The Couch 147: Maximum Break!

Hi couch. I'm up and showered and ready for work. H and I are meeting another couple for dinner after work and then going to the Journey concert after. It's outdoors and we only have lawn seats and it's likely going to rain, but we're going anyway, we'll see what happens. I'm still digging my way out of the shame spiral I started going down last week in my t session, just when I think I'm out another feel comes and down I go again. Oh well. I probably deserve to just live there like I used to. I am not feeling particularly mentally healthy this morning. But I will go to work and put on a smile. Hugs to those who want/need!

Therapy payment etiquette dilemma --

I'm checking out a potential new T who is currently long-distance but is supposed to move here later this year. She doesn't use PayPal or other online money transfer services because she'll have to pay fees to receive (which would be $3 max). So, she's asked me to find a branch of her bank and deposit it if my bank doesn't have free wire transfers (which it doesn't because well, very few personal accounts have that facility).

The logistic hassle of stuff like this drives me bananas (I have zero patience for it -- I used to pay more fees than is usual in sending money to the motherland just to avoid this crap). So, I tried checking out online money transfer options for which I could pay the fee myself and have the money directly deposited into her account. Turns out that it's rather hard to directly deposit money online into someone's account in the US.

I'm now wondering if I should just send her money through PayPal but after adding the fees to it. It'll come across as super passive-aggressive though. But, I refuse to take time out to find a branch of her bank and go to it.

Gah.

Btw, she's a true-blue psychoanalyst apparently -- if she doesn't bring up our back and forth on the payment, I'll consider her an instant out (and back I go, suitably chastened, into current T's arms).

Doesn't Paypal have a fee-free gift option? We use that for dues in my fantasy leagues.

Regardless, I would do what's most convenient for YOU.

*stuffs self inside of couch*

Duchess tells me to say random weird things - "I got in a fight with a tiger, you should see the tiger" (for example) there are more but I'm too tired to write them.

Ah, I didn't know about that -- thanks, will check it out!

Yes, use the "send money to friends and family" option.

This seems ridiculous to me. It shouldn't be on you to make paying her convenient and cheaper for HER. She should build the cost of money transfers into her fee and/or offer multiple methods of payment to make it easier for YOU, the client.

Yeah I wouldn't deposit money into her bank. If she's that insistent on not using PayPal because of the fee, just offer to pay the $3 as part of the service

My t mentioned one time about the fee associated w using my hsa card / credit card. But only once - I guess she decided it was better than having less sessions or losing a client. Therapy is expensive especially when you pay 100% out of pocket. Seems they would be able to write it off as a cost of doing business. I dunno.

Didn't we talk about Italian food yesterday?

Decided to do my italian comfy food today

Yum! Is that carbonara? (I've never eaten it, but I think I might have to try that dish.)

Carbonara it is :-) It tastes great, Doesn't score high on the healthy scale though

Yummmmmmmmm

My breakfast/lunch was half a pita :-\

But damn these pitas I get are soooooooooooooooooooooo good


Eta no idea why my re: has a heart next to it

If I just lay here in a bunch of palo santo smoke drinking wine and listening to the street sounds forever and don't go to M tomorrow will that mean that... our appointment never comes and he never goes away?

Yes. Duchess said this is all psychosomatic.... Which is nicer way than saying it's all in your head.

I have quite a lot of psychosomatic issues... it's not in your head, it's very, very real pain and discomfort, as much as any pain can be considered real or unreal. But it IS caused by something in your head or rather, by your head and body cooperating in some self-perpetuating, now-redundant stress response....

Because you really love that pita?

My lunch may have been a few handfuls of Cheetos puffs and a beer...breakfast was a fruit smoothie though!

I'm really glad my marriage counselor doesn't charge for phone calls. Because, according to my call log, that one was apparently 43 minutes?!? Which is an entire session basically. I've been in kind of a bad place since yesterday's session, though, and that call helped--just didn't realize it was nearly that long until I looked at the time. (He didn't seem to be trying to get off the phone or anything either. He doesn't see clients on Tuesdays, so maybe he was bored?)

I feel that there's a whole load of emotions that want to come bursting out of me. But I can only feel the very edges of them because I'm keeping them at arms length. I don't have the strength to feel them all properly. Not until T is back. I'm in the middle of exploring some painful stuff. Why did T have to go on holiday while I try to batten down the emotional hatches alone?

It is verrrrrrry good pita

Ngggggggggg

She may have been banned from using Paypal, like merchants can be banned from Visa.

Although....I've been somewhat paranoid lately, so don't mind me.

Hey couch! Exhausted after playing catch-up today at work. Hit the grocery on the way home, wrangled kids into carrying them in and we all chipped in putting them away. I'm now parked in front of the a/c flat on my back with my feet up. Good for swollen feet but bad for backs. As I already have a bad back it's a double no-no for me but I'm a rebel! Hopefully you are all doing well or as well as can be expected. Hugs and nods all around.

Guys, teaching is expensive. I've spent 400 on my classroom in the last few days, and I'm still making lists of things I need.