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#1
Sep 23, 2007, 12:01 PM
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I haven't posted in a while in this forum, my current battle is fought along side with my T. I truley love my T in more ways then one. I just recently had a hard time believing my T(and still am) when she says its ok to e-mail me and its not an annoyance.
I've e-mailed twice in the past 2 days....Hopefully I'll get a reply. On to more...."serious" things.... I recently told my therapist something no one...almost no one knew. It was about a early age homosexual experience I had. She was SOOOOOOOOOOOO supportive and said it was totally ok, I was young and everyone is confused at some point, she always said its always ok as long as you feel connected to someone.... This event still traumatizes me....its a scar....because at a young age of 10-12 I was scard once I found out the deed I had done . The media doesn't seem to except ppl...like this. Though I'm not full blown Homosexual not even close in fact... I'm at most bi-curious...even during this experience i had female fantasys while doing it......if I can remember correctly =(. Right now I'm now suicidal...but not in a way to act upon it..I jsut feel lifeless and tired...not wantingto go on...maybe suicide is to much of a term...maybe I just feel lost.... How do I remember that my T is always there and that I'm not a bother....Thursday..is my next appointmnet it seems so ofar away........ |
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#2
Sep 23, 2007, 12:09 PM
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You remember all the instances when she was really supportive and you start building up your own instances when you're supportive of yourself :-) Look at how you presented this story and "explained" yourself and what you were feeling, etc. THAT is what is most okay and shows a good relationship budding with yourself.
"its always ok as long as you feel connected to someone...." -- work on that connection to yourself and you'll always have you there in all circumstances to help you remember its okay/gonna be okay.
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"Never give a sword to a man who can't dance." ~Confucius |
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#3
Sep 23, 2007, 09:10 PM
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((Moonkin))
Remembering T is always there is one of the most difficult aspects for me. Although, the longer I am in the relationship with him, the more I believe he's there. Sometimes, though I still believe he has disappeared. Maybe T said you could e-mail as a way of staying connected? Journaling helps me. I write T letters in my journal. I write poetry about the work I am doing and I just write about what I am feeling. Good luck!!! 
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