[nottrustin]

I decided I would tell t about drinking before the last appointment in person at today's appointment. I had been stressing about it all week and had a few sleepless nights. I waa bee nervous when I sat down and we did a quick check in. Part of my stress is that I know she doesn't specialize in addiction. She doesn't feel I have an addiction just a bad coping skill. That has the potential to become an addiction. So we are working on it. If she felt it became an addiction she would have to refer me to somebody else. Anway, so O told her it happened she asked what had been going on at that time. I explained what had me so stressed out. She told me O couldn't drink before an appointment then she wants me to cancel. She said there is no therapeutic benefit if I had been drinking. I told I knee that and realized that as soon as I took that drink. She told me years ago she found out a client had been drinking before every appointment and she had to refer her to somebody else. Then we moved on to something else. Later I mentioned being surprised ahe didn't know something was off. It aeemed like it should have been obvious. She said if I was intoxicated ahe would but because I wasn't intoxicated and my expressions, body language van be so different based on my mood it would be hard to tell.

[UpDownAround]

I just left my T a phone message asking her to have me check in at the beginning of appointments from now on because I am not going to meetings where it is asked/tracked. So I want to make sure I am accountable to someone that I have no reason to lie to. I knew I had this as an issue, so I looked for expertise in mood disorders and substance abuse. Interestingly enough, she said the same thing about coping skills; she thinks if I have better coping skills for my mood swings (bipolar), then the substance abuse will not be a problem. She is not addressing it as a going forward issue right now. I am two and a half months clean and sober and not really having too many urges and the ones I have had were pretty easy to resist.

Originally Posted by UpDownAround

I just left my T a phone message asking her to have me check in at the beginning of appointments from now on because I am not going to meetings where it is asked/tracked. So I want to make sure I am accountable to someone that I have no reason to lie to. I knew I had this as an issue, so I looked for expertise in mood disorders and substance abuse. Interestingly enough, she said the same thing about coping skills; she thinks if I have better coping skills for my mood swings (bipolar), then the substance abuse will not be a problem. She is not addressing it as a going forward issue right now. I am two and a half months clean and sober and not really having too many urges and the ones I have had were pretty easy to resist.

Well done for the last 2 & half months. That's really awesome. Please be proud.

[nottrustin]

[QUOTE=UpDownAround;5814315]I just left my T a phone message asking her to have me check in at the beginning of appointments from now on because I am not going to meetings where it is asked/tracked. So I want to make sure I am accountable to someone that I have no reason to lie to. I knew I had this as an issue, so I looked for expertise in mood disorders and substance abuse. Interestingly enough, she said the same thing about coping skills; she thinks if I have better coping skills for my mood swings (bipolar), then the substance abuse will not be a problem. She is not addressing it as a going forward issue right now. I am two and a half months clean and sober and not really having too many urges and the ones I have had were pretty easy to resist.[

That is awesome congrats. We know I over drink in order to get rid of negative thoughts or I am really stressed. I can go periods of no alcohol then something gets triggered and I turn to alcohol. Right now the plan os not to never drink but go back to how I have been most of my adult life...a social drinker. This drinking to cope has only been am issues for about a year or so by not even steady at that.

[UpDownAround]

Originally Posted by nottrustin

That is awesome congrats. We know I over drink in order to get rid of negative thoughts or I am really stressed. I can go periods of no alcohol then something gets triggered and I turn to alcohol. Right now the plan os not to never drink but go back to how I have been most of my adult life...a social drinker. This drinking to cope has only been am issues for about a year or so by not even steady at that.

Thanks. There is some research saying that returning to drinking socially has a higher success rate, but I think my history of trying that has resulted in enough problems that abstinence is probably the best answer. I would suggest you look at Moderation Management to help you return to responsible social drinking.

What happens with me is that after a decent period of abstinence, I decide that I can handle it again. I start out doing the responsible social thing and it quickly escalates to the self medicating level. A big issue for me is social awkwardness; I don't have much of a social life.