[Bipolarchic14]

I started seeing an APRN for my psych medication 8 months ago. I recently discovered I am Facebook friends with her son.(for over 5yrs) He was in my graduating class in high school. I discussed this with my therapist (not the APRN) and her reaction was disturbing. She said you should delete him right away. Her reason, I do not want my APRN looking at my Facebook page. I said I don't post my life on Facebook. She said I should still delete him. I know the real reason is they don't want you in their life outside of therapy. In general, I think they judge people with mental illness and I know there is the confidenciality issue. If I were facebook friends with her it would be a bigger issue. The thing that disturbs me is she did not come out with the real reason, she tried to make it seem fully beneficial to me. This was more harmful to me, whether she meant it to be or not. She did not even discuss the issue with confidentiality.
We have discussed this in the past when she avoids acknowledging me at the grocery store. No one knows her as being my therapist at a grocery store. I have run into her twice and she won't even say hi. She just looks at me horrified and then looks away. She has said both times that she felt awkward because she had not showered. First off, this is clearly a go to line. Secondly, her reaction makes me makes me feel even more uncomfortable, like I have done something wrong. I tell her so much about my life, her reaction in the grocery store is offensive as was her reaction to the Facebook incident.

Anyway having to (used loosly because I feel like I have a little control over this) delete him from facebook is causing mental havic because I feel like I am seperated from the rest of my graduating class by a restriction they do not have. Though I know millions of people have a mental illness, it does not help when I feel seperated and distanced from people already. This makes me feel ostrosized and in some ways shuned. I wanted to know how others would react. If you made it through my long post and have some wise advice to offer or just want to share a similar incident that would be great.

[Favorite Jeans]

You don't have to unfriend him. That's ridiculous advice IMHO. Mental illness is just a fact of life and not some bizarre shameful thing that requires you to keep everything secret. As long as you have good boundaries with your health professionals you can navigate some of slightly awkward occasions that come of sharing a small world with them.

I feel that your T is being very unfair. You are already existing friends with this person & I don't see why your T is being so defensive. As for her behaving & reacting the way she does when you see each other in the grocery store, is not only rude, but is very hurtful. She's 'allegedly' a 'professional' so if it were me, I'd ask her to re read her copy of her professional conduct book! You are right to feel as you do & id advise you to talk further with her about these issues & be perfectly honest about how 'she' makes you feel.

[ruh roh]

You should not have to delete your high school friend because your therapist is uncomfortable over this (and it is her issue). If she is so concerned about your privacy, tell her you blocked your friend's mom so she can't see your posts. You are probably right that she is more concerned about the aprn's privacy, but if she won't admit that, I would just address her stated concern if that's something that bothers you. Otherwise, I wouldn't even block the aprn and just tell your therapist you're really not concerned about the aprn seeing your posts and doubt that would happen anyway.

Your therapist's response would bother me a lot, including at the grocery store. They are supposed to take the client's cue, so if you acknowledge her and say hello, she should do the same, not act horrified and scurry away. How awful that she would rather make up a story about not showering (twice) than to say what she really thinks.

[InnerPeace111]

You do not have to delete him. It's not your issue. It's your therapist's issue. You can leave that for her to manage on her own.

[childofchaos831]

I som t think you should have to unfriend him. Bring itf up with the aprn. See what she thinks.

If it's as simple as her seeing your stiff you could add her to your block list. If she is uncomfortable with you knowingg things aboutf her family tho, that could be different.

I think because you actually know her son, and you knew him before you knew her, that it shouldn't be too big of an issue. You didn't friend him to get a look at her life. You already knew him. That is different.

[atisketatasket]

I don't think it's either the therapist or the aprn's business with whom you are friends on Facebook.

I would not have told the therapist--she clearly has issues already--and I would not tell the aprn.

[Trippin2.0]

Your therapist has issues, I seriously hope she is seeing someone.

Or maybe she's just extremely rude and needs to be taught some basic manners.

If it were me.... Next time we meet in the grocery store I would greet her loudly and ask how she's doing.

Don't block, delete, unfriend or alert anyone. You haven't done anything wrong.

I'm sorry you feel ostracized, distanced, and separated. That's one of the worse feelings...

I once read that some therapists go into the field to separate themselves from those who they treat. It's a mechanism to avoid feeling their own shame. Many of us have defenses against shame, but if true in her case, it's uncontrolled manifestations seem harmful for you.

Please ignore if not applicable. I am very upset with my T right now and am feeling ostracized myself.

[wheeler]

My T has very good and somewhat flexible boundaries. We live in a small community so we
Will run into each other so we have talked about what we're both comfortable with.

I own an ice cream shop that my T likes to frequent. We have discussed it and we are very comfortable how we navigate this unusual situation