[stopdog]

I do not see the therapist as ever having provided understanding or measures to better myself etc. I don't know exactly what an intervention is.

The woman has said things to me like "you do not being humiliated" - which, while true, is scarcely insightful or surprising or the result of exceptional intelligence. Most people do not like being humiliated. I already knew I did not like being humiliated.

Sometimes she has said "everyone does x" like it matters to me how many people have done something. I usually recognize I am not unique and the context is not one where I am lamenting that I am the only one who ever did or felt or had done to X. I get it if she means "quit talking about x because it is the human condition" but other than that, I have no idea why it would matter to me how many others do the same thing. Is that her attempt at intervention? Empathy? Shutting me down
I do ask her, and she refuses to answer - which is why I have more than one - I go ask them and get various responses that I can at least build a framework from. Usually my response - is "really? that is what that was supposed to do? I cannot imagine that approach would work."

So while I do not find these sorts of responses useful in any fashion(and I am not looking for comments on my approach), I do wonder if others find them so? Do others find the therapist talking in such ways useful and how so? Is it their stating the obvious that is useful?

[sweepy62]

It depends, what topic we are on, sometimes I tell her that I just want to vent and for her to listen, and not to tell me we have to process what I just said.

Sometimes she will say ok, but it needs to be processed and we will go back to it, meaning she will give me feedback. Usually I want feedback, I like to debate and challenge. If my viewpoint is irrational or maladaptive, I just dont want them saying it, I want proof. I want to know how they came to that conclusion.

There are times when I cant articulate things, being that she knows me verbal and non verbally, most of the time, she knows whats bothering me, I call that an intervention for me.

thats why I think the communication is very important to me.

[stopdog]

So the therapist talking is not intervention but processing?

[CameraObscura]

Part of the reason I am in therapy is the ways I have learned or developed to handle things, or emotional responses I have to things, are not working for me.

If my patterns aren't working for me, who am I going to look to for ideas for change? Other people, people who react differently, so I can try different ways. I couldn't very well model after my cat, after all. Other people are all we have to learn from.

[stopdog]

So modeling through the therapist talking is intervention?
I do not get the modeling thing at all. What does the therapist say that constitutes modeling? Is that why they state the obvious? Because they are modeling?
Nor what processing is either. Does it have a time limit or number of times something is talked about - okay you talked about it twice ergo it is processed?

[sweepy62]

Originally Posted by stopdog

So the therapist talking is not intervention but processing?

Yeah to me

[stopdog]

So what is intervention? Or are all of these terms used interchangeably?

[ListenMoreTalkLess]

I don't know if this helps you at all, but I haven't found that my T's statements (in terms of content) are useful to me. There are a couple of notable exceptions, the most recent one was when I was discussing a medical problem that my wife has, I had all kinds of irrational thoughts/feelings about the situation, things that I would never do or say out loud, such as what if she died? would I date again? My T said, they're just thoughts that come to you, you don't have to feel guilty or think you're a bad person for having them. That actually helped me, maybe I'm just thick in the head, I should have known this before T said it. But her stating it out loud, even though I "knew" it at some level, just interrupted the whole negative cycle and I was able to let it go.

I get some value out of what she says when I describe my experience of something. She'll reflect on it with her own experience or someone else she knows. I don't think her point is to just normalize it. The point for me is to compare and contrast what she says with my own understanding. Sometimes I'll say, "yeah, but mine is different because . . . " or find another distinction. Or what she says resonates with my experience and I'll say, "yeah, I think the worst part about it was the guilt." So I sort of use her statements as a springboard to think more deeply about whatever issue it is.

I think I'd call that "communication" or "interaction". It is an intervention in my mind.

[unaluna]

"Is it their stating the obvious?" I think their statement of the obvious is part of a technique (not just a psychotherapy technique) where you let the other person know you heard what the other person (in this case the client) just said. This is not a given. You, stopdog, may hear, and i, hankster, may hear, and our lives depended on our interpreting a situation correctly or in a way that ensured our safety. This is what i learned this week. But this way of hearing and seeing is now getting in my way. It is an isolating way to live.

Not everything my Ts say is insightful, but at times they have been able to pick up on certain points, or highlight patterns of behaviour, join dots... things I may not have seen for myself - at least in the moment. I like to think I'm pretty intelligent, but my Ts are smart people with expertise in their field and a lot more life experience than I have, so I find talking to them helpful. It can be good to bounce things back and forth (two heads are better than one?) and get a different perspective, be challenged, or even just validated,

I don't know about 'intervention'... I don't know that I would use that word to refer to my experiences in therapy, though I suppose it might apply.

At least in some forms of therapy, I think 'modeling' comes in as the therapist is supposed to model healthy behaviour and thinking patterns - demonstrating by example.

[unlockingsanity]

I think maybe just stating the obvious is something therapists do to try and create understanding being the client and therapist.

Or she might have said "everyone does X" to try and normalize whatever you were discussing. Sort of like, "everyone masturbates, but no one talks about it" type of situation where it's sort of taboo to talk about it but speaking to the truth of it could bring bring relief in knowing you're not some weird anomaly.

You asked if anyone found the approach helpful: I do, at times. When T tells me X is a common response from X, it makes me feel less of an idiot and it's harder to put myself down for my "normal" responses.

I'm not sure what you're meaning when it comes to intervention. Did your therapist actually say "intervention" ?

[stopdog]

Another poster used the word in another thread.

I have read about them in books and blogs such as this one. I dislike this blogger a lot, but this is an example:
http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/...-mentions-wrap

I'm also not sure what an intervention would mean in this context. When I went to ask my pdoc if I could see him for therapy, a friend of mine wrote a letter on my behalf, which he termed an intervention. I thought that's what the word meant, that a third party intervened between two other parties.

My previous therapist would tell me obvious things. I did not get much out of that therapy. No T I have seen (three so far including my current T) has ever told me what "everyone does". My current T in particular knows exactly how much I dislike that kind of phrasing, and I'm sure he would never say anything like that. (My best friend does, sometimes, and I find it very shaming when he does.)

[stopdog]

I think the word has several uses/meanings.

[unlockingsanity]

Originally Posted by stopdog

I think the word has several uses/meanings.

Okay. I stand my comment about normalizing the human experience then, as to "what" the intervention was.

[stopdog]

I personally do not find the normalizing thing useful. But it seems as though others do.

Well, I can see how it is unhelpful to you Stopdog but when t say that other people have done such and such it does make me feel more normal as most days I feel abnormal. When I hear that someone else has been through what I have and come out the other side it helps.
For example because I am a lesbian I feel abnormal(please don't feel offended here as I mean no offence to anyone, its just how I feel) T tries to tell me it is normal and healthy.

[rothfan6]

Technique or approach seems like a better word than intervention. Sometimes my T is pointing out the obvious but it's not something I can see. It helps when I'm beating myself for the way I cope or respond to something and he says it's normal for my experience. It makes it a little easier to deal with. I dont think processing has a time limit. It's like learning a new skill or language.

[Asiablue]

None of the therapists i've ever seen have came up with anything ground-breakingly new to me, on occasions, thru talking around and around over a subject i'll be directed to seeing a pattern or theme or reason for what I'm questioning.
I hate the normalising thing, just because something i do or feel is common for others doesn't mean it is "normal", and also i am not stupid, i am very aware that there's nothing on this planet that i do or say or feel or experience that is unique to only me.

What does help, for me at least, is just being given the space to tell my story, to process it, for someone to truly see me and accept me and respond with kindness. THat it what is healing to me. To have someone set aside 1 hour just for me. To sit with me and explore all the feelings i have which are often all mixed up and conflicting and don't always make sense. They sit with me thru it and often state the obvious, dripping in constant messages of empathy, support, safety, assurance that i'm not going to drown in it all, that i'm an ok human being. I can let my defences down for that one hour and be safe. They can basically soothe me while i allow the torment inside to be externalised. Yes, what they say is obvious, because on some level i know my thinking and feelings are distorted but i need to hear those obvious statements, i need to see myself reflected back via them and allow for that positivity to get thru and somehow mend the cracks my childhood left behind.
For me, that's where the healing is. It is in the obvious but positive statement, it is in the soothing tones and words and in the reassurances. Sometimes they join up the dots or point something out when i can't see the wood from the trees but 95% of the time it's the other stuff that helps.

[stopdog]

Interesting that it can be considered soothing.
This is not a criticism, it is just I find it the polar opposite of soothing and did not consider it could be found soothing.

[Asiablue]

it's not always soothing, sometimes I feel sick with nerves or am fearful or stressed etc but there are many moments when i can just allow myself to "be" and in those times, when i'm feeling vulnerable and can let my therapist in, then she can be soothing.

[stopdog]

Oh. Sorry I misunderstood.

[feralkittymom]

For me, intervention is a very directive, action-oriented word. At first, I didn't see how it would apply in the sort of therapy session you're talking about (I understand its specific meaning in an addictions setting). But then, it started to feel like the exactly right word: I suspect she's reacting to your self-structure which can seem rather impermeable and self-sustaining. If "normalizing" holds no helpful meaning for you, and therapeutic expertise, if it exists at all, isn't applicable for you, and you're not seeking nor accepting of any emotional connection to her, then she may very well think in terms of "intervention." What is her means of access to your psychology (as that's how she would view her professional purpose)? She is effectively neutralized. Her reaction to that probably is to feel a need to "intervene" (or "meddle" ) I would think that if that's not what you want from her, it would be very aggravating.

Most Ts work on multiple levels simultaneously: part education, part counterweight, part ego support, part wound tending, part analysis, etc. Processing I think of as the cycling through of whatever interaction is happening, sometimes consecutively, sometimes concurrently. Sometimes the focus of such recycling is a feeling, sometimes it's a situation, a behavior, a decision--could be almost anything. Depending upon the orientation of the T, processing might occur by seeing outside issues, patterns, feelings as they are reflected in the T/client relationship in the room. And then whatever happens within the session can continue independently by both T and client--to be brought back into the session again.

I've never thought of modeling as something a T says particularly, though changes in attitudes can be revealed through modeling different language--like characterizing emotions in more humane language, for instance. Or if a client talks of abuse as "discipline" as a way of minimizing/denial, the T may provoke the emotion by calling it "abuse." I usually think of most modeling as a function of relationship. When we grow up in dysfunctional relationships, we adopt a pattern of responses that is skewed; a functional relationship with a T can model healthier responses, boundaries, expectations, etc.

[stopdog]

The therapist I see has not used the term intervention. It comes up in their writing (see the blog link as an example, but many papers and chapters in books are available where the term is tossed about) and, like I said, the term was used in another thread by another poster in context of finding it to be a useful thing. I was curious about it.

[unaluna]

I was confused too as to why you were asking, as my understanding of the word is similar to feral's. I thought perhaps you meant "interpretation", in which case i would say, not everything, and that it would depend on the t's orientation. Still, ime, therapy is a collaborative experience. T may be the expert in psychology, but i am the expert in what happened to me and how i feel. its like t is helping me put together a jigsaw puzzle that i couldnt do on my own.