[WarmFuzzySocks]

She wants to try EMDR and some imagery work with me, based on what I've been working on in my last sessions. I agreed and I am open to it, but I'm not sure how I feel about it, or what I think.

She was kind of sideways soft-suggesting it a year ago, and I was curious but not interested enough...not ready...to follow up.

I've already read about it a little.
She did share that not only has she used EMDR with patients, she also has done EMDR with her own therapist.

I think the work I've been doing lately is so close to overwhelming that I am a little scared of it, but at the same time it would be a relief to just let some of this go, and she thinks that's what it would help me with.

Have you tried it? Was it helpful, not helpful? Any thoughts?

[zoiecat]

I've been doing EMDR on and off for the past 10 months. We've been consistently working on one particular trauma from college now for about the past 3 months and I do see that I am making some progress. My therapist says that EMDR should always help anyone with trauma but the length of time it will take to work is dependent on many variables. The more complex trauma you've had in the past, the length of years you've had the trauma, whether or not you dissociate, and the skill of the therapist are all factors.

I have DID and I'm working with multiple types of constant trauma for the first 20 years of my life. This complicates matters that doesn't mean it can't be done it just means there's a lot more work to do and the DID requires us to go slowly because the brain stops processing through EMDR when you dissociate. I'm am lucky that my therapist has enough experience with DID and EMDR that he can use different techniques to keep me grounded and lessen my dissociation while processing.

To answer your question will EMDR work yes probably but it is not a quick or easy process depending on your background and situation. You have to be prepared for it to bring out all kinds of crap from the past and in the beginning you will feel worse then when you started but as you continue to work through it things will improve. I must say that face with the alternative of EMDR or prolonged exposure therapy from the way my therapist describes it I would choose EMDR any day.

The goal of EMDR is so that you will once and for all be over your past. It will not make you forget the past but it will allow you to accept it as any other normal memory without the flashbacks and the bad feelings and the negative thoughts that you associate with your trauma now. You will be able to eventually say yes that's something that happened it wasn't the happiest memory but I'm okay with it.

One nice thing about EMDR is that you always remain in control you can always stop the session at any time you don't have to give specifics about what you remembering or experiencing as long as you're able to at least tell the therapist that things are changing. I usually spend one or two possibly three sessions now in a row doing EMDR and then we will do a couple talk therapy sessions in order to work through the feelings that I'm having at the time. He also throws in a couple sessions of CBT and DBT along the way. The ability to stay grounded and your coping skills are vital to the success of EMDR. I'm sure I will be much further along if I just trudged along doing EMDR every single session but like I said the nice thing about it is you remain in control you push yourself as hard as you want to depending on your level of tolerance. That is my experience anyway.

[Ididitmyway]

I haven't had it done on me, but I've heard other people say that it helped them a lot.

EMDR is specifically designed to help people resolve their trauma smoothly, without a crises/mental breakdown. As I said, for some people it is a very effective method of trauma work. However, it works only when the therapist really knows what she is doing. A therapist must be certified as EMDR practitioner in order to be allowed to practice it, otherwise they'll be operating outside of their scope of competence.

Ask your therapist if she is a certified EMDR practitioner and where she got her EMDR training from. You want to check that organization's website or call them and make sure she is on the list of their registered practitioners. Without checking her credentials first I wouldn't recommend doing it. Also, if I remember correctly, there are different levels of practitioners, from beginner to advanced. You may want to check all EMDR related info on EMDR institute website. It's the most credible EMDR training place I know of so far. Definitely, inform yourself first before moving forward with this.

[atisketatasket]

Is she EMDRIA-certified? Level 2 or above? Trained by Shapiro or one of her students? Have a decent amount of experience?

I tried it once with an expert in the field (No. 2)—who told me to always ask the questions above when considering it. It kind of backfired (didn’t shut down properly). I get the impression a lot of therapists offer it without being truly trained beyond a basic level 1 workshop (at least others of mine have). And things can go wrong—symptoms worsen, etc.

I’m not saying don’t do it, I’m saying just be cautious.

[Argonautomobile]

I tried it and I ****ing hated it. For months after I stopped going I'd randomly get this image of my T waving his finger at me and literally twitch. There I'd be, cooking breakfast, and -BAM! - All the sudden there he and his stupid finger are, swimming up between me and my burning risotto.

Everything I heard about how wonderful and effective EMDR is - It sounds so ****ing ridiculous to me now I have no idea how it ever seemed like a good idea. All that talk about how the toxic ******** is supposed to be transformed into a neutral memory from the past?

I mean, by what mental gymnastic does an objectively horrific event become 'Neutral'? How the hell is an experience which by DSM definition induced "intense fear, hopelessness, or horror" supposed to take on the same quality as that normal memory of the too-garlicy bagel you ate that one time?

And yet, that's what EMDR promises.

If I could go back in time, I would tell myself that there are plenty of ways to improve one's quality of life that don't involve sitting in a tiny room focusing on the worst experiences of your life while someone bilaterally stimulates you. Like self-care or breathing or safe place imagery or Weird Al Yankovic videos or, you know, any of the million other techniques they teach you in tandem with EMDR.

Anyway. But plenty of other people have found it helpful - even a godsend - and it's not as though there's a shortage of success stories.

[atisketatasket]

I never realized before how...odd “bilaterally stimulates” sounds.

[Argonautomobile]

Originally Posted by atisketatasket

I never realized before how...odd “bilaterally stimulates” sounds.

Glad you caught that -I put it in there just for you

[zoiecat]

I don't do EMDR with the finger moving thing and I don't think that would be very helpful for me. Personally I have to do EMDR with my eyes closed the majority of the time but I use the buzzers in my hands instead of watching the therapist finger go back and forth.

In my experience EMDR is in a way a prolonged exposure therapy. It is not an instant cure and you have to continually go over the same trauma each session until your tolerance and your discomfort level of that memory lessens down to almost a zero. At that point there is another step where the therapist will rework positive thoughts into your memory bank to further neutralize the effect of the trauma.

Like I said earlier depending on your past experiences this could take a few sessions or it could take many many sessions. I think a lot of people who have had a negative experience I stopped EMDR before the final phase. I have to admit I am impatient and just want to get there as well. That is why I've changed my tactic to continuously work on the same one memory so I can completely process that rather than skipping around to different memories depending on what is impacting me the worst at the moment.

I also understand the importance of training and certification however my therapist hasn't completed his certification yet. That being said he has been fully trained in Phase 1 and 2 or whatever they call it. He also has a great deal of experience doing EMDR and I am very happy with his skill level especially with dealing with my DID. I only say this because I would hate to have missed out with him based on the fact that he is not technically certified. It takes many hours of recorded sessions and supervision to complete certification. My therapist has completed all of those hours. I am sure there are many therapists practicing EMDR that are not capable or properly trained but in my experience certification does not necessarily mean the therapist is not properly trained. I'm sure there are also plenty of therapist that are certified yet have no clue as to how to deal with EMDR and people like myself with DID.

[WarmFuzzySocks]

Thanks, It seems like she talked about her training and experience when she first broached the topic, and I am pretty sure she's qualified and experienced, but I didn't think to ask about it today. It caught me a little off guard.

zoie, thanks...The crap is already coming out, so I think the hope is that we can make it feel manageable. I appreciate hearing that I can pace the process, which reminds me that I am a partner in this.

[WarmFuzzySocks]

(((Oh, Argo))) That sounds horrifying.

I am grateful you shared your experience. While I am cautiously optimistic, the whole thing seems odd to me, and part of me thinks, "Don't drink the Kool-aid!"

How long did it take to realize it was making things worse? (Not even sure of that's the right question...how many sessions? Or whatever?) Only if you don't mind sharing that...

[Argonautomobile]

Originally Posted by WarmFuzzySocks

(((Oh, Argo))) That sounds horrifying.

I am grateful you shared your experience. While I am cautiously optimistic, the whole thing seems odd to me, and part of me thinks, "Don't drink the Kool-aid!"

How long did it take to realize it was making things worse? (Not even sure of that's the right question...how many sessions? Or whatever?) Only if you don't mind sharing that...

Don't let my experience dissuade you, necessarily. I wish I hadn't done it, but I'm not ruined forever or anything. And other people swear by EMDR.

It was bad from the start and just never got any better. I stuck through it for almost three months of weekly sessions, maybe 7 of which were actual EMDR sessions. I stuck with it because "don't leave prematurely" is like EMDR commandment number 1. I'm sure plenty of people (including my own therapist) would chalk my bad experience up to leaving before therapy was "done."

And maybe that's true. It's probably true.

But sometimes it seems like a convenient way to explain away failure, especially given that it's not a time-limited therapy. Nobody can say, "You must complete 10 sessions." They say "you must keep going till you're better." I mean, substitute "purple hat" for EMDR...

"My PTSD still hurts"

"Well that's because you took the purple hat off too soon."

"But I wore the purple hat for a year."

"Well, you were supposed to wear it until your PTSD felt better."

[zoiecat]

Argo... I'm very sorry for your experience and I hope you find and technique that will help you heal. You deserve it. I've been there and I get it. I hope you don't feel like I was judging you. I can only speak from my experience. I have probably done at least 12-15 sessions on the one trauma experience I'm currently working on. I have wanted to give up many times and I continue to have flashbacks about it but I have noticed in the past month that my SUDS score has gone from a 9-10 down to a consistent 6. Seeing this improvement is giving me hope that eventually I will get there.

As I stated earlier everyone's level of difficulty with EMDR is based on their personal background and we all have to make our own decisions as to when to call it quits. I go back and forth with that everyday. I guess I've just reached the point where I'd rather push through and see what's on the other side than to continue to live as I am now. I want to see this one trauma memory through to the end. I want to experience success in my healing for just one small thing. At that point I will decide if I want to continue to tackle the memories of childhood.

One thing I have definitely learned through EMDR is that every situation that impacts your emotional well-being as an adult in some way links back to something from childhood. I guess I could say that's my one current EMDR success story. I have had many aha moments during EMDR where I realize how my response to a negative experience I had that day at work for instance directly relates back to something that happened to me as a child. So I finally get the picture. If I can eliminate those negative trauma experiences from childhood I can also eliminate how I respond to different life experiences now in present day. That seems to give me more motivation to continue on.

[Argonautomobile]

Zoi - If I sound bitter, it isn't aimed at anyone in particular. Reading your experience doesn't upset me, make me feel judged, or in anyway delegitimate my experience. Neither does my negative experience take away others' successes. I'm glad EMDR is working for you. As I've consistently stated, plenty of people swear by it.

OP - Feel free to ask any questions you'd like, and good luck with your decision.

[Spangle]

I am on my second referral of EMDR. I agree with many above that you need a well qualified practitioner. I had to wait longer for an advanced trained psychologist who could work with severe trauma. For me, it’s been life changing. No more flashbacks, no nightmares. I work with lights & then lights & buzzers if I’m stuck. I do know it doesn’t work for everyone, & I just feel so lucky it’s working for me.

[nottrustin]

I started doing EMDR this past July and go every other week. It has been A LOT of work and hard. My long term therapist does not do EMDR and had pretty limited knowledge but she is learning about it for me so that she can better support me through the process with a seperate therapist. It has been a huge struggle for me as I automatically disassociate when painful memories arise. So we have had to back up and work on allowing and recognizing negative emotions. EMDR T is so patient and understanding. There have been many days where I want to quit but I want to heal more so I keep plugging away.

[Out There]

I do well with EMDR - my T is a consultant clinical psychologist. Do check the training as people say , some can be very experienced without being necessarily certified. It is hard work like all trauma work is but it's very worth it. EMDRIA website has good information. My T uses the machine which avoids having to approach / touch the client - many people with trauma understandably don't like this , I don't think I could bring stuff up and try to focus on his finger as well. " Bilaterally stimulated " does sound a bit odd yes ?!

[nottrustin]

My T also uses the machine rather than eye movement. She will use eye movement if the client prefers but finds the eye contact and sitting so close is frequently uncomfortable for this with a trauma history.