Couch 162: Let's Play Ball! (The Baseball Couch)

Anyone else sick of winter?

Yes. A thousand times yes. February is the worst.

LOL yes, I feel like I've been "extra depressed forever" but its only been a few months, so long and dreary. Plus too many T cancels because of weather

i want just ONE good snowfall If it doesn’t happen in the next 2 weeks (and we are will be above average temp all week), this will be the second year in a row. Hate climate change so much.

also: question: how would you react if your T offered to go to an AA meeting w you?
background info: this isn’t the 1st or 3rd time she’s mentioned AA over the course of 2.5 years we have been together. i agree i drink too much and alone, so it doesn’t help my isolation which is pretty severe or my depression. that being said, i don’t catgorize myself as an alcoholic, nor do i have any inclination to stop. cut down, yes i should. i told her that if i actually had a life, i wouldn’t be sitting home night after night drinking. it provides relief from the boredom and anxiety.
she responded that she isn’t calling me an alcoholic, but she knows it helps keeps me isolated and depressed, which are problems for me. she thinks that AA might help me connect to others. i feel is is hypocritical to go to an AA meeting knowomg full well i do not intend to stop drinking. also i feel like i would feel worse about myself bc i don’t have a traumatic background and everyone else’s story would be so much worse than mine, which would make me feel guiltier. Also, i can’t see myself speaking up in a group of people. Introvert me says helllll no.

another also: i don’t believe in God (which i know is fine), or any higher power whatsoever, and i can’t see how AA will work if i don’t.

I wouldn't think so. We're waiting for my cycle to start, which probably won't happen for another 5-7 days. I might call and ask though...

I don't think a belief in God or a higher power is absolutely necessary for AA. I think there are even AA groups for agnostics and atheists. It's not like the twelve steps only work if you believe in God.

Why don't you give it a try? As I understand it, you just have to want to stop drinking to be welcome. The power to do actually do it might just come later. And no harm if you decide it's not for you. Plus, the way to get a life might be to try new things?

And I imagine having your therapist there will help.

(((Velcro))) AA meetings are actually kind of fun, in a weird way. Realize this is coming from someone else who is isolated and depressed. You can do them online now too. Personally i could not go to the overeaters anonymous meetings without coming home and eating everything in the cupboards, but i liked ACOA, and especially ARTS, Artists recovering thru the twelve steps.

Sounds like your t is saying to just do something different in the evening?

Eta - im not into the higher power stuff either. Thats why they say, "take what you need and leave the rest."

right...but i don’t want to stop drinking.

I know very little about this topic, but I think there are newer approaches to curbing drinking that aren't Alcoholics Anonymous. Somebody recently wrote into Savage Love about something called Moderation Management, which I think involves changing habits around drinking without necessarily stopping altogether. There might be other approaches that will turn up if you do some research. I think I also remember reading about a subreddit that billed itself as an alternative to the AA approach.

To me, it sounds like you are pretty aware that your alcohol use is symptom of something else, rather than a problem in and of itself. (It would be a different story if you were having physical withdrawal symptoms in a chemical dependency sense.) So maybe the solution is to work on the depression/anxiety/boredom and assume the drinking thing will mostly fix itself. (Easier said than done, I know!)

I don't think that stopping drinking is necessarily a magical cure for you. But I do think depression and isolation are self-perpetuating (at least they are for me), and getting a life doesn't happen automatically. Why not give doing something different, whatever it may be, a try? Just a thought.

ETA: speaking of trying new things...I need to leave for Info soon.

Is the newness from Info?

The combination of ATAT and Info?

Or, Info and fortuitously located large windows?

Yes!! we had heavy lake effect snow here this morning and now we are currently under a winter storm warning. I need friends move south.

Sorry to hear it's influenza, daisy. I hope you're feeling better soon!

In other news, I took today off work to go to the dr with h for his followup. Dr was pleased that he's eating better and his blood sugar is already better. Everything looks good, and he released him to go back to work tomorrow.

And he is righteously annoyed at our insurance co and said he would "get it done" with them. I am pretty certain he will, too; he was not happy as he read the letter we got yesterday. He sounded incredulous, actually.

She’s always pulling something new out of her sleeve.

If she is even wearing sleeves.

ETA: writing the check out. Does anyone who pays by check ever write a comment on the memo line? Like, “for wasting my time”?

your t intrigues me so, @@.

I joked with my T recently that I was going to put "for re-opening the wounds of my childhood" in the memo line.

Some other therapist just asked if I was waiting for her. Maybe I should have said yes.

Oooh, it's like a choose your own adventure novel. You could have a whole different persona and a whole other set of issues to work on with her.

What was she wearing??

If it wasnt shoots and leaves, we're not interested!

That is all great news, art!

If insurance doesnt pay for this, then what DO they pay for?! It HAS to be a coding error. No offense, jdna! Maybe somebody saw it and said, oh this cant be right!

Yes, I was thinking of this. I recently got a book that uses Moderation Management theory called, the very creative title, "Controlling Your Drinking" by Miller & Munoz. It has lots of different strategies for, well, controlling your drinking without being about abstinence. I've developed a plan to reduce my weekly intake over the next 6 weeks or so, basing it on number of beers I drink a week (I...don't want to say what that current number is, but my ultimate goal is 10 or fewer). It could be worth getting (on Amazon) and maybe discussing with your T? It's one of the "Click to Look Inside" ones, so you can get a good sense of it.

Also sick of winter...D had off school yesterday for ice, and there's supposed to be another freezing/rain sleet thing going on tonight, so...suspect she'll be off tomorrow, too...And it's not like, "Oooo, 6 inches of snow that we can play in!" It's just dangerous ice so we're stuck inside...