[Lrad123]

I’ve been in therapy for 3 months and really like my therapist, but always have a huge internal struggle with myself about wanting to go each week vs. wanting to run away. Today was the first time I just couldn’t go. Last week I opened up more and I think I’m just feeling too vulnerable. Anyway, I no-showed but sent a quick apology email about an hour later. He has not responded and likely won’t. I’m really nervous about going next week. I thought I’d feel relieved to not go, but instead have been obsessing about how he’ll react when I see him. Wondering how to make it easier to go back. Ugh.

[Pennster]

That sounds difficult, Lrad, though I suspect therapists deal with this kind of thing a lot. Do you think it might help to send a full explanation of what you are feeling? It might help if you feel like he has a better understanding of your mindset. I think it's pretty normal for some people to feel vulnerable after opening up - hopefully he will be able to help you with this.

[SummerTime12]

I totally understand where you’re coming from, and I agree with Pennster that your T has most likely dealt with this before. From what I’ve heard, it is pretty common for clients to no show. I haven’t purposely skipped without notice, but I have canceled and then later told my T it was because I always struggle to get myself to go. He responded well and wasn’t hurt or anything. I think it will be ok, if your T is good they will not personalize it and will understand it’s the actual therapy process that is the difficult part

[ruh roh]

I don't think any professional is okay with a no show without being given prior notice so that they have a chance to rebook. So I'm guessing you therapist probably has a policy to charge for no shows and if that's the case, one way to go back and feel better is to pay for the missed session and agree to give the usual 24 hour notice next time--especially if he's private practice.

Your unease about going to session is separate from this, so that would be a good discussion to have after you settle what his policy is about not showing without notice.

[DP_2017]

My T allows 3 no shows before he would terminate.... most do not though. Unsure what your's policy is but hope you can work it out

As for why, I totally get the dynamic of wanting to quit, VS wanting to go... i've literally had this struggle weekly since June. I keep going though.... not sure why but I guess it's because he is the one person I actually enjoy being around.

Hopefully if it happens again, you can push the desire aside to skip and just go full force, the sessions I've dreaded going to most or had 0 interest in going to but went anyway ended up being the best in the end.

[Out There]

I understand those feelings - when I really haven't wanted to they have been the best sessions. Your T will understand them I think , but there is the missed session without notice side to it which I hope you can work out with your T.

[Lrad123]

He actually has a 2-week cancellation policy (does that seem long?) so I’m fully aware that I will need to pay. I’m usually super responsible, respectful, etc, so I’m not really sure why I didn’t call him. Actually, I’m really embarrassed about it because I’m not sure I can explain it except that making the decision not to go was difficult and once I made it I decided not to let myself think about it.

I did actually end up sending him a longer email last night with my thought process around choosing not to go. He sent a brief reply saying that we should probably talk about why I chose not to notify him. I’m really dreading this because I’m embarrassed and really have no idea why I didn’t call him. I’m thinking it might have been easier for me just to have gone!