Couch 142 - Pope Hyginus' Final Resting Place (~Something in Latin~)

Mine doesn't have a couch but if he did, I would be ok with it but then again, I also bring my dog and he would be there too.

What is weird is I hate getting close to anyone but I like being closer to people when having serious conversations

I'm with DNA. There's no way in hell I'd share the couch with T. It's not like we sit far apart. If I stretched out my arms I'd be able to touch T, but there's something about the couch being MINE. I don't want my space invaded.

I would spontaneously implode if my T sat with me on the sofa.

I'm not sure if I mean in a good way or a bad way.

Also I'm not sure what spontaneous implosion would actually entail.

I am watching the Paper Chase.
I remember when all K prof's acted like Kingsfield

I can't spend time with my best friend anymore

All the sudden a few months ago a switch flipped and all she's capable of speaking about is how how badly she wants to have a baby, NOW, oh my god aren't babies cute, blah blah my sister's baby, here's another picture of my cousin's baby, look at this little outfit I bought for my friend's baby, have you seen Minghui's baby, when's it going to be my turn, I'm so nervous for my gyn appt, I have no kids yet but here watch this boring video of my five year old student playing the Bumblef*** Concerto in b minor, and another, and another, omg anais why aren't you dating anyone?? Come onnnn there must be someone! It's been years alreadyyy! Don't you want a baby?? You love kids!

I swear she was a perfectly wonderful person before this. I'm so bummed. She's my only real friend.

SD - Edward Herrmann.

Surely you have some escapades from law school with which you could regale us?

Anais - that sounds like a huge pain. (Imagine what she'll be like when she has her own kid.) If it's any comfort, she's probably opening up to you because of your friendship?

AY -

I sense an Etsy store opportunity.

I bought a multi-pack of voodoo dolls off Amazon a couple months ago. One has been assigned to one of my therapists.

Ditto. And i think it might be messy.

I did actually look into the whole Create-your-own-doll market (why do things half way? Plus, I find dolls super creepy -- very Stephen King etc) -- there's a massive money-making opportunity there.

Apparently, though people get these dolls made for special occasions and so on? And, like most if not all things, they are getting made in China and so, orders have to be placed in advance.

I think we can capitalize on the market with something like -- "Love or hate or love-hate / hate-love your therapist? Can't stand to wait for a little customized therapist doll to be shipped from overseas? Contact us NOW! 7 days a week*! We are here for you. Always. Guaranteed same-day delivery**!"

7 days a week -- I presume business will take off sufficiently that we can hire underlings?

Same-day delivery -- I am hazy on the details of 3-D printers but I presume that + some sort of Amazon-like predictive algorithm will be our friend there?

We could have a comments box where they put in body type, hair color, business attire/ always wears a dress/ shows up in dad sandals/ doesn't cut toenails, etc

To be really top-notch, these voodoo dolls have to be the image of the therapist. So, we're either going to have to:

1) come up with a physical typology of therapists, so little alteration needs to be done. Like, male hippie (beard and no beard), absurdly tiny blonde/brunette/ginger female with glasses. And so on.
2) or, and this is the more...interesting...option, make like the sites that clone your pet as a stuffed animal (I did have one make a version of senior cat - which fooled two other cats into thinking it was a cat) and to ensure accuracy require like ten photos of the subject from every possible angle? ("But why, client, do you want a picture of my rear end?")

I also think clothes should be sold separately, to maximize profits.

And I think una should be in charge of same-day delivery. They don't call them zipcars for nothing! She might take pay in the form of moon pies, too.

Anais -- yes! And, the more customization, the more $$$$.

ATAT -- That you did that for senior cat

As for clients wanting pictures of T's rear ends, surely you are insulting our customer base (no puns intended, really)? I assume all such details are burned into their memory (both the love and hate ones -- I can tell you that current T's rear is non-existent, really). We might actually have a problem of excess detail to deal with.

Wouldn't it be more direct to just go in and try to hurt them in person? Not physically - but with words? I know they really can't get hurt by clients - but I enjoy the attempt. Plus sometimes one can draw minor blood.

Plus I really could not describe the woman in much detail -she is short, in her 70s and looks a bit like dr. ruth.

I'll take one Male Hippie in caffe latte, no beard, and one Stylish Old Jewish Lady in vanilla, please

I can do the embroidering... except I'm feeling squeamish about running an assembly line of naked therapists. And I'm afraid of developing tendonitis. Does this business offer healthcare to its employees?

Wouldn't they all look like barbie or ken without their clothes.

The actual therapists?

Or the dolls?

I can tell you for near-certain (based on a series of edumcated guesses) that my real therapists would not look like Barbie or Ken without their clothes

Moon pies...

Well, we each have our guesses. I see them all as neutered/spayed. It might be nice to have one ear tipped to let innocent bystanders know at a glance that they were dealing with a therapist.

I don't like moon pies. They are worse than donuts.

I believe senior cat's stuffed animal clone was about $300. Small dogs were the same and large cost more.

This and the previous comment have given me a brilliant idea.

What if there were a life-size anatomically correct option?

(Wishfully anatomically correct, if the customer is so inclined.)

We're talking mega-bucks. Although we might want to move production to Japan.

I did make a friend an anatomically-correct ex-bf voodoo doll in high school. I heard it was greatly enjoyed and appreciated, hopefully in the manner in which it was intended, but who really knows.

Hence my assembly-line concerns.

I understand. ))) SD (((

This somehow reminds me of a 30 Rock episode in which James Franco gets up close and personal with his life size pillow.

Judging from my time spent on PC, there would indeed be a market for this... but wouldn't that make us part of the problem.... plus these dolls would presumably have a different purpose from our voodoo dolls. I think they should be a separate line.

Yes, a separate line...for our favored customers. With the megabucks.

Count me in as one who would be able to customize my doll without the pictures. Assuming for clothes you would offer God awful hideous button down shirts. Today was Hawaiian-esque, but too dark to be an actual Hawaiian shirt.

Can they be designed with ill-fitting clothes? Would need that for MC. And a Nordstrom line for T.