[iheartjacques]

My T doesn't seem the type to accept gifts or cards. I thought about writing a letter to thank him for the last three years and how he helped me. I don't know if a T would accept that?
Last session is in 48 hours. And the tears have started again. Ugh.

[LesFleursDuMal]

It seems like a very good idea to me, this way you can tell him everything you want him to know before you say goodbye. I don't see why a T wouldn't accept that. If I remember correctly, some therapists don't accept gift because they can't accept you spending money for them. A letter doesn't cost anything. I often write letters to my T and it has never been a problem. Good luck for your last session

[DodgersMom]

Originally Posted by iheartjacques

My T doesn't seem the type to accept gifts or cards. I thought about writing a letter to thank him for the last three years and how he helped me. I don't know if a T would accept that?
Last session is in 48 hours. And the tears have started again. Ugh.

OMG I feel so sad for you, I can't and don't wanna imagine this part of the journey for me...

I would for sure do a letter, but he probably would never reply.... just a heads up.
Although maybe, I don't know.

Is there any way you can keep in touch after? Or maybe not officially end? Like go to bi monthly??

I hope for the best for you, this session is gonna be tough

[stopdog]

I would write the letter. While I cannot imagine me writing to thank a therapist, I have written the woman for other reasons. I find letter writing quite a good thing. It is not done because you are looking for the other to write back. It is done in order to comvey something to the recipient.

[iheartjacques]

He is leaving private practice and I don't expect him to reply and I don't think he would ethically stay in touch.
I drafted a note. Just so I can say goodbye and what the good things were without dissolving into tears.

[iheartjacques]

Dear Xxxx
Thank you for being my psychiatrist for the last three years. Just saying "thank you" doesn't seem enough, and you don't seem the type to accept gifts or cards.
I don't know if I can articulate what I want to say without dissolving into tears, hence this note.
When I first came here, I was a pretty big mess. These days, not so much of a mess. Thanks to you, I've been able to unpack some stuff that's been affecting me for a long time.
When I said "I just want to get better" and you said, "we'll get you better", that's the day I gave you a chance.
Thank you for changing my medication and being knowledgable about the side effects.
Thank you for annoying me, challenging me, pushing my buttons and your constant prodding. I've had to face stuff I didn't want to face, and admit fears I didn't want to acknowledge. I'm so glad I never lost my temper, and stayed in my chair. There have been times when I've walked out thinking "what would he know? Who does he think he is?". Other times I've walked out feeling utterly broken. I've learned it doesn't matter if you haven't experienced what I have, your job was to help me figure myself out and help me work out effective strategies.
Once you told me to find the angry, frightened little girl in me. I don't remember what I was supposed to do when I found her, but I don't have to look far. She's in the face of every child I work with. So you're right, my work with kids is quite healing. It's hard going some weeks, but the end rewards are great when I see them grow up into confident young adults ready to take on the world.
I am really going to miss you. I realise the who you are in the office may not be the xxx anyone else knows, but I appreciate the person who kept my secrets and let me create a safe place to dump my crap and sort through it. I can't say you were always kind and non-judgemental, but I can say you were consistent, willing to ask questions and look for solutions. You were like a rock, pretty much the same, while everything inside and around me was changing.
I can't hang onto that rock forever. I have to be my own rock and it's okay if I change over time. Hopefully I've learnt the tools to get myself through any tough times to come, such as when my dad dies, or heaven forbid, something bad happens to the kids or me.
Thank you for calling the ambulance. I was pretty mad that day, then devastated, but it set off a chain of events which got me the support to get out of my marriage and to get through the horrific aftermath.
I finally feel like I have the power to write my own story, and to change it. And to ask for help along the way. I see now I was scared to be a single parent again, but it's easier this time around. I'm broke and always tired, but a lot happier.
I finally feel like I'm only dropping one or two balls each day, but that's hell of a lot better than losing them all and constantly trying to pick up all the pieces.
Thank you for putting up with me and getting me to this point.
I'm looking forward to having a break from therapy and from my own head, it'll be nice to have my mind to myself for a while.
You leaving is like you're dead. I've kept in touch with most people I've worked with or have crossed paths with, but I don't think you do that with your patients.
I think you're a great therapist, and it will be a big loss for the field. I wish you all the best in your future, and I hope you'll say hi if we ever cross paths again.

[iheartjacques]

Now I don't know how to sign it off

[DodgersMom]

Originally Posted by iheartjacques

Dear Xxxx
Thank you for being my psychiatrist for the last three years. Just saying "thank you" doesn't seem enough, and you don't seem the type to accept gifts or cards.
I don't know if I can articulate what I want to say without dissolving into tears, hence this note.
When I first came here, I was a pretty big mess. These days, not so much of a mess. Thanks to you, I've been able to unpack some stuff that's been affecting me for a long time.
When I said "I just want to get better" and you said, "we'll get you better", that's the day I gave you a chance.
Thank you for changing my medication and being knowledgable about the side effects.
Thank you for annoying me, challenging me, pushing my buttons and your constant prodding. I've had to face stuff I didn't want to face, and admit fears I didn't want to acknowledge. I'm so glad I never lost my temper, and stayed in my chair. There have been times when I've walked out thinking "what would he know? Who does he think he is?". Other times I've walked out feeling utterly broken. I've learned it doesn't matter if you haven't experienced what I have, your job was to help me figure myself out and help me work out effective strategies.
Once you told me to find the angry, frightened little girl in me. I don't remember what I was supposed to do when I found her, but I don't have to look far. She's in the face of every child I work with. So you're right, my work with kids is quite healing. It's hard going some weeks, but the end rewards are great when I see them grow up into confident young adults ready to take on the world.
I am really going to miss you. I realise the who you are in the office may not be the xxx anyone else knows, but I appreciate the person who kept my secrets and let me create a safe place to dump my crap and sort through it. I can't say you were always kind and non-judgemental, but I can say you were consistent, willing to ask questions and look for solutions. You were like a rock, pretty much the same, while everything inside and around me was changing.
I can't hang onto that rock forever. I have to be my own rock and it's okay if I change over time. Hopefully I've learnt the tools to get myself through any tough times to come, such as when my dad dies, or heaven forbid, something bad happens to the kids or me.
Thank you for calling the ambulance. I was pretty mad that day, then devastated, but it set off a chain of events which got me the support to get out of my marriage and to get through the horrific aftermath.
I finally feel like I have the power to write my own story, and to change it. And to ask for help along the way. I see now I was scared to be a single parent again, but it's easier this time around. I'm broke and always tired, but a lot happier.
I finally feel like I'm only dropping one or two balls each day, but that's hell of a lot better than losing them all and constantly trying to pick up all the pieces.
Thank you for putting up with me and getting me to this point.
I'm looking forward to having a break from therapy and from my own head, it'll be nice to have my mind to myself for a while.
You leaving is like you're dead. I've kept in touch with most people I've worked with or have crossed paths with, but I don't think you do that with your patients.
I think you're a great therapist, and it will be a big loss for the field. I wish you all the best in your future, and I hope you'll say hi if we ever cross paths again.

That was really lovely.... I like it, nicely worded

Yes I guess leaving a practice is kind of a final good bye. That stinks. Some therapists DO allow patients to keep in touch though, I've read many times, some will allow an email update here or there.... thats why I asked

I do like how you ended it though, kinda saying you hope he will say hi if you see him around. Good call. Signed off just fine, just sign your name

Hugs to you for this very sad session ahead

[unaluna]

Youve been thru a very personal journey with him. If you want to sign it with love, i dont see why not, if that is what you feel. Sincerely!

[toomanycats]

what a wonderful letter.

[1stepatatime]

Originally Posted by iheartjacques

Dear Xxxx
Thank you for being my psychiatrist for the last three years. Just saying "thank you" doesn't seem enough, and you don't seem the type to accept gifts or cards.
I don't know if I can articulate what I want to say without dissolving into tears, hence this note.
When I first came here, I was a pretty big mess. These days, not so much of a mess. Thanks to you, I've been able to unpack some stuff that's been affecting me for a long time.
When I said "I just want to get better" and you said, "we'll get you better", that's the day I gave you a chance.
Thank you for changing my medication and being knowledgable about the side effects.
Thank you for annoying me, challenging me, pushing my buttons and your constant prodding. I've had to face stuff I didn't want to face, and admit fears I didn't want to acknowledge. I'm so glad I never lost my temper, and stayed in my chair. There have been times when I've walked out thinking "what would he know? Who does he think he is?". Other times I've walked out feeling utterly broken. I've learned it doesn't matter if you haven't experienced what I have, your job was to help me figure myself out and help me work out effective strategies.
Once you told me to find the angry, frightened little girl in me. I don't remember what I was supposed to do when I found her, but I don't have to look far. She's in the face of every child I work with. So you're right, my work with kids is quite healing. It's hard going some weeks, but the end rewards are great when I see them grow up into confident young adults ready to take on the world.
I am really going to miss you. I realise the who you are in the office may not be the xxx anyone else knows, but I appreciate the person who kept my secrets and let me create a safe place to dump my crap and sort through it. I can't say you were always kind and non-judgemental, but I can say you were consistent, willing to ask questions and look for solutions. You were like a rock, pretty much the same, while everything inside and around me was changing.
I can't hang onto that rock forever. I have to be my own rock and it's okay if I change over time. Hopefully I've learnt the tools to get myself through any tough times to come, such as when my dad dies, or heaven forbid, something bad happens to the kids or me.
Thank you for calling the ambulance. I was pretty mad that day, then devastated, but it set off a chain of events which got me the support to get out of my marriage and to get through the horrific aftermath.
I finally feel like I have the power to write my own story, and to change it. And to ask for help along the way. I see now I was scared to be a single parent again, but it's easier this time around. I'm broke and always tired, but a lot happier.
I finally feel like I'm only dropping one or two balls each day, but that's hell of a lot better than losing them all and constantly trying to pick up all the pieces.
Thank you for putting up with me and getting me to this point.
I'm looking forward to having a break from therapy and from my own head, it'll be nice to have my mind to myself for a while.
You leaving is like you're dead. I've kept in touch with most people I've worked with or have crossed paths with, but I don't think you do that with your patients.
I think you're a great therapist, and it will be a big loss for the field. I wish you all the best in your future, and I hope you'll say hi if we ever cross paths again.

Very nice letter!! : )

[lucozader]

That's a wonderful and very moving letter. I'm sure he will really appreciate it. I think you should sign it off with love, if that's what you feel.

I hope your final session is everything you need it to be.

That was a really sweet letter. I'm sure that your T will really appreciate it.

I never have written to a T, but I imagine that I might when roboT retires in December.

[southernsky]

Your letter brought a tear to my eye. I really think any therapist would be very touched and humbled to know that you felt that way about him/her. I think there is a good chance that he will hold onto your letter and look back on it from time to time.

[iheartjacques]

Originally Posted by southernsky

Your letter brought a tear to my eye. I really think any therapist would be very touched and humbled to know that you felt that way about him/her. I think there is a good chance that he will hold onto your letter and look back on it from time to time.

I doubt he would keep it. I think he will keep it in my file with all his notes. I asked what happens to them. He said they will be securely stored for a period of time, 7 years and then destroyed.

[iheartjacques]

Thank you for the feedback everyone. Less than 24 hours to go. I'm just numb now. It's night time here. Then work then the final session. I think I will just buy dinner for the kids and have a night off.

[DodgersMom]

Originally Posted by iheartjacques

Thank you for the feedback everyone. Less than 24 hours to go. I'm just numb now. It's night time here. Then work then the final session. I think I will just buy dinner for the kids and have a night off.

ugh so sorry, this has to be awful for you. sending you all my best and some internet hugs

[LonesomeTonight]

Originally Posted by iheartjacques

Thank you for the feedback everyone. Less than 24 hours to go. I'm just numb now. It's night time here. Then work then the final session. I think I will just buy dinner for the kids and have a night off.

The letter is lovely. I hope your last session goes well. I know you are very attached to him, so I'm sure it will be very painful. But you'll get through it.

[iheartjacques]

The hour is here.
Here we go.

[iheartjacques]

He said that was a lovely letter. He said he felt privileged to earn my trust. He was sad to leave private practice but it was something he had to give up for his new position. He said he looked forward to hearing about what great things I would do. I said how will you know? He said you might be in the newspaper. Ha ha. I'm a low flyer. But he said I was very smart, very tough, and said he knows I don't believe it when people so I'm strong and resilient and I always feel like I'm falling apart. He said the strength was in acknowledging that and getting help. I asked him for a hug before I left. He said yes you can have a hug. He was warm, solid and comforting. I will miss him so much. I tried not to cry. Picked up the kids and went to the toilet and sobbed for a while. In a hot bath and the tears are still falling. It's hard letting go.

[DodgersMom]

Originally Posted by iheartjacques

He said that was a lovely letter. He said he felt privileged to earn my trust. He was sad to leave private practice but it was something he had to give up for his new position. He said he looked forward to hearing about what great things I would do. I said how will you know? He said you might be in the newspaper. Ha ha. I'm a low flyer. But he said I was very smart, very tough, and said he knows I don't believe it when people so I'm strong and resilient and I always feel like I'm falling apart. He said the strength was in acknowledging that and getting help. I asked him for a hug before I left. He said yes you can have a hug. He was warm, solid and comforting. I will miss him so much. I tried not to cry. Picked up the kids and went to the toilet and sobbed for a while. In a hot bath and the tears are still falling. It's hard letting go.

So very sad. I am glad he agreed to a hug though. Hope you always remember that

[LonesomeTonight]

Sounds like a nice final session. Glad he appreciated the letter and that you got a hug. Sorry you're hurting so much, but it's to be expected, since you just suffered a loss, really.

[iheartjacques]

Yes, I'm so glad I got a hug.
The whole session replays in my head.
I get unexpectedly teary at times.
I drift off thinking about him, the past things he said.