Couch 160: The Squeaky Clean Couch!

I’ve tried that, with caffeine and other things, no luck. With me it’s all or nothing.

Ugh caffeine withdrawal headaches are brutal! I hope they end quickly!

Love the kitten pics!

Last kitten pic this is kitten wrestling

And another

I'm usually a good typist, but if someone's watching over my shoulder? Forget it. I look like a bumbling idiot. Even if it's not the VP. I'm sure you did fine.

Nice kitten photos BCM.

uggghhhh. i left therapy so angry tonight and i don't even know why.

Lookit that tail!

It reminds me of when you and SD mix it up.

Does 20L of oil for an automatic transmission service seem excessive? I thought maybe 5-6L. Just googled it my car uses 7.2L oil for a service. If they charge me for the whole 20L i will be cross.

BCM are they eating fertilizer? They grew like weeds! They're soooo stinking cute!

So it warmed up today, there are no popsicles in my water pipes, I bought a new battery for my truck and it's installed so I can drive myself tomorrow (yay!!) and I got some groceries. I need to eat dinner but I'm snacking on lemon Nilla wafers instead. Work was absolutely brutal today but tomorrow has to be better.

I'm surprised how quickly my mood turned around compared to yesterday. One spin of the clock hands and everything is all better. Denial? Or, I got everything I wanted so I'm happy now?

teehee adorable!!!

I'm supposed to go to group therapy tonight after missing 2 weeks for the holidays. I don't want to go. It's very CBT focused which I don't feel is very helpful for me right now, but I do miss the other members and want to know how they're doing. The only thing I can talk about is how suicidal I feel and it feels like this isn't the right venue for that most of the time. Ugh. I don't know what to do.

so right before i left work today my sup messaged me (he's in a different state) and said he got some great feedback from our VP about my side by side with her today, that she'd said she was very impressed with the information I provided and by how I call members back to resolve their issues. That made me feel pretty good! I know I sounded nervous when I was talking to her, but when I was on the phone with the members, heck I shine at talking to them, so there was no nervousness there at all even though she was sitting right next to me. I like that my sup gave me feedback so quickly. That was good.

Now I've seen it all.

Fart With Confidence With Shreddies, the Flatulence-Filtering Underwear

There was no ultimatum: I simply called the receptionist and cancelled my next two appointments. I still have sessions scheduled.

She said that she realizes that what she was doing wasn't working, that I need to work on non-verbal stuff still, so we're going back to that. She knew that I left the last session dissociated, hadn't seen me, and wanted to be sure that I was ok. We didn't discuss the cancelled sessions at all.

It was a phone call, and I don't think that either of us really wanted it to be a long one-it was 7:30 Friday night. After 6 months of insisting that we need to identify goals and work toward them, now we're going to brain spot whatever issued I being in each week and I am to notice and report back on what is changing. Which is exactly what I want. And have tried to negotiate with her to no avail. Just weird.

I am super curious to know more, but I think the wisest course for me is to go with it.

I think having running water and a running truck after having neither would turn most people's mood around. Lacking either of those things can ruin a day. I didn't have running water for 2 hours and I was not a happy camper.

Woo-hoo!

I would go just for the company, which sounds like it’s what you get out of it anyway.

Transmission fluid is different than a regular oil change, but i cant tell from what you said, what it is they did.

By coincidence, I ran into someone who mentioned the name of a therapist I saw a long time ago, very briefly. I liked him, but it was analysis and I couldn't hack it. Anyway this person said out of the blue, do you know [ex therapist]? And I said of course, then shared my experience.

She raved about him enough that I looked him up out of curiosity and watched a video of a talk he gave. Within the first few minutes, he said, "The client is always right." I loved that and needed to hear it. From what little time I spent with him, the one thing he did really well was support and encourage my gut feeling about things.

There was a part of the video that I thought spoke to something I think my therapist and I can agree on, although we call it different things and have a different approach, so I sent it to her. It didn't occur to me that she might take offense I was sending her the video of an old therapist of mine, but thankfully she did not. I'm actually hopeful that the part I transcribed for her might help bridge our divide. Fingers crossed.

Are you trying to tell us something?

P.s. i TOLD you it was good about the VP!!

bahaha no!!!

eta: and thanks! yes you did!