[nottrustin]

.....2 weeks make.

Went to EMDR. I told her about what happened after our last appointment. She wished I had called her as she could have helped me or had me come in to see her depending on the situation. So that is good for future reference.

We worked on identifying and using my safe place. Then we started to deal with one of my issues. Holy crap how intense amd emotional. A couple of times I wanted to say stop
..but I made myself stay in that moment. When she checked in she checked in she was impressed I sayes in the moment since normally I shut down emotionally. She felt it was a good time to bring me to my safe place. It was amazing how I went from 1 place to another on such a short time. Normally I say I am okay but it is because I shut out the emotions...but not because I really felt like I was in a better place. Today I am in a better place.

[Mouse007]

Sometimes we do what we want with our emotions...yet its great to get help when the ptsd attacks you and you can't shut it out...so the safe place comes in handy...it will make sense eventually because we have to fight it back to feel better

[Out There]

That's good , EMDR is hard work but worth it and your T seems very sound.

[nottrustin]

Originally Posted by Out There

That's good , EMDR is hard work but worth it and your T seems very sound.

I do like her and she seems like she understands and really wants me to be in control. Not that other T doesn't but in this case it is important. The hard part is she often wants me to make choices like which topic are we going to deal with first. Fortunately long term T really knows me and is able to help me figure things out.

[Mouse007]

Yeah going from one therapist to another is hard...I have been through 4 so far...one moved away...yeah...eventually emdr worked... and the right therapist for your life works best

[Anastasia~]

This is so good to hear! I'm so glad that your EMDR T responded in a positive way to your concerns.

[happybread]

Originally Posted by nottrustin

I do like her and she seems like she understands and really wants me to be in control. Not that other T doesn't but in this case it is important. The hard part is she often wants me to make choices like which topic are we going to deal with first. Fortunately long term T really knows me and is able to help me figure things out.

Happy to hear that! It's not everyday (unfortunately) that we hear of such good progress being shared and that is just awesome.

2 weeks can indeed make a difference. Now imagine what can 4 weeks do? ;-)

Keep the faith yo!

[nottrustin]

Originally Posted by Mouse007

Yeah going from one therapist to another is hard...I have been through 4 so far...one moved away...yeah...eventually emdr worked... and the right therapist for your life works best

Fortunately I still have long term T. While new T is nice we haven't known each another long enough to have built trust. Long term T is there to help me with the emotions and processing of everything, knows if She should be governed about my safety and knows just because of I have unsafe thoughts, she knows that I would not act on them and if for whatever reason it were different she trusts that i would reach out to her. When new T ask questions like how do you deal with or feel emotions. I honestly didnt know because i block and disassociate feelings. So old T could help me know how to answer.

[Mouse007]

That's really interesting. I guess I don't disassociate feelings like you do.... However in my scenario, I had to disassociate the original or first trauma ....then when the second trauma hit me I had ptsd.... So, not knowing how you are experiencing your life, and since I am not a therapist... I really empathize with what you are going through only in the sense that starting over with another therapist is hard work but not impossible....each therapist helps another if its possible...by getting records or whatever they need to do....it never hurts to ask them to get the information from the old therapist...

[nottrustin]

Originally Posted by Mouse007

That's really interesting. I guess I don't disassociate feelings like you do.... However in my scenario, I had to disassociate the original or first trauma ....then when the second trauma hit me I had ptsd.... So, not knowing how you are experiencing your life, and since I am not a therapist... I really empathize with what you are going through only in the sense that starting over with another therapist is hard work but not impossible....each therapist helps another if its possible...by getting records or whatever they need to do....it never hurts to ask them to get the information from the old therapist...

I always thought I was feeling the emotions. I had trauma early on which hurt me. However, in therapy I have realized for the most part when I would start to actually feel the pain, I would stuff it all down and block it out. Over the years I became better at it to the point where I specifically remember a say when something painful happened I stated to cry and then I said to myself I will never allow somebody or someting to hurt me again. At that moment things really changed. Is 10ish years t has seen me start to crywhere my eye start to get misty, maybe, 5 times.

[Mouse007]

I still get mad about things after bottling up my reaction. Then I explode in pain somewhere by myself. So yes, therapy is good because we need to deal with the emotions and use them correctly or we just end up angry or sad all the time. I have to learn it all over again. Its like you can't feel emotions correctly until you do. That's what my life is like right now. People don't understand it. I don't know what its like for you but I appreciate your comments.