[onyx69000]

its been awhile since i have been to a t . not really sure why affraid if issues i need to deal with am i really making a big deal out of nothing(how my parents make me feel) OR IS THIS REAL do i matter enough to get help. for awhile i thought i was really doing quite fine. hoplding the house down taking care of three kids doing the church thing. but now im mad at god i have not gone to church in a few months i feel all people well not all most people are fake. no comments needed please. i feel sad most of the time. and sometimes i feel almost high which i so wierd for me im the depressed girl like all of my life. lots of issues but are they relavent to how i feel on the inside and how i respond on the out side, we all have episodes or thing that happen to us that can and might almost change us at our verry soul. i feel changed. i have made mistakes. i have sinned i have love and lost and lost some more. i ahve been taken advantage of. theres no end to how i feel ive been wronged but i step up and shake it off and file it away. do i really need to stir all this %#@&#! up so i can feel like an entire person?-onyx

[ECHOES]

(( onyx ))

You sure do matter!! And I do think that you do want to 'feel like an entire person', but you're feeling scared about it.

It sounds like you're uncomfortable with your feelings and you want to feel better. T will help you with that.

[Fuzzybear]

(((((((((( onyx ))))))))))

[Christina86]

((((((((((onyx69000)))))))))))))

a good chunk of therapy is going through all the crap in the past (unfortunately). You matter enough to get help if you want help. You are important.

[onyx69000]

thank you for the nice words. i guess it wouldn't or couldn't hurt to go back i have not seen her the t in about 1 yr. we would just talk and she would sit so far away. i don't know i think my marriage could benfit from this i have very bad parinoia. most about him cheeting on me. funny thing is he never would. it was all those other guys who i would get close to who would. never very close to my father he worked alot i guess to keep us afloat. but even to day i mean i don't call him by his first name or anything i call him dad. he's my orig. dad. my parents were pretty cool when i was acting good they let my bff move in because her mother was going through rehab. they couldn't be all that bad to take in another mouth to feed. im off the point sorry i think i will call her tomorrow and see how long it is to get in. have a good rest of the weekend girls.-onyx

[ECHOES]

sounds like your leaning towards going back. good to hear. it sounds like you want to feel better and that''s a good thing to want!

one of my favorite links here: http://www.guidetopsychology.com and while I don't agree 100% with everything he says, I like the question and answer section. And in that Q & A section he talks about our childhood and that we can have unresolved issues and unmet needs even if we had good loving parents.

[dreamrunner]

I think that therapy is a tough thing you have to commit to.Im sure it would help with the things you mentioned.

I think you deserve to see a T if youve got things to work on.

Wishing you all the best....take care of yourself

[MissCharlotte]

((Onyx))

I hope you allow yourself to talk to a T. It can open up a whole new view of life. You and your feelings do matter!! Taking care of a family is huge and I have had times when I felt mad at God also.

Allow yourself therapy!

Peace and Love