The Couch 150: Ceci n'est pas un couch

I'm in, Daisy

Hopping in Daisy. Hope you are okay.

This is what my T and my teacher who is leaving tell me. I am in such GD turmoil. I don't kow what to do, and I don't see my T until after my meeting with my boss on Monday, when i have to already have a decision.

omg. i feel like i am losing my mind. this feels weirdly like a life and death thing, even though i know that it isn't.

I'm trying to not be a paranoid piece of **** but it ain't workin out.

Paranoia level: taking showers without the curtain pulled so I can see our

I am watching one of my favorite movies -
wet, hot, american summer.

I'm watching Inherit the Wind. Never seen it before.

Jumping in Daisy's pocket.

JDNA, can you distract? Maybe play a video game or cook?

I am watching youtube compilations of animals farting :-\

Just had an enjoyable weekend with my eldest D. We watched the Cornetto trilogy with Simon Pegg and Nick Frost.

Just learned a new word in this movie. Jactitation. And the meaning has apparently changed since 1960.

Turned out just to be a bad migraine. I'm really glad because I don't want to have to stop taking this medication.

Shirley, you jest!

OMG. we have a shared love!! One of my FAVORITE movies. Last Christmas, I showed it to my dad who had never seen it before, and I completely forgot about the telephone scene with Janeane (?) Garafalo...omg. I would use all the laugh-y emoji's right now, but I am showing restraint.

That was an awesome movie. Wow.

SD: I like to re-play the Paul Rudd scene where he throws a fit in the mess hall. It is my all-time favorite "go to" moves whenever I am upset. Whether real, or in my head

I may have performed it (at like 10% of his intense-ness) once for my T, because it just encapsulates SO MUCH.

That is more the zucker brothers humor - but I like their movies too

The phone the phone where's the ****ing phone...

One of my favorite scenes is the gay wedding in the lake

Hey! Way to ruin my terrible evening by making me laugh!

Oh yes, that is a great scene as well. I mean, there are SO MANY amazing one-liners...and just...I now feel a special bond towards you...hehehehe. (just joking)

Take a breathe - it will pass

haha. it is so hard to restrain myself sometimes.

I can't sleep (what else is new?) so I soothed myself by writing No. 2 a letter telling her exactly how she screwed up last November.

It was quite satisfying, so satisfying that I think if I mailed it I might be able to put her behind me.

I remember getting the advice on this forum, when I nearly did the same thing with my first therapist "it's not possible to disengage by re-engaging". I think it was good advice.
I would sleep on it (if you can) at least atat.

I wonder if it would help to ask how they imagine supporting you as you learn a new role? Will there be anyone to ask questions, give guidance, etc. or are you totally on your own? Having a mentor can make a huge difference in how capable you feel in a new position.

Perhaps, but I also think the circumstances between us are very different from yours with your previous therapist. And this letter if sent isn't a conversation-opener and I refuse to let it be one. It is a "this is how you screwed up, and go eff yourself" letter.

No. 3 talked to me about what happened. Smaug got her complaint, successful or not on appeal. Those feel closed off. No. 2 does not. And since she refused my request a few months ago for a session to talk things out, this is my only recourse. The only other one is to make a complaint and I'm tired of those.

I would make sure to direct the therapist not to contact me back

I would do the same. I don't think it's re-engaging if the letter says something like, "this is the final time I will contact you, please do not attempt to contact me in any way."