Couch 161: The Hexagonal Pyramidal Couch

Yes, when I was in the hospital for my leg, they all were like umm yep admit, yep IV Antibiotics and by the way we signed you for a surgery, just in case... but really you are going in for surgery so get prepared for it. For me after the first 36 hours on IV antibiotics my fever was done, head ache gone and I felt pretty darn good, except leg hurt. They don't mess around with it at all.

On the topic of your mother, my mom recently told me she loved me after not having that in my memory at all. I'm not prepared for her to be "good" mom after all these years, I'm still very angry with her I guess. How are you dealing with it?

That's awesome. Go Mom!

And, take the time. Sepsis is a big deal, you need the rest, and H needs your support.

He says its not good for me, i dont know when to stop.

Hugs. I firmly believe some level of outside contact is good for those who need it.

I understand not knowing when to stop, so my T's boundaries is she won't reply to messages and we'll discuss if I'm messaging too much. Sometimes she allows a phone call, with that same caveat of a discussion if it's too much.

I'm sorry that your T is rigid on this matter of no outside contact.

We had boundaries but i never recognised when i overstepped the mark, even when we discussed this in session.

Having outside contact taken away would be a bad nightmare for me

Maybe a flat refusal is kinder in the long run and leads to better growth?

Starting to realise: when T says no, it gives you an opportunity to explore why you wanted it and what other ways there might be to get your needs met. Which won't happen if T says yes.

PS:

Madame T was very weak on "other ways", however. "You'll have to work that out for yourself."

Hugs I'm sorry your T took away outside contact.

According to janina fisher, "attach parts" feel that outside contact is literally like life and death. Like they gotta reach out to the therapist or they die. It's difficult to soothe them. Then angry protector parts can be very angry with the therapist and blast the therapist for a number of reasons and through different ways, including through outside contact.

Having outside contact taken away would be a bad nightmare for me

Too many yesses stifle growth. Too many noes destroy attachment. Ts earn trust with yes and spend it with no. It's a difficult balance. Perhaps impossible.

Is all of this my fault?

'Ello Couch What have I missed?

So the doctor said today that he wants to keep h in the hospital til Friday at the earliest. He's still on the 2 round-the-clock IV antibiotics. H is feeling better this afternoon. I tried to get the doctor to tell me somehting today, but he was in and out so fast he just ignored me, i want to know what are the chances his fever might spike again and he get worse, and if that happens, what if i'm at work? He wants me with him at the hospital til he's released and I want to be, of course. I'm hating myself for feeling this, for even caring about my job at all right now, but being honest, I feel guilty taking any more time off from work even though he's still in the hospital, still on the IV antibiotics. it was pretty scary before his temperature started coming down and he started feeling better. What is wrong with me that I'm even thinking about my job right now? My h should be my only concern!! Gah! should i even be thinking about work?!?!

Too many yesses stifle growth. Too many noes destroy attachment. Ts earn trust with yes and spend it with no. It's a difficult balance. Perhaps impossible.