Couch 160: The Squeaky Clean Couch!

That's awesome, Art!

Maybe she’s trying to tell YOU something?

Maybe youll have better luck regifting that owl onesie if you "sweeten" the deal with those undies!

Eta - Tails up!

heeeeeeehee now you're thinkin'!!

Eeek. Running away from thoughts of onesies and fart-undies.

Y'all might be retraumatizing me!

Sorry kecanoe.

You wanted added stress in your life? Have child be a competition/company dancer.. holy crap couch. Thinking about trying introducing something new to my d to see if she can find something less intense and expensive.. ahhhh!

wow you guys. my son is in his room teaching himself to play "Norwegian Wood" on guitar. I'm absolutely in awe.

Group was a mistake. I just feel bad about myself and my lack of progress now. The only other person to show, her bf died 3 weeks ago and she's talking about picking up the pieces and being strong and moving forward. Contrasted to me falling apart and seeing no hope for the future and wishing I was dead. The only reason I'm glad I went is so she could have her time to talk, and she did talk for most of the hour and a half. If I hadn't showed up, I think group would have been cancelled. I may have to take a break from group for a while.

Yeah, sorry!

(((((NP)))))

Awake at 3, awake at 4...couldn't close my eyes because I'd be there. Yeah, brilliant time for R to be away. Really, really good.

I won't be looking again until February. All the managers are still on holiday.

Woke up after a few hours sleep feeling allergy symptoms. I took Benadryl even though I had my allergy pill earlier. Now I'm scared to sleep. I used some strong, perfume like stuff I bought to clean out my washing machine. Maybe I'm having a reaction to that! Or else the weather; it's warmer. Is anyone up? I am supposed to make an appointment for an MRI for my back and getting scared about that too. Maybe I have asthma now but I don't have an inhaler anymore. Just scared now and I hope the Benadryl works.

It's 9.14am here rainbow so I'm up. Hope the benadryl kicks in soon and you can get some sleep.

Thank you, Runcible. It's 3 in the morning by me. I took a shower. I hope so too!

Oh, well. I can breathe but not sleep!

Hi Rainbow. I have been up since 1:30am after not going to sleep until 11:30 pm and it is only 4:45am where I am.... ughh I hear you on the sleep thing.

Hugs to NP, Lost, Rainbow, Elio, and anyone else who needs them...

Last night was not a good sleeping night for me, either. The first one since we told MC we're planning to terminate, actually. Maybe I'm nervous about T today for some reason? Also doesn't help that I have a bunch of work to do today and D's schools are opening 2 hours late due to weather--they closed 3 hours early yesterday, which actually meant she came home 5 hours earlier than usual (she's usually in after care till 5 or 5:30). At least it's warming up later this week...

Benadryl usually knocks me out, but I've heard for some people it has the opposite effect--maybe you're one of them? And I'm really sensitive to fragrances, so that perfumed washer cleaner probably would have set off allergic reaction in me...

I hope you get some sleep too rainbow. I'm one of the strange ones with Benadryl as it makes me hallucinate.

I got 2 hrs. sleep after the Benadryl plus 2 earlier. Usually it works better. I think I need to get Nasinex or Flonase. I paid about $12 for the cleaning packets but I don't think I will use the rest! I use everything hypoallergenic but this was what the store had and I didn't realize!

So you really did terminate with MC. Is your H okay with that? Glad you made the decision.

I use mostly hypoallergenic, too.

Well, we're seeing him again in a month (Feb. 5). So we're going to see how everything goes during that time. He said we can always call to come in sooner if we feel the need. If things do go OK (like between H and I), I'm not clear on whether Feb. 5 would be our actual termination session, if we'd go monthly for a bit, or what we'd do. H is fine with decision--he's probably relieved he won't have to deal with my MC drama anymore!

I'm still mostly feeling anger at MC, plus feeling hurt by him. So I'm not at a point where I'm missing him--more missing how it once was with him. I've managed not to contact him so far but have been sort of journaling about it, as T suggested. Probably sharing the couple pages I wrote with T today. Where I mostly talk about what I would like to have from MC before ending, but don't know if he'd be willing to give me. Ideally, apology (doubt I'd get that), but at the very least, saying he understands why I reacted the way I did to some of what he said. He just seems hung up on his "I haven't abandoned you" thing, like he's kept that promise. How he's not rejecting me or pushing me away. When...how could I not feel pushed away/rejected if he's telling me to reduce contact? And not for my own sake, because my contact that week "just bothered [him] for some reason," even though it was apparently fine before?

Is it clear I'm still angry with him??? I just don't want the relationship to end with my feeling like this, if at all possible. I don't want all of this to completely cancel out the positive stuff from the relationship. I don't want to just classify him as "another male authority figure who hurt me"--but he has to be willing to give a little bit to make that happen. Just saying, "I'm not trying to get rid of you" isn't going to cut it...

Thanks for the hugs, LT.

To borrow SD's term, my 'person's' back is improving. We're not out of the woods yet, but there is some improvement. Now I just have to navigate the rest of this, and survive the 15th. Barring some kind of miracle, I feel it is unlikely that I will see R before the end of this month.

Hugs you two.
I'm glad you can breath again rainbow.

Elio... Maybe if you do that : long enough you'll fall asleep

Ice river
Pisgah National Forest, NC