Couch 143: The Mr. Rogers Love Transformation

No one wants to hang out with me
Sad panda

Im so bored n lonely n alone.

Hugs... I'd hang out with you and go to the movies with you (as long as you're not a serial killer of course. Hm)

from another thread: just realized "bullocks" and "ox" share a root.

this is so satisfying for me... i had a good one last week, too, realized that "cole" must be some root for cabbage. cole slaw, kale, cauliflower, colcannon, (nat king cole?) kohlrabi. then... kohlrabi, kohl-rape, rapeseed, rapa, broccoli-rabe. woohoo

old news for atat and easily google-able for CE, though

I'm confused right now (my mother tongue is german - we're experts in creating words, but...)

happy for you though

You know what, guys... I feel pretty okay now.

To all who have written letters to their T:
- what did you do while your T read the letter?
- wasn't that awkward?
- how did T react?
- did you say anything before handing over the letter?
- etc

Ahhhhh (me, trying to figure out human communication)

I would respond to everyone that I want to respond to but this migraine ugh. Know that I have read most posts and feel things appropriate to each person's situation.



Also, my schedule for next school year changed. Again. That's a thing that happened.

- I curled into a ball with my eyes closed.
- Yes, it was immensely awkward.
- He didn't react that well to be honest.
- I... explained that I'd written something for him.

-Twice I read it aloud, once he read while I sat there doing pretty much nothing.
-Yes, a bit. Less so than you'd think, though.
-Congratulated me on my writing ability, thanked me for sharing, affirm, normalize, reflect, blah blah blah
-"I wrote you a letter. I can't read it. It's sort of long. Take your time."

Hi guys. Looks like I have a lot of catching up to do on the couch when I get home tonight from work. I have a pounding headache. My work day is it over for another 2 hours and that's if they get home at 6. Started at 8am. I'm getting a little breather while the babies nap right now. I've had a horrible headache all day. I'm really literally exhausted out of my mind. I'm just gonna let my mind be blank until they wake up. I know I don't have long.

Meh... I guess I have to teach T how to read my thoughts then

(Curling into a ball sounds like something I'd do... T needs a couch. He only has super uncomfortable woody chairs)

I've never written a whole letter but I wrote something embarrassing down once and after I handed it to her I hid my head and said "please don't hate me". She said she didn't hate me.

Still with same T. Boundaries changed. Frustrating, but life. I'm learning, and growing and she's still awesome. It was time anyway.

Different PDOC. Love her. She's amazing and is (believe it or not) actually there when I have needed her!

I have finally cut my mother out of my life. I still feel hugely guilty, but I'm making progress in my therapy, more than I do when she's actively in my life.

My dad has finally left my mom, he had to run away (across country) without her knowing his true purposes as he was literally afraid for his life. I guess that should tell me something right there. She finally knows about the divorce and it's a whole effed up mess but it's their mess not mine, and it's not my job to support my mother. It's her job to support me which she's never done.

That's my little update. I'm also coming to terms with my life, and my world and having D.I.D. (Dissociative Identity Disorder). Working slowly through it and acceptance of myself, my whole self - not easy. Going through the past traumas and trying to learn my triggers and how to respond to them, and teaching my alters we are now not then - exhausting.

I've missed the couch.

Also related to bollocks - balls, and phallus.

If you can work in kohl, the ancient Egyptian makeup, used for eyeliner and to highlight varicose veins on women's legs, that would be frickin awesome.

Steadily freaking out more and more. My IRL support systems are limited as it is, and so the faintest possibility of losing one has my head spinning. Will be a couple of weeks before I know anything for sure, but one of my major supports has been signed off work for sickness, and it's uncertain at this stage...

But kohl's not made of cabbage, I don't think

OR IS IT??

Ahh yes, the great ball'd ox

i feel like there should be a question mark button along with thanks and hugs

just joking btw, i dont want to disrupt the group milieu

disclaimer: this is not about the couch or anything in particular

oh jeeze, that is very courageous of you!! bravo... i dont know if i could do that, haha

im not i promise

given him many letters. lately i just put them in the mailbox there at his office. but ive given lots of handwritten ones in the past

- what did you do while your T read the letter?
Sat and stared at stuff feeling awkward. watching his face. sometimes he would highlight stuff, or make that mmm,.. noise. you know that sound therapists make, hmmm, yes...yes...

- wasn't that awkward?
Yep!!
- how did T react?
We would discuss the letter, he would bring up things from it. i guess they cal that 'processing'

- did you say anything before handing over the letter?
Yes. "i wrote you something/a letter/this/HERE!"
- etc

I'd go to the movies with you, DNA.

Unless the movie you wanted to see was ****. Then I wouldn't go.

ok well its a pretty messed up horror film and im aware thats not everyones type... this is the warning!!

ive asked my T many times why im so interested in morbid and dark, disturbing things. he says some stuff like re-experiencing trauma, triggering myself, idk. i enjoy it and im not hurting anyone so i dont see the problem

Yeah horror isn't my thing. Thrillers no problem but gore and horror I can't do.

I'm more of the "I haven't developed past when I was traumatized" type, so bring on the Disney movies.