[lucozader]

I did it. I left him.

I feel very sad and very self-destructive. Why is that always my go-to thing? "Feeling sad? Why not f*** yourself up, that'll help!"... I'm safe. It's just a feeling these days, mostly.

His hands were dirty from fixing his bike and he was wearing my favourite turquoise socks. His voice was kind of gravelly from a cold.

He said "I'm going to miss working with you" and I said "is that the same as saying you'll miss me?"... he said yes.

He said I could come back if I ever needed to.

He asked if I was seeing another therapist and if they were good for me... it was almost funny how much he sounded like a jealous (ex) boyfriend.

Okay, that's it, that's all I have to say for now.

It's done, it's over. I left.

[captgut]

Well done, Luc. You're very brave.

I don't have much to say...
Take a rest. Breathe. Take care.
We're always here if you want to talk.

[kecanoe]

Hugs. I left a T who was making things worse, and it pretty much sucks.

[lucozader]

He was so beautiful today. The most beautiful person. I'm glad I made myself look at him, but it was so painful.

[LostOnTheTrail]

Thanks for the prompt update, Luc. Been thinking of you. Please take care of yourself.

[anais_anais]

((Luc))

[captgut]

Originally Posted by lucozader

He was so beautiful today. The most beautiful person. I'm glad I made myself look at him, but it was so painful.

My t is so beautiful that I can't stand it. I'm not in love with him... but I can't even imagine leaving him.

I admire you.

[Out There]

(( luc )).

[Lemoncake]

Originally Posted by lucozader

I did it. I left him.

I feel very sad and very self-destructive. Why is that always my go-to thing? "Feeling sad? Why not f*** yourself up, that'll help!"... I'm safe. It's just a feeling these days, mostly.

His hands were dirty from fixing his bike and he was wearing my favourite turquoise socks. His voice was kind of gravelly from a cold.

He said "I'm going to miss working with you" and I said "is that the same as saying you'll miss me?"... he said yes.

He said I could come back if I ever needed to.

He asked if I was seeing another therapist and if they were good for me... it was almost funny how much he sounded like a jealous (ex) boyfriend.

Okay, that's it, that's all I have to say for now.

It's done, it's over. I left.

We're here if you need to talk.

[satsuma]

I think you are very brave.

[ruh roh]

Thanks for the update. This takes a lot of guts--yay you!

[toomanycats]

Ah, Luc
My heart breaks for you.
Keep breathing. One breath at a time. One heartbeat at a time.

I know I already showed you this luc, but just to remind you, and ruh roh and others, here are the words of ruh roh which so helped me:

You have done one of the hardest things I have seen someone in therapy do--leave a toxic therapy situation in search of a healthy one, and finding it. I can't help but think how this can only make you a better therapist than so many who never experience the whole roller coaster ride, including what good therapy looks like.

It's my very real wish for you that this new relationship works out. You really deserve it.

[Myrto]

That's really brave. I was never able to leave my ex therapist even when I knew it was no longer therapeutic so I'm incredibly impressed by your decision. Obviously your therapist wasn't helping you. I understand it's painful. I know it seems impossible right now but it will pass, it will get better.

[lucozader]

Thanks, everyone. It's amazing to have you guys to talk to. People in the 'outside world' are pretty unlikely to understand. But you do.

I'm really going to miss the elephant cushions.

[Spangle]

It just goes to show Luco, that you are both strong & resilient. You’ve done something incredibly hard & are still being positive. Way to go you!

[lucozader]

I found my new T's facebook page and the only thing it has on it is a picture of a lizard.

So... yeah, seems like my kinda guy.

I'm seeing your strength and resilience too, Luco. And commend you for doing what you needed to do for you. You did something that was so very difficult and I know I don't 'know' you in real life but I feel so proud of you today. I think you are amazing.

Way to go!

Let us know how you are doing.

[Argonautomobile]

Hang in there, Luc. I know this is very difficult

[growlycat]

What a difficult thing to do- hoping you are ok!!! Yes please pm if you need to.

[Argonautomobile]

Originally Posted by growlycat

please pm if you need to.

Ditto. We're here for you in whatever way we can be.

[TeaVicar?]

Well done luc. I hope your new t looks after you better. I'm very impressed by your bravery. [Insert hearts and flowers and gin (if ok and needed)] xx

Grieve all you need, Luco.

[lucozader]

Thanks so much everyone. I love you guys.

I feel okay today. Just kinda sleepy and sad.