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#1
Oct 12, 2007, 05:55 PM
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I never had proper therapy before. I was just wondering if anyone else who has been sexsually abused as a child is or has been through therapy and gets overwhelming urges for maternal love. My mother emotionally abused me, her lover sexually abused me, they did it in front of me several times as I was growing up. I feel like I have a lot of the feelings I had when I was growing up, insecurity, worthlessness, and I crave a 'mums' love. I never really had that from her and I have asked her for some space now, I am not ready to sort things out with her as she is in denial, but now she is giving me this space I just need her so badly. I know it sound stupid because she was so cruel. Is this normal? My t says it's a good idea to have this time apart, until I can bring these issues up with her. I even go to bed and suck my thumb sometimes which is pathetic I am 42 years old!!!!! I stopped sucking my thumb when I was about 5.
I feel so confused right now. Jinnyann xoxoxo |
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#2
Oct 12, 2007, 06:27 PM
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(((((((((Jinnyann)))))))))))
I am sorry your feeling like this, I was sexually abused as a child by my father and two brothers. My mom knew and did nothing even when I went to her, once she yelled at me and told me it was I who was making them do this, that was it I never went to anyone ever again. I had a relationship with mom, at times great, at times really bad. But I buried all this so deep, that it never hit me that she should of and could of stopped it. It wasn't until she died that everything surfaced, and I am now facing it. I don't have the maternal desires you have for someone to be mom, or act like mom for me, for me it is the fatherly figure I keep searching for!!! I married a man older then I, and I think that was because I was looking for that fatherly figure that I never ever had........so yes I can relate to what is happening with you.........hugs............to you |
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#3
Oct 12, 2007, 06:40 PM
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(((Jinny)))
It sounds like you are developing a wonderful relationship with your T. I think of my T as mom, even though he is a he!!! The therapeutic relationship brings up these feelings of love and I think that this is a sign that you and T are forging a bond. So, the longing has always been there, it's just coming to the surface now. Keep going. Stay the course. Peace & Love
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