[TrailRunner14]

Just curious and really looking for suggestions.

After I meet with my counselor I drive home with much on my mind.

A lot has usually just happened there and I’m waiting to get home to sort it out and see if there is any more that I get from it.

Well.

When I get home my husband wants to talk about his day and have some talk time with me. Strain.

My youngest son wants to be heard and I want to be there for him.

I am there for him. Strain.

I have all these silent things going on in my mind and being what I’m needed to be at the same time.

Here I am at 12:45 waiting to have some quiet time to put my mind and thoughts to rest and peace. Hear them.

Is this just me?

It feels like I need a decompression chamber to be “me” and feel like I’m back in the real world.

I desperately need to have some quiet time to sort it all out.

I know I could just shut them down and think of myself, but I really can’t do that and feel ok with it.

Any suggestions?

Thank you!

[WarmFuzzySocks]

I can so relate, down to being up late at night to get some peace to let things sort in my head. My people need my attention, to be driven hither and yon, I have tasks to complete, even the dog needs to be tended to when I walk in the door. It's draining, and I'm already drained.

I used to occasionally have time after a session to sit at the coffee shop on the corner long enough to drink a cup of coffee alone, or I could pull into the driveway and go for a walk before I even set foot into the house. That helped.

And there have been a couple times when I walked into the house, said, "I love you but I can't right now," and given myself 20 minutes to recover. It's ok to do that if you really really need it so you can be more fully present once you've had that time alone.

[Argonautomobile]

Yeah, I feel that. I like to have some alone time after the session. I usually drive aimlessly for a bit. Maybe get a cup of coffee. Can you do something like that?

[captgut]

Yes, I feel I have to be alone after a session. I have no personal space at home at all, so I go to a bar after every session.
It's no a suggestion of course, just my experience

I walk until the urge to drink til I am drunk has gone. Then go for coffee and swear I am never going back to therapy because it's too painful and she is too painful. Rinse and repeat next week.

[PinkyDoo]

I often have my appointments during my lunch break, so it’s back to work right after. I much prefer the end of day appointments. Sometimes, though, I like that I have to separate myself from my thoughts for a couple of hours when I have to go back to work. At home, it’s the same as many. My time must be given to to dh, kids and dogs. I try to get to bed early on therapy days, I crawl in to bed and write in my journal and sometimes it’s a brain dump to just get my thoughts out and on paper.

I can very much relate. I am usually like this for much of the day after my session. Especially recently. I go for lunch in the cafe in my T's village after my session. I'm a total regular there now which brings with it it's own problems as quite a few people in the village know me and want to chat.
Even though I pick my kids up from school three hours after my session I'm still not really ready for the trials of parenthood. Or to hear about H's day at work. Therapy days are hard.

[winterblues17]

Depending on the weather o would go for a walk, sit in the sun and just try and relax! Now it's colder here I tend to go home and have a bath, then I spend the rest of the afternoon/evening trying to keep myself busy by cooking/cleaning! I always talk to one of my friends online who is going through similar issues so it helps not to feel so alone once I leave session.

I vastly prefer end of the day appointments so I can walk till I feel settled enough to go "home" to my family. Home is an unpleasant place, really not a home. I would browse shops, sit in a resting area in a mall. Then I'd head home and try to get some quiet time to journal and go to bed early.

These days, I'm the first appointment of the day and head to work after. I try to ground during the 45 minute commute on the train.

[captgut]

Originally Posted by QuietMind

Home is an unpleasant place, really not a home. I would browse shops, sit in a resting area in a mall.

I used to go to a shopping mall at weekends and just sit there, just to not be at home
*hugs*

Originally Posted by captgut

I used to go to a shopping mall at weekends and just sit there, just to not be at home
*hugs*

That's a good idea for me to try. Rather than sleeping for...about 16 hours each day on a weekend.

[captgut]

Originally Posted by QuietMind

That's a good idea for me to try. Rather than sleeping for...about 16 hours each day on a weekend.

I try to sleep as much as I can... Parents don't really let me

It's too cold and slippery to go anywhere, so "sit in a mall" season is finished.

Originally Posted by captgut

I try to sleep as much as I can... Parents don't really let me

It's too cold and slippery to go anywhere, so "sit in a mall" season is finished.

Mine will make some sarcastic remark that I'm a princess and "finally" showing them my face. Glad they let me sleep in though.

Any way you can close the door of your room?

[captgut]

Originally Posted by QuietMind

Mine will make some sarcastic remark that I'm a princess and "finally" showing them my face. Glad they let me sleep in though.

Any way you can close the door of your room?

I don't have my own room, so... no

Originally Posted by captgut

I don't have my own room, so... no

That really stinks A room with a door you can lock, in the secure house away from toxic family...truly is something I hope you will be able to attain *hugs*

[MrsDuckL]

I can totally relate, your after therapy rountine sounds a lot like mine! Usually by the time I get home my husband is putting dinner on the table, my young son wants my undivided attention, and we have to do dinner, bath, bedtime, etc.

What helps me a little is to take journal notes right after my session, I sit in my car and try to jot down everything that we talked about. This helps me to try to continue the conversation next week (I like the idea of therapy being one ongoing conversation), but to also serve as a “dump” for what happened so I can try to shift back to my busy life. The drive home from a session is usually one of the only times I enjoy traffic, as I can drive with the music too loud to help me make sense of my thoughts.

Yup. That was pretty much my life following appointments. When you work full-time, are married, and have kids, "me" time is a rare commodity. That's one of the reasons I always got to my therapy appointments early, so I could just sit their and decompress BEFORE my appointments so that they would, at least, be fairly productive. But after them, life had to go back to my real world. In a way, it was a good thing I think. It forced me get grounded more quickly whereas if I had had time to just continue to dwell on my session, I might have had more trouble getting grounded. I also think I learned to compartmentalize the therapy life from my real life which I think helped me from becoming too focused on my therapy -- I think that can be definite issue for some. So, in general, I didn't particularly mind that I had to quickly transition back into my real world. In the long-run, it did me more favors than it hurt.

[LostOnTheTrail]

I write about them, and then meander gently on with my day. It helps me to have a period of time to decompress afterwards, rather than going straight into doing things.

[DP_2017]

i do evenings so by the time i am home, i am watching a quick show or showering and then dressed and head to bed, i dont give myself time to re-hash things

every session though i do journal about it after, usually the next day. then i try to keep busy in the meantime until i go back, by doing anything i can think of

I get that. Sometimes I would stop at the Starbucks that's between t's house and mine and have a chai tea and think. A lot more often I would do some speed-deep-thinking on the drive home and then when I got home, go straight to my computer and write notes from my session. It's usually not a problem with my h because if he's home, he's watching tv, and when he's watching tv, the rest of the world pretty much ceases to exist unless we talk to him first....

[atisketatasket]

I go to the gym and lift weights or swim (depending on the exercise plan scheduled for that day).

If I distract my body by doing something physical I enjoy, it calms me down after a typical session.

[healinginprogress]

I play video games. My husband knows that I don't usually want to talk on those days. And luckily I get back after my daughter is in bed. I can't imagine having to go to work after. :/

[ruh roh]

I'm sorry you don't have time to yourself, TR. I usually have a long drive home, unless I stay in my therapist's town for work commitments, which happens now and then. It's hard to be forced right back into the world like that, depending on what had been happening in session. Sometimes, my therapist urges me to stick around--walk or sit in the car--before heading back. Once, she offered the office next to hers (which she doesn't even pay rent for, ha) for me to stay in. I think it can be really rough when we are in a really deep dissociative state to readjust. I know your therapist's new office is not in a good location, so sticking around there is probably not going to help, but what about stopping on the way home as others have said they do? Could you delay getting home for another hour or so?

[Amyjay]

I have started audio recording my sessions on my phone which helps me with the after session processing. So it doesn't matter what I dom I can plug in my earphones and process whether I am walking, shopping at the market, cooking dinner, or whatever. When I get home I say hi, then go do what I need to do. If I need to be present and involved in something straight after my session I don't panic now, because I know that as soon as I get a chance I can refocus on the session by listening to it. This has really helped me a lot.
Because it is recorded now I can also bring it back any time I want over the week. I listened to last weeks session again last night. It really really helps.

[guilloche]

I can't imagine having to deal with family right after therapy! That would be hard.

I have a long drive home, where I usually listen to music.

I get home, check my email (because I leave work early for therapy - so I need to make sure there's nothing that I need to respond to) - then usually crawl in to bed!

(Not today though, today I'm here!)

Then, after an hour or two, I get up, make a quick dinner, and go to my piano lesson. Which is a bit of a relief, b/c I've got a great connection to my teacher and feel like he really gets me... which I don't often feel from therapists :/

So...
- drive home
- check work email
- nap
- piano lesson

By that point I'm usually "recovered" from anything that threw me off balance!