Couch 155: The International Operator

Way to go Art!

Congrats Artie! I hope you love it (and no incoming calls to boot!!)

I'm still this uncomfortable combination of bemused and enraged over the phone call (along with the tacky power move of missing the appointment time and casually calling back an hour later with no explanation). Trying to settle myself and get into sleeping-soon-mode. It isn't going well.

I want to put everything down and go live on a commune or something.

Huh, I know reading r/psychotherapy is bad for me yet I keep being drawn to reading it.

Have you ever had a client ask to audio record?

Guess they're concerned about liability etc. Honestly, I prefer recorded audio to notes. Because like me and some others have mentioned in threads on PC, we can re hear and clarify stuff especially if our brain is suspicious and distorts our therapist's words and tone to sinister stuff.

Now you’ve got me reading with you.

Eta: and in less than five minutes on another thread I find a post saying “I don’t learn things from clients that are ‘wise.’” I could say the same about therapists.

The OP sounds....inexperienced

What gave it away? The capital letters? The illogical thought processes?

Eta: they have threads about songs that remind them of clients? I thought that was OUR turf.

Not sure haha. Probably a combination of stuff together with the strong feeling I got like he's scared his client has sinister intentions.

Seriously most of us who record do so due to memory issues like dissociation, wanting to NOT mistrust the therapist...and we bloody effing know the audio record being revealed is FAR WORSE for us than the dang therapist because it's our private stuff being aired and we're at a power disadvantage as the client. Somehow the sense I get that the poster is SCARED of the client really irritates me.

Yeah, that place sometimes feels like a circle jerk of therapists congratulating themselves for how they handle "difficult" clients.

Yet I still read it lol. I like learning how some of them think.

I am in the middle of a stupid panic attack and can't calm myself. It went badly at my D's day program review, the voices went off and haven't shut up. I want to text my T to see if he has any suggestions but thats breaking the no therapy by text rule. I seriously am unsettled by his lack of presence yesterday. I don't know.

I'm reading forums about kitchen design. The budgets are large and in some cases extreme. A faucet costs more than all my cabinets will. I'm not trying to keep it bog standard or builder basic, but I'm also not putting $40k in natural stone or professional appliances either. Maybe I better stick to Pinterest DIY posts?

((Hugs))

Well, it's clear enough what he wants, anyway. That's show business!

Well that fixed that I could not press the send button on my phone. I almost gave up then it worked now I am panicking becausee I sent it.

Hey Granite! Good to see you!

Seriously I am shaking and can hardly move.

It's a strange therapist who doesn't understand alienation...

should I see my doctor?

Would medication work?

It might. Do you have benzodiazepines?

Would it help to say something like this?

No I am only allowed 10 tabs at a time.

Damn *hugs*

Now even more depressed and panicky as the mechanic who has had my car since early August and is looking for an engine has still not found one despite stating in the email that cars have been advertised on FB relatively cheap. I am now seriously considering getting my superannuation on hardship and buying a used car.

Hi everyone,
I need to ask you all something. I know that typically this is a pro med site but I need to ask this. Is there anyone who feels that after years of trying and getting off, they are worse than before meds but better than on meds? I really feel like any ambition/motivation has been destroyed? At least before meds I had something in the way of motivation/ambition. I’m starting to question the validity of my ever needing meds? Most of my symptoms worsened on meds compared with what they were before meds. I dont know I feel defective like. Any input would be greatly appreciated. Thanks.