Couch 156: The Clock Strikes...

((Luc))

Good Morning All! Coffee and Conchas on me

What happened?
Don't answer if you don't want to, just relax here on the couch, we have cushions, tea, chocolate and love

(8 characters)

Kid's got an unexpected day off because of rain and flooding. Generally, I am on with days off.. but h has been gone for a week, and it's been just me.. starting to get a little overwhelmed!

Your feelings are valid. You are not bad. Even if you believe you're bad *hugs*

I should sleep but too awake. Reading this survivor of abuse blog where conservative fundamentalist Christianity blamed them and enabled their abuse.

Guess T is going to have to read lots of quoted blog posts again. I hope she won't be offended because she's Christian. I haven't been able to say any of all this aloud even after 55+ sessions because it feels like she's defensive of Christianity. Could just be me being all triggery though because whenever I've tried saying "my parents used Christianity to abuse me" to people, I get told "They weren't real Christians"

I know I'm prejudiced. I'm working on it and I don't show my prejudice. But it's there. This fear.

I've never had one of those before... it looks delicious...

Just... missing T1, a lot, got a migraine, things with my partner are really bad and something happened on Saturday night that has really upset me, and I want to talk to T1 about it and I can't... of course. Feeling bad about T2, really bad, pretty sure he thinks I'm an idiot, and I think I'm an idiot too.

((Couch)) I'll just stay here with you guys today.

No Luc, T1 is the idiot. Seriously

QM, I don't see you as being prejudiced. If you were really prejudiced you wouldn't be seeing a Christian T in the first place. You obviously understand that not all Christians are abusive, but you can't help your fear. I think it's very brave of you to bring this up with your T, and I hope it goes well.

Yeah, he is, isn't he...?

Did I ever tell you about the time he claimed to be "very theoretically knowledged"?

I second this. He's almost like my pdoc.

WOAH... harsh!

OHH, I'm sooooo sorry luc, that sooooooooo wasn't my intention

Truth hurts sometimes. This whole conversation gave me the idea of inviting people to critique other posters’ therapists, but our relationships with them are so complicated. I fear that inevitably someone would get upset, and that’s not what I want to do.

((Luc))

You can stay here on the couch with us all day!

And, no, you're not an idiot. Not even a little bit.

Hugs, sorry you're having a rough time.

T SEEMS bloody clueless about systemic oppression (conservative religious people, most predominantly Christian have a long history of being shyt to LGBTQ folks in my country) and defensive of Christianity but I'm really hoping that's just my wrong perceptions and that she's not actually like that.

And I have met a lot of conservative Christians in my country who are extremely extremely right wing cos I was raised that way. Like the kind who "forgives" CSA, blames rape/molest victims, pro-forced-birth, anti welfare, believes in conversion therapy, "LGBTQ sexuality is abomination"...

I'm certain T isn't like that but my father is like that, my mother is like that, I was raised in an entire subculture like that. And my church is well regarded in my country... lots of members. One can argue my parents took their faith too far but I really did spend more than 20 years of my life believing what they did to me was justified by scripture...(Christians taught me otherwise! )

Also Luc, you're not an idiot *hugs*

I must say, thats a wonderful expression. I realize hes trying to say "book-smart", which my brother often insults me with :shrug: I would loooove for trump to tweet that.

Thanks, QM

...and yes, that's what I mean when I say you can't help your fear. You have very good reasons to be afraid. But I don't think you are prejudiced - you seem to be looking at this quite rationally.

I really hope your T isn't as clueless and defensive as you think she is... that would be pretty terrible...

OMG it totally sounds like a Trump tweet

I hope T will be understanding. In a job I was in, I got rape threats and graphic rape jokes... (still can't tell T verbally, have only written about it to her) by the boss who was vocally Christian.

Close to 10 months of that just because I said he was immature for being downright gleeful that his fiancee wouldn't be able to refuse sex after their marriage. (The denomination I was raised in doesn't see marital rape as wrong. It's also still legal in my country, even if you're a married minor.)

I've brought an apple cider doughnut for you Luc. They're a Fall specialty here. Screw that pumpkin flavored crap.

Me I am finally feeling much better. I sent out apology/thanks-for-your-patience emails this morning to all the work colleagues I blew off while I was too depressed to function. I don't want to feel better because I met someone, I want it to be because I hauled myself out on my own.... but that's how it is. I'll see him again tomorrow. He suggested Pixar films and wine. Trying not to get ahead of myself.

My description of him passed the M-test this morning, which was basically a dad-test, but I have no dad to do that and we all know M's been picking up the slack.

But then I have rehearsal all week with Maestro Exuberence and the sexually inappropriate concertmaster. Oy oy oy oy oy.

I'm so glad you're doing so well, Anais

Thanks for the doughnut. It sounds amazing...

omgggg I need more apple cider donuts STAT!

Also, hi.

There’s a place here that does apple cider doughnuts. They’re so delicious