Betrayal... by someone you trust...or thought that you did...

I HATE.. sharing my T with my adult son... it is individual therapy.. not family therapy... to be completely separate..
I wanted my son to have help.. with his current situation with his girlfriend.. and with his ADHD.. and I knew he would click with my T..

Soooooo. I shared... didn't want to.. but felt.. love of my son comes first.. and he had tried a couple of T and did not click..

Soooooo.. last week.. I mentioned.. how angry I was that my son's mail still came to my home... it means that each and everytime he overdrawals his checking account.. I see the slip.. that comes from the bank.. can't mistake it.. and it makes me worry.. and I grow concerned..

well Magically... after All this time... my son.. changed it so the his checking account mail goes to his apartment..

Sooo... was it magical.... I don't think so.. so I feel betrayed.. I feel that a piece of information I gave my T.. was used "indirectly" to have my son change....heartbroken.. BETRAYED>>>>

What other information does.. he "indirectly" pass along.. my feelings.. my past.. my DX.. gezzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Am I happy I don't have to see it.. yes.. but that is NOT the point..

Does no one understand.. how upset I am???

[majella]

If your t did in fact tell your son about your feelings with regards to his bank statements coming to your home, then not only would I also regard it as a form of betrayal ... but I believe it is also a breach of your confidentiality.

Your t should definitely not share with your son, anything that you have talked to your t about unless he has your expressed permission to do so .... and vice versa about the things your son shares with this t too.

But before you get too angry about it, I would double check with your t that this is indeed what has happened here.

Anything could have happened in your son's life to make him change his mind about these bank statements coming to your house - it doesnt necessarily mean your t has told your son anything that you've said in your own therapy..... but yeah - I agree it is a bit suspect.

I urge you to check with your t about this ... and then take it from there depending on what he says.

[FloweringHope]

Freewill,

This would have really hurt me too - that is terrible.....my former T used to share with me all the meds his clients were on and the problems his receptionist was having.....I do understand....privacy is a must!

love to you

SSR <font color="blue"> </font>

[ECHOES]

Well you don't truly know how it came about that your son changed his address. Could be coincidence. Could be a result of his work in therapy and unrelated, especially if he's working on being more independent.

I would, for your own comfort, suspend your judgement on this until you can talk to T about it.

Having said that, yes I would feeling some betrayal of confidentiality.

[Perna]

I see why you're angry and I would call your T on it but I'd also imagine that the "problem" of your T not taking responsibility for his mail, regardless of your feelings about it, probably is what was discussed? I don't think your T mentioned you, but kept the whole thing on your son's responsibilities and paying bills, etc.? You gave him a way to help your son but I doubt your T mentioned you at all.

Think about it this way, if you and I had the same T and I were to mention to him you had a hard time with feeling he betrayed you, he might somehow help that issue come up when he saw you next but it has nothing to do with "me" because it is not my problem so I would not be mentioned at all. You don't have a problem with responsibility! :-) and so you wouldn't be part of the mail discussion other than it just happens your son's mail was coming to your house because he was too "lazy" to work to get it redirected to his own apartment. You would be a "thing" in the discussion, your house, not you personally and how angry his behavior made you feel; the T knows that's a discussion that should be between you and your son.

[Fuzzybear]

I understand.