Do you actively seek to bond to the therapist?

From what I understand connecting with others is one of the natural human needs. I'm not sure how exactly bonding in therapeutic relationship would be described. And I also don't think people always consciously seek it out.

This one gets a double ack from me. No, I never wanted to bond with the therapist. I was aghast that I did with RoboT. I actively hated that I did.

Now, I’m finding that I do have to have some bare minimum of rapport in order to work with someone. The last therapist I saw annoyed me tremendously, so that’s part of the reason I won’t be going back.

Definitely don’t want to bone with them either. I’ve never had an attractive enough therapist to even entertain the thought.

No, I only need to feel comfortable with them. Like I need to feel "good vibes" from them. For example I never felt these good vibes with my previous one, when I first saw her. So I was anxious or on edge with her. So I think I need to have a first good impression. Then I think if there is this element, the bond will happen on its own, if one feels comfortable.

By bond I don't mean that I see the T as friend, or that I want to know them more etc...I don't want to know how is my therapist outside of therapy, nope. It's too weird to imagine the T outside the office xD By bond I mean the therapeutic relationship, based on trust, feeling comfortable, seeing the T as safe.

Also I think the presence of the bond depends on the type of therapy. CBT therapists work less with the therapeutic relationship, mine for example never adressed transference etc, while psychodinamic and other "deep therapies" for example think that the relationship with the client is important.

I didn't intend to bond with my therapist, but I did. :/

She's literally the only safe, supportive person I meet face-to-face in my life. My partner and I are extremely long distance.

I thought of the question because people have posted things like they do X to bond/feel closer to the therapist or they ask/want the therapist to do Y so they will feel closer to the therapist.

Lol!

I do actively try to bond with my therapist. I'm a big Irvin Yalom fan so I believe it's the therapeutic relationship that heals.

Ultimately, I think it depends on your therapeutic goals and the type of therapy you're in. I'm trying to work on attachment issues so I have to securely attach to my therapist in order to learn everything secure attachment teaches a person.

My take on therapy is that it's basically an opportunity to recreate that early attachment relationship, this time in a healthy manner. It's essentially a do-over.

But for people who are working on other issues, bonding with the therapist may not be necessary.

I don't believe I have actively sought to bond with R, but it has ended up happening. However, I am keenly aware of keeping the relationship professional. I endeavour to only email when there is something here [holds hand a little distance in front of face]

That said, I look forward to our sessions as an opportunity to be open about things that would otherwise go unspoken.

I also try to bond with my T.
And I have to say that when we're really mentally connected or we're talking about our relationship I feel much better (in general) - more relaxed, safe, happier, calm - even outside of the T's room.
It's difficult for me because generally I'm really independent and this closer relationship really scares me. Especially that someone can be important to me when I'm only a client
On the other hand, when this bond happens - it's much better! So I started to try harder

I'm not sure what does it mean "actively seek".
For now, I just try to focus on this relationship during the whole week (from time to time, not all the time :P), I talk to T. about my dreams related to therapy, and we talk about what I feel in this relationship. I try to make T an important person for me, a person I can miss etc.

For me it seems to be really healing.

I actively tried NOT to, sadly it happened and it's awful...but not anything I can really stop

Sometimes I want to feel close to the therapist. When I Luuurve him.

Then I come to my senses and haven't the slightest ****ing idea why I'd ever even like the man.

Not that there's any kind of push-pull dynamic there or anything weird like that. I definitely don't have intimacy issues.

Yes, I am actively seeking a bond with my therapist.
My relationship with him is as much a part of the therapy that I'm doing as the things we talk about. Part of my therapy is experiential - experiencing a safe, stable connection with someone who does not abandon me when I am in need. Having that safe person be there for me as I crack open the traumas from my past, which plunges me back into the experiences as if they are happening again -- I just can't help it -- that's what happens when I think of them at all.

When I first began therapy years ago, the last thing I wanted to do was bond with my T! I thought therapy was just about getting advice. But it happened pretty quickly, and I kept trying to deny that I cared about my T.

With other T's, I don't think I actively sought to bond, but apparently that is my pattern, so I did bond.

My current T encourages the bond because she thinks it's necessary to heal my attachment issues. In any case, I liked her from Day 1, so it was a natural occurrence. I need deep connections with others. If I didn't feel that bonding, I probably wouldn't have felt comfortable talking about some of my issues.

It may in some ways be easier to tell a "stranger" embarrassing or difficult things, but then you don't go very deep, in my opinion.

I have had quite a few therapist in the past and have never actively sought out to bond to any of them. Until five years ago, I didn't know there was such a thing as bonding with a therapist.

I have only bonded with one therapist and that was because the transference was extremely strong.

The two standby therapist that I have had in the last two years, I have not bonded with, though I like them okay.

I think I have to, at least to some extent. Otherwise, I can't share all the really deep stuff.
If I don't bond, I just play them because I don't dare to let my guards down.

I'm not sure that I actively tried to bond. But it happened organically. I don't think I would be getting as much from therapy as I am if we weren't bonded. I need to know she cares about me, and I don't think I would feel secure in that if I didn't feel a bond.

Yes - my primary criteria when choosing a therapist is gauging whether they are relationship-oriented and whether I feel like they and I would be able to form some sort of connection on a deeper level than just therapist/client.

While having a need to bond is not the reason why I am in therapy, I need to have a connection and feel personally bonded to my therapist in order to work with them effectively on the issues that I am in therapy for.