[eclairparty98]

My therapy is based in a building full of therapists in each room. I started going last year and it went well. My therapist was wonderful, soft-spoken and super supportive. I stopped seeing her in November because I thought I was ''cured'' but around May, I had a terrible relapse.

They've since relocated to a different building and recently, I've been seeing a new therapist. I found out my ex-T is still working there and her office is right next to my new T's office.

I have a history of being irrationally paranoid and it can really hold me back from situations like this. I'm kind of dreading my next session for many reasons, this being one of them. Them working so close together gives me the impression that either my ex-T is listening in on everything next door OR they're sharing stories about me (not in the helpful, ethical, professional way).

Last session, as I left the room, her door was wide open and in my peripheral vision, I saw her sitting right there in her chair. I don't know, it all feels a little too much.

I'm not entirely sure why I have a problem with this, either. Both therapists are fine, it's just a little daunting for me for some reason. Any ideas???? I have a horrible gut feeling that I might bump into ex-T. Can't wrap my head around why this is.

[Travelinglady]

Hi! Might you be feeling a bit embarrassed because you stopped going and then had a relapse? Just a thought. I'd feel a bit awkward, too, but if they talk, and they might not, then realize it'd be to try to help you more.

My therapist and psychiatrist read each other's notes, since they work in the same office. I'm glad they do.

[SalingerEsme]

I have problems like this too, suddenly becoming suspicious of why my T asked me a question or worried that his family is socializing with my sibling's family etc. It is an issue of trust and not the greatest attachment skills stemming from trauma history. I used to react to these feelings strongly, but over time I have learned to observe them and be either curious about them, or let them go like as if they were a river. That feeling of paranoia is so persuasive and poisons the day. Sorry you are struggling with it. I would hate the situation you describe, and unless they are both ultra-professional, they might talk about you. Hopefully they do it with affection. You could tell your new T the deal, and stress you want your confidential repeated so you can trust? You could greet your old T, say hello etc so it lessens the flinch factor?

[Shazerac]

My advice is too to share these feelings with your new T. Being right next door to the old T would feel kind of weird, but if they are professional they wouldn't talk about you other than to hand your file over to the new T.

[eclairparty98]

Thanks for the responses, all - I appreciate it your insight. It's comforting to know I'm not the only one who'd find something like this a little weird or unsettling.

You're absolutely right, Travelinglady! We worked so well together for such a long time and had such a meaningful goodbye that it really felt like I didn't need to go back. Now here I am again requesting therapeutic help as if I hadn't learnt anything from our sessions. I really hope she isn't offended that I didn't specifically ask to see her or that I didn't take away anything beneficial from what she taught me.

Realistically, I guess it would make sense for them to share notes/pass files to get the most out of treatment etc... Thank you so much for the encouraging optimism

[eclairparty98]

Originally Posted by SalingerEsme

I have problems like this too, suddenly becoming suspicious of why my T asked me a question or worried that his family is socializing with my sibling's family etc. It is an issue of trust and not the greatest attachment skills stemming from trauma history. I used to react to these feelings strongly, but over time I have learned to observe them and be either curious about them, or let them go like as if they were a river. That feeling of paranoia is so persuasive and poisons the day. Sorry you are struggling with it. I would hate the situation you describe, and unless they are both ultra-professional, they might talk about you. Hopefully they do it with affection. You could tell your new T the deal, and stress you want your confidential repeated so you can trust? You could greet your old T, say hello etc so it lessens the flinch factor?

What a beautiful way of putting it, SalingerEsme Letting the toxic thoughts flow away, down the river...

I'm so sorry to hear that you're familiar with the struggle of paranoia and trust issues Though it's reassuring to meet someone who can relate. I perfectly understand everything you're saying, paranoid thoughts are poisonous beyond rational thought - you seem to be a lot better at dealing with this than me with your coping mechanisms as I'm still in the ''reacting to them strongly'' phase. It feels borderline impossible to be curious without getting into a panic so respect to you!!

[SalingerEsme]

After refusing to work on mindfulness bc it seemed like a cliche they are all pushing right now, T had me read Jon Kabat-Zinn, a person with whom he worked in hs training. The theory imagines strong feelings as a river running, and people choosing to stand on the river bank and watch feelings move fast like white water or slowly pass like a lazy stream. This sometimes helps me. I was a resistant PIA first , but now I try to kick some distance between feelings and reactions with JKZinn.