The Couch 147: Maximum Break!

Yeah... I think I need to get a bsc in printing or something...

Okay... turns out the printer is too stupid to print vertical pages... also you have to wait 5minutes after pressing print for a popup to open, so that you can enter your credentials. Those, of course, aren't your usual credentials... because the password there's for some (unknown) reason limited to 6 characters (usually you need to have > 7)

Hope everyone's having a nice Tuesday:-)

I am insane so totally insane I can't believe the insanity of my behaviour tonight, its like a drug and I cant stop.

Are you okay, BCM? Do you need help?

BCM... can we help you somehow? What's happening for you?

I don't want to alarm people I will be ok. I have just been unbelievably stupid this evening.

Hugs... we care about you though. We're here if you need to talk

Demunie did you get your printing done? If you lived near me my printer does all sorts of cool things, collates and everything just like the ones when I was working.

Yea... Only took me an eternity. You life too far away, otherwise I'd come over and stay with you until you feel better (and use your printer, of course)

Everything to do with my T is super insane at the moment.

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Okay. I hope whatever's bothering you atm resolves soon

I wasn't being rude. Did I come across as rude? I can never tell

Nope, you weren't. Sorry if I was :-)

You DO deserve good things

Sorry but that's crap. Nobody should have to expect (or deserve) to be yelled at. Ts are human beings too. They have feelings and deserve just as much respect as anyone else.

I feel like my T right now. I wish you wouldn't be so negative toward yourself.

In unrelated news, has anyone heard from Squirrel recently? I hope she's okay...

Hugs to all who want them on the couch. I don't dissociate I think...my feelings just turn themselves off and whatever emotion I feel just becomes gone.

I think that's the part of dissociation that appeals to me. I become debilitated by my emotions. I feel them intensely and have a really hard time turning them off.

I went to a pharmacy to buy something for my wounds. Pharmacist tried to help and asked: "What kind of wounds do you have? How did you get them?"
Very awkward

I didn't know turning off feelings / feelings shutting off is dissociation :gasp:

I know it's emotional numbing but don't know if emotional numbing is a form of dissociation.

It can be automatic and random (so I do get long periods of strong emotion...hate the random part) for me. I used to be able to will it (due to many years of practicing it) but lost the ability after some therapy. Now I just get emotions emotions emotions...then I step into T's office and pop they're gone. I can be crying heavily in T and then pop...nothing, only numbness.

Intense emotions like you describe really suck. I empathise. ((hug))
((Hug)) they shouldn't need to know how you got them. Sorry you're hurting.

I'm not actually sure whether or not the numbness is part of classic dissociation. I just know that in the times that I've dissociated that I've felt farther away from my emotions.

She was trying to help... It's my fault

It's not your fault that you wounded yourself. Even if she asked, it doesn't mean you have to answer if you don't want to.