Couch 144: The contact-miked cactus couch

Guys, I don't know what I'm feeling about that session. What am I feeling?

- Relief
- Anxiety
- Anger (still)
- A deep, very physical longing (again)
- A kind of... flirtatious... mischievousness?

Except I'm not feeling them in any distinct way. It's like they're all rolled up into a ball of weirdness.

Stupid feelings.

Relieved that you don't have to fire him - and at the same time angry for the same reason because keeping him means that he can still hurt you?

I'm in your pocket ellahme

It'll be fine

Hmmm. Yes, maybe.

In fact - yes, definitely.

...and angry because he didn't perfectly say all the things that I wanted to say. Which all the more infuriatingly is something that he did say. That no-one is good enough for me. But maybe he isn't good enough for me.

I don't know.

It's like I still kind of hate him but also I want him with every fibre of my being.

Well... what would be a good enough T for you? (Uhh... that isn't meant as mean as it sounds!)

I don't know.

It's hard to imagine any other T because I love him so fiercely.

Maybe he's fine how he is.

Maybe I'm fine with him being a total dickhead sometimes.

Ugh! What am I feeling?!

((Luc))

Sometimes feelings take a while to settle.

Who isn't a dickhead at times? I guess you'll have to be patient and figure out if you're ok with his weaknesses over time...

Hm. You could try to draw your feeling, if you like drawing!

Thanks Argo

Yeah. I think this is going to be one of those ones where I'm lying in bed at 3am on Friday morning and suddenly I get slapped in the face with remembering something that was said and a bunch of feelings and insights follow along.

I feel okay, anyway, really. This could be worse.

I was worried it would be worse.

ETA: and thanks Munie! I'm not usually a fan of drawing... I find it frustrating because I can never seem to express myself as well as I would like to. I might try it though...

Glad i'm not the only one who fails miserably at drawing how I feel... I hate that people keep suggesting it. Sorry for doing the same

Anyone want to come with me to Montreal tomorrow in my pockets to see No. 3? All expenses paid, croissants and petits-fours served on board.

Yes, please.

Sure - I could use some time away from my life. I don't even need chocolate. Passport in hand.

Are you ok elio?

I'm in too!

My bag is packed and I'm on my way.

Hello to the couch by the way! Hugs to everyone undergoing procedures today.

Also, in celebratory news, I'm at the gym, weighed myself for the first time in like, 3 weeks. I'm under 300 for the first time in 6+ years

The namesake

Triple digits here. What is it about the heat that makes one so short-tempered?

That's a thing, right?

Absolutely. I haven't been exposed to triple digits for awhile, but I get really grumpy when it's humid.

It just started to thunderstorm here and my mother is feeling the need to provide a commentary:

"Thunder!"

"Heavy rain!"

"Thunder from the west!"

This also makes me grumpy.

It's not triple digits here, but very humid, and I am super cranky. But then again, I've been cranky for days.

Absolutely. It's been hot here, too (well... y'know... hot for England... probably your idea of 'a bit chilly') and it just makes everything hard work. Which makes everyone grumpy.

Wanna trade? I'll deal with your mum's weather commentary and go to the No. 3 appointment if you see Mr. BeaversDon'tEatFish and finish up my 4th grade class. We're reading Roald Dahl.

I'll even put on the swamp cooler for you.

Ditto on that trade deal?

Or you, Daisy?

Any takers?

Tempting...till you get to the 9-year-olds. Unless they're reading "Lamb to the Slaughter"?

I normally would but I'm in my little oasis of weird music right now