Couch 155: The International Operator

I know I’m late to this (because NyQuil) but I read the psychotherapy reddit all the time. It helps me to remember that they’re imperfect humans just like we are. Also still flirting with the idea of going back to school to be an LCSW, but will probably go for school psychology.

My heart is vibrating since yesterday. Should I worry?

I texted to ask what ti do about the panic attacks then sent another text asking if I should see my doctor and because I feel like I am
overly annoying I sent one saying I was sorry. I feel like an idiot

I would get it checked out just in case. Don't be worried just cautious.

I am at my Ds school and this guy is sitting opposite my car and just staring.

Uh that's creepy. Sorry to hear about the panic attack. They suck. Anything we can do to help? Feel hugged if you want...

Art: very well done! Congratulations!

I have been distracting myself by playing my game but it is frozen just after I reached level 145 so now I am trying fix it. I don't know what anyone can do,

Oh god I need to stop effing crying at work due to feelings about T. I have a presentation in an hour

Hugs... I'm sorry your T betrayed your trust. I'm here if you want to talk about it

((((QM))))

I shouldn't watch Escape to the Country, it just reminds me I probably will never visit the UK let alone live there

My boss texted me 45 minutes early so I asked him for 5 minutes while I went to compose myself. I'm not upset now but it's like my child part is threatening to burst into tears while the rest of me is trying to remain composed.

Luckily he (he's a C-level) and others don't seem to notice a thing. Waiting on another C-level for another related presentation.

It's not really that she betrayed my trust but couldn't she have told me she was going overseas? Rather than letting me think it's a work thing.

Hugs... How would you call it?
I'd probably be hurt too...

I miss T, but I don't want to see him... to bother him.

capt, has T explicitly actually said the words 'No, you may not contact me outside sessions under any circumstance'? I think he would want to know about the level of pain you seem to be in.

I feel she's afraid of my attachment to her. That I'm a monster like she's too afraid to share such a basic thing.

ETA: presentations went alright. Have to get updates from certain people before this is presented to the whole department

Please see your T *hugs* don't torture yourself

I don't think you're bothering him. I hope you can see him soon.

He says I'm allowed to contact him in case of emergency. It's not an emergency.
And he knows I'm in pain

Oh dear, capt....if you have been rehearsing your plans, then I would class that as an emergency. You deserve support, more than you know.

Hugs... I know that so well...


Believe me when I tell you; it is. You're not bothering your T. Your T wants you to help you feel better. He's there to listen to your pains a 10000000 times if necessary.

He says some clients call him when having a panic attack. They consider it as an emergency... He says MV (the clinic's owner; clients can't call T directrly so they call the office) isn't happy about it. But he also says she likes me, so she would be fine with me calling.

He's there to listen to my pain during my hour. I pay him only for this hour.

Welll... Panic attacks to feel pretty bad and yes, sometimes they do feel like dying too. I understand people considering that an emergency, and I'm sure MV does too - Maybe just not if it's something they start doing for every panic attack.

Also, no... I think most T's have a fee for emergency phone calls etc. included in their hourly fee... You could ask him about that

I have no idea what to tell him on Friday.
"I'm fine. I don't deserve therapy. How are you?"

Well, I know he blames himself for not helping me, so I'm going to tell him how great he is. Again. I want him to believe me.