The Couch 148: Boby

"Bucket" is the correct spelling.

Who, yoo? Nah....

I'm okay. Just need to go to sleep and stop being a twat.

I don't do much pot or alcohol -pot knocks me out for a few days and alcohol makes me feel bad. Old age on the drink. Pot always knocked me out.
I would never ever get impaired around one of those people. Although the woman did say she'd like to see me smoke pot because i said it makes me giggle before putting me to sleep. Like she would ever get that part of me. Madness

Is that what the Russian ambassador is courting you with these days?

Maybe as a retirement gift you could giggle for her?

No. The woman is not worthy. And I don't believe in giving those guys gifts.

Last time I smoked pot, it just made me fall asleep lol. It used to make me less shy around other people. Not that I ever smoked it a lot or anything. I used to drink rum & coke when I was younger - that was my go to. Nowadays, I can barely handle one margarita without having a hangover the next morning. The only alcohol I can drink is wine - if I stick to one or two glasses, I don't get hung over or drunk or anything. Although I have my moments - that party at our friends house awhile back when I got totally **** faced and had a fight with h in front of them. Getting drunk is rare for me. I just like a glass of wine in the evening a couple days a week. In fact I just got back from the grocery store restocking my supply.

Hes a baconista, so when i saw Steven and Chris make bacon vodka on canadian tv, i emailed the directions to t and brought him some mason jars. Being the polite person he is, he returned one of the mason jars with a coupla shots in it. I think it was just me drinking. But who knows what hes got in all those mugs and glasses on his table?

H is being actually pretty supportive of my current t struggles. We were talking about it last night - he noticed that I was looking sad - and asked why and I explained a little of the latest. That I had emailed her some feelings that resulted in that question that resulted in my answer "i am out" and her cancelling my appointments next month and me asking for a session to say goodbye and she said to just call if and when. He didn't yell at me, he did ask why I emailed her since we'd already agreed to take 4 weeks off. I said because I had some strong feelings, you just don't understand, I didn't ask to see her or anything. And he said "I know she helped you a lot for a long time, but in the past few months I don't think she's helping you anymore, he said she seems to be hurting you instead of helping you and I love you so much, I hate to see you so sad." He really blew me away with all of that. He said I know you keep saying you want to "end things the right way" but he said I don't think there is a right way. I said well I don't want to leave on bad terms. He said why? She doesn't care. You're just a client, a paycheck, she'll move along to another one. I said I don't know. That's just who I am - I care.

It was a good conversation, I did cry a little bit but not so much that I couldn't talk or that he got upset. I think that I have judged my husband unfairly in the past and not given him a chance to really say what's on his heart. He was very helpful to me last night after we went to bed and had that conversation. I should give him a chance more often.

Does it taste more like bacon? Or more like vodka? Just curious.

Art-do you know what you are looking for with/around the therapist?

People in the grocery store parking lot were looking at me like I am strange earlier. I'd gone grocery shopping and the sky was clear, but when I came out, monsoon hyperburst baby! I was soaked to the skin before I got to my car it was raining so hard. I put the groceries in the car and then stood there for a minute with my arms out and my face to the sky just loving the rain. I love this time of year in the desert.

Seriously I should add my to signature the PSA don't give them the names of people. Use fake phone numbers for your work. Or contacts or address.

My dear stopdog I have not a clue at the moment. That is what I've given myself the next month for - to figure it out!!

I do hope you figure it out.
You have more emotion in 10 minutes than I do in ten weeks. I am not criticizing -just probably why I am rarely useful.

Thanks. And I know I do. It's a gift.

And a useful one when it comes to writing my poems. Not so useful at other times.

Honestly, I think I somehow got all the emotion in my family of origin.

My favorite supervisor at work even wrote about that in my review one year - he said "Art needs to stop thinking with her feelings."

I'm like, but HOW?!

My sibling and mother got the ones in my family. They always seemed so chaotic to me.

Last week while I was grocery shopping I found a brookie mix, and H is really into brookies right now. Once he got off work I came out into the living room and H said tonight is the night. They need about 15 more minutes in the oven.

Desserts don't normally help when I'm down like this, but they won't hurt either.

Dafux a brookie

Brownie + cookie

thanks anais, i just learned a new word!!

Ohhhhhhhh
I think we call those blondies

(A brownie but blonde color like a cookie)

The coolest thing happened in the parking lot of the grocery store a little bit ago. It was pouring rain, a hyperburst, and there was a bunch of water running from the road into the parking lot really fast.... and I was stopped, waiting to pull out, seeing the running water on the ground out the corner of my eye made me feel like my car was moving. It was a crazy feeling. (I get all hyper during thunderstorms cuz I love them, don't mind me.)