Loss of significant memories not due to DID-should I be concerned?

I've been seeing my current T for three years; two or three other Ts in the past. I've never been diagnosed as having Dissociative Identity Disorder.

I do dissociate at times during sessions, but mostly for less than a minute. Lately, T and I have been talking about my years in HS (graduation 1968), and the fact that I don't remember dating one boy for two years; how I felt I'd changed when I went to college; the fact I can't recall my mother's death my freshman year in college (only that she passed away), including the funeral or burial site services. I had one sexual assault when I was 17 and recalled that memory in therapy w/this T.

T has been particularly serious and rather 'sharp' w/me when trying to understand and document my timeline. I've lived with these memory gaps for a long time, so I've never considered them problematic re: how I function. But, now I'm wondering if I should take my memory difficulties more seriously. I've not bought something I don't recall, I don't find myself in different places without remembering how I got there, I'm always called by the same name, etc., etc.

Besides the experts typically browsing PC, if there are any psych majors lurking, I would appreciate any thoughts on why I have so many lost significant memories.

How do you feel about your T? You mentioned them sounding sharp, do you feel safe and comfortable with them? Or to go a bit further do they seem caring and kind toward you?

From what you describe and from my entirely non-expert knowledge it seems like something akin to DID is possible (I think it's all on a spectrum-- dissociation is a coping mechanism for many). But if you have children in your system (as would be probable with DID I believe?) it doesn't seem likely they'd come forward if your T is "particularly serious and rather sharp" with you.

Do you remember much from childhood?

I don't have answers for you except to suggest you bring it up with your primary care provider. There are lots of physiologic issues that can impact cognition. Have you had a full work up/physical lately where this was addressed?
I struggle with memory issues too. I do believe it is trauma related for me. T told me he knows he's with a traumatized client when they have terrible memory issues, particularly for their younger years. For me, my memory sucks in every way though, it's embarrassing.

I have DID but I don't really start remembering things until around High School age. It is my understanding that DID has to start with trauma from a very young age. I'm sure there are other kinds of dissociation though that might cause your memory lapses from later years. Have you ever ask your therapist why they think you have the memory gaps if there's other reasons besides DID maybe they can help you with that. I'm sure there are many reasons for people to have blocked out traumatic memories.

There are other dissociative disorders other than DID that can explain the memory gaps. For instance, one can have dissociative amnesia without being DID: http://traumadissociation.com/dissociativeamnesia.html

Also even if you don't have a dissociative disorder, dissociativeness is a spectrum. According to Janina Fisher, degrees of dissociation is to be expected in someone with a history of trauma: https://janinafisher.com/pdfs/dissociation.pdf

I've many memory gaps where I know things happened (Eg graduating elementary school) but don't remember. And gaps where I forgot "X pattern of abuse occurred during these years and my partner said I was hysterical after each incident" and forgot I even told my partner.

T is not normally 'sharp' w/me...I think it was a bit of a shock that I didn't recall my mother's funeral, boyfriend for two years, etc. Yes, I trust my T, feel safe and cared for.

I don't remember anything of my mother until I was 12, but have limited memories of dad and brother. Dad was gone from home quite a bit, due to his profession, and Mom didn't work outside the home.

Obviously, I'm stumped. But it's only been lately that T has been focusing on things I don't recall. I feel I'm disappointing T, yet know T would be unhappy that I feel this way. T has always told me there's nothing I can do that would be a disappointment. (sigh)