[stopdog]

This idea came up in another thread- where it was offered that clients mostly don't even know themselves what are they really working on in therapy. For me - this is one of the many reasons why I do not give a therapist free rein. I think this idea is very condescending to clients.
I do know what it is I do with therapy and I absolutely do not go in to let one of those guys just mess around with me. I don't use or think of the word "working" when dealing with a therapist - but as it seems usual - I went with it.
So - do you know?

[growlycat]

I'm working on :
Building my social network and support outside of therapy
Managing a chronic illness
How to handle an elderly parent who is an alcoholic
How to get rid of a driving phobia

Other stuff comes up and he's pretty flexible.

[awkwardlyyours]

To be a trifle less miserable.

Either in terms of the sheer amount of time spent in said miserable state or (very preferably, "and", but I'll settle for "or" even) in the intensity of the misery.

[feileacan]

I suppose you were picking it up from my response. I voted for "other" because I'm not working on anything concrete in my therapy. Sure, I could say that very broadly I work on my early relational trauma but what does that even mean? I think I can only in retrospect say what was it that I actually worked on.

In my other post where you picked my thought up I hope you did not draw any such conclusion that although I think that most people don't even know themselves what they are working on that this somehow implies that their therapists know better because I don't think I expressed anything like this. In fact I believe that the therapist is always several steps behind and needs to have the full trust that although the patients might not know what is it that he's working on enough to verbalise it clearly he is still working on the right things.

[toomanycats]

It's funny, when new T (C) asked what my goals were for therapy in our first session, I was so anxious that I couldn't retrieve that information from my mind......

But, my goals are:

1. To process what happened with my ex-Therapist (S)
2. To understand and work through attachment trauma both from S as well as from childhood
3. To process past traumas that I have yet to process in therapy so that they can become firmly "in my past" and not intrude into my daily life
4. To strengthen my interpersonal relationships, including my marriage and my motherhood

[LostOnTheTrail]

I enlisted R's help for the sole purpose (soul purpose? - maybe the same thing) of dealing with the trauma of emotional abuse at the hands of a friend. Officially, our goals are:

1. Admit/accept my feelings around the experience.
2. Stay with the feelings as they arise.
3. Process the emotions as much as possible within the safety of the session.

I will know that we have done the work when I am no longer dealing with intrusive thoughts and emotional flashbacks in relation to this issue.

Thank you for the interesting, thought-provoking poll.

[Lemoncake]

In general to help ease my depression.To help me come to terms and accept the abuse that I have gone through. To help me find ways to cope with very strong emotions and moods changes.

At the moment trying to stay present in sessions.

[velcro003]

I put other, because I don't really know. I originally started therapy (not w current T) because my kitten had unexpectedly passed away, and it really threw me. I also had been thinking about trying therapy for a few years as well.

2 T's later, and not entirely sure what my goals are. I've never had goals or aspirations in life, so I am not sure why I think I would have them in therapy. One of my biggest problems is just a general "stuckness" that I've been in for so long, I can't imagine any other way.

[AllHeart]

Yes - I think I do. Sometimes I get lost in the specifics and details of what my t and I are working on, as well as the why's and how's things are being worked on. That usually winds up creating obnoxious, unrealistic expectations for me to disappoint myself with which in turn makes me question what the hell I'm working on in therapy. When I look at what I'm working on in therapy as a helpful support in order to make my quality of life richer, meaningful, with purpose, etc., then it's a definitive yes.

I am glad that you have raised this.

My answer is "yes I think so" but I don't always know all the different areas and possibilities that are, or could be, affected by my therapy. But I do go into it with specific ideas, not necessarily very clear and often definitely not linear, but I can't imagine hiring a therapist (or any other professional) just for the sake of it, with something very vague, like "something is wrong with me, help me figure out what it is". Just not how I work as a person. Goal setting and a certain level of follow-up is important for me.

I have learned from experience though that sometimes there is are initial issues/goals that I desire to address and work towards, but they change on the go, during the process, based on what is realistic, feasible, and what is not realistic/feasible in a particular experience. I do still typically know what I am interested in in a given moment, but like to keep an open mind to possibilities and to how my perceptions and original goals can be adjusted in a constructive way for me. I don't usually abandon projects quickly just because they don't serve my original purpose, but I do need to see some kind of goal that they do serve, even if adjusted.

I like a lot of flexibility both in my and the therapist's approach, but I want to be and am the primary person driving and defining what it is in a given moment. My approach to life in general is similar: keeping an open mind to possibilities and potential, and being flexible enough myself to adjust based on experience, on the go. What if I discover an unexpected, new direction or application? I love to stay open to the unknown in pretty much all areas of my life. But I want to understand what I am doing in the moment, what for, try to calculate what opportunities might arise from it, etc. Otherwise I will stop engaging in it and definitely stop paying for it.

[NP_Complete]

There's definitely a clear purpose for my therapy. I started out going to deal with the anger I felt towards my husband. As it turns out, I was angry because he'd been emotionally abusing me for a really long time and I didn't see it as abuse. We're now working on the abuse and it's aftereffects.

[nyc artist]

There should be the option of "Yes, I know what I'm working on" , so I had to choose "other." Good poll though. ����

I have a very clear list of goals that I presented to both of my former Ts and my current T, without having ever been asked for them. Disasters 1 & 2 never once mentioned them, but T C told me that he is very proud of me and has been working on them with me. It's the first time I have ever thought a T "cared" about my goals and about me getting "better." I have a lot of long term goals that won't be reached for several years, but he's grinding away at the easier ones, i.e., learning healthy coping skills. It's made a huge difference in my miserable existence.

[Salmon77]

I said "other".

it was offered that clients mostly don't even know themselves what are they really working on in therapy. For me - this is one of the many reasons why I do not give a therapist free rein. I think this idea is very condescending to clients.

I can see how this sounds condescending but I think it makes sense, at least for me. Like you might see a doctor for symptoms X and Y, but the symptoms are signs of what the disease is--the doctor doesn't just treat symptoms, they treat the disease.

I had kind of the same thing, I started seeking help because of a particular issue, but that issue was sort of the tip of the iceberg, and now I work on the iceberg.

[nyc artist]

Originally Posted by Salmon77

I said "other".

I can see how this sounds condescending but I think it makes sense, at least for me. Like you might see a doctor for symptoms X and Y, but the symptoms are signs of what the disease is--the doctor doesn't just treat symptoms, they treat the disease.

I had kind of the same thing, I started seeking help because of a particular issue, but that issue was sort of the tip of the iceberg, and now I work on the iceberg.

Wow...I have never thought of it this way. Thank you very much for that analogy!

[stopdog]

Originally Posted by nyc artist

There should be the option of "Yes, I know what I'm working on" , so I had to choose "other." Good poll though.
.

A pollster never pleases everyone - it is what the choice other is for

[stopdog]

Originally Posted by Salmon77

I said "other".

I can see how this sounds condescending but I think it makes sense, at least for me. Like you might see a doctor for symptoms X and Y, but the symptoms are signs of what the disease is--the doctor doesn't just treat symptoms, they treat the disease.

I had kind of the same thing, I started seeking help because of a particular issue, but that issue was sort of the tip of the iceberg, and now I work on the iceberg.

I probably would not (and I have in the past not let) an md treat more than what I wanted treated either - so it is very likely to me that I would use an ointment but refuse surgery.
Of course I don't see therapists as "treating anything" - so there is that as well for me. They don't get to make me be however they think I should be or how they think I want to be if it is not something I have expressly said I do.

[SoConfused623]

Very interesting poll, thanks!

My work in therapy includes the following:

Moving on from a very bad relationship. Trying to figure out exactly what type of relationship I'm looking for going forward and why I get attracted to the wrong men.

Managing career dissatisfaction and evaluating which new avenues I should explore or how to make my current career work better

Problems with a family relationship

Getting over the attachment issues I had with Blank Slate T

I'll admit that I'm in a good space right now and most of the above is not really as urgent as it was for the past couple of years, but I really like my new T and like learning about myself and why I make the choices I do and why i react to things that way I do.

[InnerPeace111]

I am in therapy to ease the symptoms of my depression and anxiety. I am doing this by slowly turning my life around completely and creating a holistic lifestyle for myself. I talk with my therapist about my progress with things like mindfulness, meditation, yoga, nutrition, exercise, spirituality, breathing / relaxation techniques, etc. It really is a beautiful transition to a beautiful way of life. My therapist is providing me with a supportive and encouraging space in which to accomplish this transition. I couldn't ask for more.

[Anastasia~]

I chose yes. I'm there for anxiety, depression, social anxiety, attachment issues, working through past things, and trying to learn to be kind to myself.

[Amyjay]

I answered other because I know what I am working on in therapy.
I am curious about why this was not one of the options since it is the only directly positive answer to the question that was asked.

[stopdog]

Because a pollster can never think of every possible answer someone might want to give.

[Amyjay]

"Yes, I know what I am working on in therapy" seems fairly obvious.

[stopdog]

That is why there is other -or one can avoid polls one does not like. Again - polls never seem to have answers for every answer someone might want.

[atisketatasket]

"yes - I think I do" seems perfectly adequate to me.

[Tried2long]

Yes. I go to get information about another client of his that is in my grief therapy group. My T is mush in my hands and I'm a good manipulator so I'd say I'm making progress.