Couch 143: The Mr. Rogers Love Transformation

Steadily freaking out more and more. My IRL support systems are limited as it is, and so the faintest possibility of losing one has my head spinning. Will be a couple of weeks before I know anything for sure, but one of my major supports has been signed off work for sickness, and it's uncertain at this stage...

No thriller/horror stuff for me, nope, no thank you


If you ever want to watch something slow and ponderous with no plot then hmu!

I think that nasty films serve as a safe outlet for our deepest fears and darkest desires.

Luc: I don't like your T much today.

Sorry...

Ugh. I'm going to go.

Actually I think that is an excuse therapists use to absolve themselves of their mistakes.

No. 3, after a mistake she made that left me feeling ******, pointed out to me that in therapy things have to get worse before they get better. I pointed out that that didn't apply to when the therapist made things worse.

She had no response.

Still with same T. Boundaries changed. Frustrating, but life. I'm learning, and growing and she's still awesome. It was time anyway.

Different PDOC. Love her. She's amazing and is (believe it or not) actually there when I have needed her!

I have finally cut my mother out of my life. I still feel hugely guilty, but I'm making progress in my therapy, more than I do when she's actively in my life.

My dad has finally left my mom, he had to run away (across country) without her knowing his true purposes as he was literally afraid for his life. I guess that should tell me something right there. She finally knows about the divorce and it's a whole effed up mess but it's their mess not mine, and it's not my job to support my mother. It's her job to support me which she's never done.

That's my little update. I'm also coming to terms with my life, and my world and having D.I.D. (Dissociative Identity Disorder). Working slowly through it and acceptance of myself, my whole self - not easy. Going through the past traumas and trying to learn my triggers and how to respond to them, and teaching my alters we are now not then - exhausting.

I've missed the couch.

I remembered another thing that T said today and I'm going to repeat it here, because... I don't know why. I want to share it.

I said I felt sorry for him, because I think I must be difficult - a difficult client.

He said that I am difficult. But he enjoys working with me, and he chose to work with me. That he made an informed decision.

I said... What, you knew that I'd be this difficult from our first session?

He said "Yes, I knew. Because you answered all my questions."

First appointment with a potential No. 6 Wednesday.

I keep this up, I'll soon have seen enough therapists for a baseball lineup.

haha, well at least she didn't get all defensive on you and try to make it your fault somehow (or maybe she did after this?) Also--are you seeing #3 in the near future?

Oh man! I am glad you give all your T's great nicknames, or I'd never keep them straight

Those are the best kind of movies.

Well, no call-back today. :shrug:

Maybe tomorrow.

You know, Hugh Jackman didn't get a callback for Wolverine and someone else got the part? But lo and behold, here we are...bub.

*snik*

I quite like the idea of an inferior actor playing my part in therapy.