[ElectricManatee]

Any other Americans feeling frustrated or annoyed about the upcoming Thanksgiving holiday and their therapist going out of town? My T hasn't taken a whole week off since March, but I'm still slightly, irrationally upset with her. And I'm planning to be out of town myself for most of the week! Still, I like knowing that she is in her office and available, and I get worried when she is traveling. I also find holiday breaks worse than T vacations because it seems like she should be there for all the dumb happy family stuff that comes up during the holidays. Family stuff gets amplified in an unpleasant way, even though I am currently refraining from any significant contact with my bio family.

Anybody have tips or plans for getting through breaks? Sometimes I find it helpful to have a project that I'm working on. My T suggested that I do something for myself during my therapy slots. She also mentioned loaning me a thing from her office like she has done before when she left town and was out of touch. Anybody have other ideas? What do you do? Or are you indifferent and/or relieved about holiday breaks?

[LonesomeTonight]

When T2 told me last session that he'd be out this past week, I asked him about Thanksgiving week, hoping to not miss 2 weeks this month. I was relieved when he said he'd be here through Wed. (my regular day). MC will technically be here, but my daughter has half-days Mon. and Tues., then is off the rest of the week (plus we have a doctor's appointment for my daughter that Monday afternoon). Which makes it more difficult for both H and I to go. So we're just seeing him the Thursday before Thanksgiving, then presumably our usual time at the Monday after, which is OK with me.

T1 used to always be out the week of Thanksgiving and between Christmas and New Year's (depending on when they fell, she'd sometimes be out 2 weeks then, since she only works Mon.-Wed.). It was often difficult for me, because the holidays are stressful times, seeing my family and/or H's family (both at Christmas). MC is generally around at some point during Christmas week, since he's Jewish. So I usually have been able to see at least one of them during that time. No clue what T2 will do about Christmas, since he has a fairly young son, who'd be off school (no idea if he celebrates).

I will say this past week was difficult because T2 was out all week, and MC was away until Thursday (we saw him yesterday). And I'd had kind of a rough weekend, so it was tough knowing I couldn't even really get in touch with them (tried with MC!), let alone not see them. So I completely understand about the holidays being difficult with vacation.

[DP_2017]

My T is on vacation right now, My usually days are Tues and Fri, so I'll miss Tues and he has a no contact thing, which really freaks me out, I get it, the anxiety in that stuff alone of not knowing etc.

Anyway he and I have agreed to text over thanksgiving break instead so I can have 2 sessions like I should be right now... instead of another weekly. He also said no time off in December, thankfully

I honestly don't know how I'd cope, I admire all of you who do, 5 days seems like a lifetime to me and I've gone plenty of weeks where we only met once but again, the notion of him NOT availble this time is what freaks me out

I think having a item is a good idea if she will agree to it, will she allow email or anything during the break?

[Elio]

I see my T on Mondays and Thursdays. We spent the first part of last session going over the holiday schedule because Christmas and New Year both fall on a Monday. For Thanksgiving week, I will see her on Monday and Tuesday. I'm not sure how helpful that is going to be. I guess technically it will be 24 hours less before I see her again. It just kind of feels cruel though. I think I was hoping for a phone call on Friday or maybe even a session if she was around. What she could offer me was Tuesday so I took it. This will be the first time I will see her for session on back to back days. I hate missing sessions.

[SalingerEsme]

I said okay like a four year old that my T is going away for the holidays- it is so not like me to worry about little things like that. I don't know where it stems from, but I do have a pang that he won't be here or accessible. He has little kids so that is really the most important thing to him.

[stopdog]

I am annoyed about the thanksgiving holiday madness - but not because of the therapist.

[awkwardlyyours]

I'm looking forward to some (hopefully no work and) refreshingly quiet time by myself over the holidays.

I am annoyed as eff at my therapist about the holidays. But that's because she gets into the business of trying to not-so-subtly encourage me to hang out with people -- then it becomes a weiiiiird, very awkward struggle to tell her 'Uhh....no, I'd rather not', with her obviously thinking I rather would socialize all over the place but have nowhere to go and me attempting to dispel that worry of hers and then well, looking like I'm protesting too much and so on.

The holidays are probably the single time that the differences between her personality / preferences and mine become starkest. I told her I'll probably randomly (based on whatever place has super cheap ticket prices) pick some destination abroad at the last minute and take off [alone obviously] for Christmas and she looked horrified and waaaaay concerned that yet again, I seemed to be doing things alone and clearly on an impulse (and driven by deep, dark trauma no doubt) rather than her super well-planned vacations with her very very close family, it seems.

She.drives.me.batty about these things with her boorgie-ness. Like just tear-my-hair-out kinda batty.

I'd thought it was just my personality that drove her to judgment but recently, she super judgementally commented on an author's (in a memoir) tendency to take off to random places on her own.

So, I figured she clearly has issues of her own. About holidays and a lot else.

[atisketatasket]

I actually have an appointment scheduled for Thanksgiving week, which I'll have to cancel because of a conflicting dentist appointment. I am planning to do this late so there's no chance of rescheduling. There's only so much Info-sanity I can take.

And I quite like spending the holiday alone with a yuuuge bowl of mashed potatoes and pumpkin pie.

AY--is this the family she could dump at a moment's notice, unlike people from other cultures, yet seems glued to? Could go on road trips without strangling them, etc.?

[awkwardlyyours]

Originally Posted by atisketatasket

I actually have an appointment scheduled for Thanksgiving week, which I'll have to cancel because of a conflicting dentist appointment. I am planning to do this late so there's no chance of rescheduling. There's only so much Info-sanity I can take.

And I quite like spending the holiday alone with a yuuuge bowl of mashed potatoes and pumpkin pie.

AY--is this the family she could dump at a moment's notice, unlike people from other cultures, yet seems glued to? Could go on road trips without strangling them, etc.?

Amen. (Spending the holidays alone)

I should ask her your question! I'd completely missed that.

Oh, btw, she read Roxane Gay's 'Hunger' (in an effort to show me how much she listens to me) and got all judgy about R.Gay taking off to random places on a whim. Yes, really.

[atisketatasket]

Originally Posted by awkwardlyyours

Oh, btw, she read Roxane Gay's 'Hunger' (in an effort to show me how much she listens to me) and got all judgy about R.Gay taking off to random places on a whim. Yes, really.

She is short on empathy and imagination, isn't she?

She clearly missed the day in therapy school where they taught "don't judge" or at least "don't let the client catch you judging."

[ruh roh]

Originally Posted by atisketatasket

AY--is this the family she could dump at a moment's notice, unlike people from other cultures, yet seems glued to?

Oh, snap.

[ruh roh]

I don't get bothered by the T Day off, maybe because it was during the TDay break 3 years ago that she called to set up my first appointment. So I guess I think of her as around, even if she's not actually around.

[MessyD]

I expect him to take off during holidays. Sometimes he offers different day but I think this time I'd rather look at it as I'm saving some money. I do worry do, because sometimes I have hard time during breaks, or even during week, depending on what's going on in my life. But I'm too afraid to tell him that because maybe that means I'm too attached and I'm not sure how he would take it. Although maybe he knows on some level. But I would be too terrified to tell him that sometimes I have a hard time without him. I think I'll just find something else to do and something else to think about.

[zoiecat]

I am never looking forward to holidays but it has nothing to do with my therapist and everything to do with so-called family.

I will have an 18-day break from my therapist over Thanksgiving due to both cancellations necessary on my part and his. The thing is I've been going back and forth for a while now wanting to quit therapy and was actually looking forward to this break kind of as a test to myself. Then on the night of my last appointment last Friday all of a sudden I felt scared and worried about the upcoming break. I know I will be fine and survive through it but there is just a tinge of worried as well. I have decided to make an effort to journal every day through this break so that I can look back when it is over just to see how I handled it.

I was actually surprised that V scheduled me the day before Thanksgiving, so I won't have a break this time around. We'll see what happens at Christmas I suppose.

I wouldn't have been bothered if she had taken the week off. I wasn't bothered last year when RoboT took time off. But then again I didn't care about him then, and I don't care about V now.

Sigh

[healinginprogress]

T let me know she'd be traveling, and logically I know she's a real human who occasionally likes to, you know, do something other than be a therapist.

Irrationally, I'm upset about it.

Luckily she does allow outside contact. And while I know she won't respond, I still feel "connected" when I email her. If you can't e-mail your T, what about writing letters journaling to your T that you can share in your next session?

[RaineD]

Mine hasn't told me his holiday travel plans yet, but I expect that he'll take the week of Thanksgiving off. He'll probably be gone the week between Christmas and New Year's and possibly the first week of January as well. Who knows. He takes so much time off that I feel defeated and without the energy to even be angry.

[Spangle]

I’m really sorry you guys for having an extra break from your t’s. It’s bad enough with the Christmas/New Year break without an extra break on the run up. My heart really goes out to you & during Thanksgiving.

(There’s sure gonna be a lot of anxious clients loose on the streets of America along with a mass exidous of therapists! Is that a good mix I wonder? )

[ElectricManatee]

I figured I should update now that I have a better handle on this. My T and I have been talking about the break here and there for a couple of weeks. This week, we landed on her letting me borrow a specific thing from her office, her giving me two notes to read during my regular appointment times, and also that I can email her (and she'll respond) once I find out the results of a thing that is pending that is stressing me out. I feel really good about this level of support and also glad that we were able to figure out a plan together. It will probably be a long week, but I think I'll be okay.

[peaches100]

I'm somewhat peeved that my therapist has been taking so much time off, considering the big rupture we recently had. She took off 1 week in mid-August, 2 weeks in early October, and is now taking Thanksgiving week off.

Then again, I'd told her I was pondering quitting therapy with her, so maybe she used that knowledge to take additional time off, figuring it wouldn't matter.

[SalingerEsme]

It is hard when they ask for so much work, so much commitment and money, and read into every minute late or cancellation. It seems like such a power play when they then take 12 weeks off a year, while most of the country goes to work. There is a kind of entitlement- clients must not cancel or it is acting out plus hurting the T's income, BUT the T can cancel for weeks, and that is setting healthy boundaries and self care. Hmmmmmm

[Teddy Bear]

My T didn't say if the holidays would mess up our schedule

[LonesomeTonight]

Originally Posted by ElectricManatee

I figured I should update now that I have a better handle on this. My T and I have been talking about the break here and there for a couple of weeks. This week, we landed on her letting me borrow a specific thing from her office, her giving me two notes to read during my regular appointment times, and also that I can email her (and she'll respond) once I find out the results of a thing that is pending that is stressing me out. I feel really good about this level of support and also glad that we were able to figure out a plan together. It will probably be a long week, but I think I'll be okay.

Wow, that's great of your T to offer all that. Sounds like she really understands.

[ElectricManatee]

Originally Posted by LonesomeTonight

Wow, that's great of your T to offer all that. Sounds like she really understands.

She's pretty great. I think a past version of me would have felt like that was way too much to ask for and that she must think I'm crazy or obsessive for needing/wanting all that. But now I mostly feel grateful that she's willing to do it, and I like that I don't feel obligated to white-knuckle my way through the week by myself. It feels okay to want stuff from her.

[Req3]

I am recently separated and my children are going to be with their father and his family for the entire week of Thanksgiving. I am sad. They are however teenagers and really don't want Mom around a whole lot. Going to try to take the time to just be gentle with myself and get some things out away in the house. Not really interested in the upcoming holidays at all.