Overwhelmed and depressed

I came back from visiting my family and was very upset with some situations there. I don't want to give details. I have a pattern of saying sarcastic things and getting my family angry with me. There will be on going difficult things to deal with in my life. I feel like I can't cope!!

I emailed T that I don't even know how I will talk to her, that I "messed up", and I need her help. She offered to connect by phone before tomorrow (I called Monday) but I didn't do that. I'm so depressed and overwhelmed. There's nothing life threatening, though potentially could be. I wish I could spill it all out here.

I think its a cop-out to say you "have a pattern" - there are probably some underlying feelings you havent dealt with, then they do tend to slip out in horrible ways. IME.

I agree with you. I react badly and that makes me feel worse.

Rainbow, you can "spill" to me, if you like. --Cool

By all means talk all you want here we're happy to listen.

I have a question though. You say you have a pattern of sarcasm? Is this all the time? Or just when you're with family. Using sarcasm is sometimes a subconscious passive aggressive behavior that is hiding unresolved anger and other issues. I used to be a really sarcastic person. But as I worked on my underlying issues that habit gradually resolved on its own.

Thanks, CL. I appreciate that. I'm just wary of posting identifying information in case anyone would figure out who I am.

Thanks, Shazerac. Like I said, I'm not comfortable with posting personal information about my family and I don't know how to generalize it.

I know I'm angry and frustrated with this situation but I know everyone is trying very hard and dealing okay. I have different ways of doing things and I try not to criticize but I do. I was very tired and don't know if it's sarcasm or bitterness. Also anxiety about the whole situation.

I'm not sure what my T can say to help. I don't feel like painting or even singing. I have loads of clothes to put away and mail to organize. My "To do" list is endless!

A big part of my depression is also that I feel ignored by my family. This isn't a new feeling. I think it's my fault. I play with the kids and help with laundry and cleaning up as much as I can when I'm there but I feel like I'm in the way.

My session on Wednesday didn't help too much. I did get an insight about my acting as though my grandchildren are my peers, and feeling rejected when they're not interested in me. T told me they're just kids, and I'm an adult. She also said I am my own person. I don't have to change my whole life for my family.

I'm getting confused and frustrated with the T relationship. I'm starting another thread.