i couldn't let it happen because i didn't want comfort from her after what i'd seen about myself and spoken out loud. weird how that is. it was like i needed to punish myself for it by not allowing myself a hug from her. stupid i am.

Where we were on 2/28 was service by publication. As far as I know we are nowhere near a court or judge yet. At our initial meeting the lawyer thought six months IF future ex cooperated (which FE did not), a year if he did not. (No joint assets, no kids, no support requests.) But service by publication should only take a month or so once the publication has been selected, i.e., by my reckoning we should have already moved on to the next step.

((Anais))

Do you know how the fire got started? Or do you have to wait for the next dream?

so i just had an epiphany whilst posting on the dear t thread. why my attachment to t is such an important part of my therapy. because the realization i had about myself today, that i said out loud to her, if i weren't so attached, would make me quit to not have to ever face her again. but i'm too attached. i can't quit. i will work with today's realization and tell her all about the results of said work when i go back in 2 weeks. or sooner if i call and beg. this attachment that i struggle so much with, is the reason why my therapy has been working and allowing me to make so many positive changes in my life.