Cancellations

Is it ever OK for a therapist to cancel a weekly scheduled session without notifying the client? Is there ever anything a client could do that would justify the T doing that?

I don’t think anything would justify that. I think a t always has a duty to notify the client of cancellations.
If a client is violent or threatens the t then a t has a right to protect themselves but they still have to notify the client that they won’t be seeing them again

Without notification? No. That's unprofessional. On accident and they apologize profusely? That's being human.

^ 100% this.

Yes.

If they died

I had a melt down over my session being canceled a few days before, even. I count on them so much in a few different ways.

Do you mean that your T canceled a session and never told you, or your T cancelled all your sessions going forward, but didn't meet with you to tell you?

In both cases, it stinks. If though your T had a huge emergency, the first one might happen?

My T once cancelled a session just a few minutes before bc he was stuck testifying in court about something. That I didn't mind even though I had planned to be there, bc he let me know ahead of time he was dreading the experience, and then he kept me looped.

When I got upset was when he refused to give any explanation , bc I felt put in my place or something(?).

If I arrived at his office, and there was a note or a person saying Hey Esme, Session Is Cancelled. I would assume something drastic happened to my T; If I arrived and found he would never see me again, I would soulsearch to see what I had done wrong probably, and walk away extremely wounded, but I wouldn't try to contact him again.

That would not be okay with me

On purpose, with the following explanation when asked if they were going to be there:

Sorry
Things came up
Also hadn't heard from you

AnnaBegins( love that song) that seems really unprofessional and disrespectful.

Things came up is not an acceptable reason to miss something . My boss would fire me probably if I said something that rude. It would be different of the feedback./ take away was- I hand heard from you, and didn't plan to have a session because of that.

I still don't know what things came up - he won't tell me, even though I said I would understand if it was a family emergency or he was in court or stuck in traffic or something like that.

I feel really hurt and abandoned - was doing poorly before this happened, which he knew, but feel a million times worse now. Having a hard time pulling myself together enough to pretend I'm OK and a normal person when out in public, and the person I usually turn to when I feel this way, that encouraged me to turn to him when I feel this way, is the reason I feel this way.

Wow this is a bad situation, I'd be angry for sure

That stinks. It makes him seem irresponsible.

I just wanted to know if it was OK for him to do that if he was mad at me because he thought I did something wrong.

Not okay. Only okay if he asked you did you want a session, but you never replied.

Did he cancel this one appointment or terminate?

Did you arrive to the appointment and he wasn't there?

Were you expected to contact him by a certain date/time to verify this appointment? Why the "also hadn't heard from you?"

I think his response is unprofessional and dismissive. Just wondering if maybe there was a miscommunication somewhere along the way that might explain some of this??

That seems really strange. Is there a reason he might have thought you weren't coming? I'm interested about the haven't heard from you bit. Why was he expecting to hear from you? In any case, it seems weird to say something came up and also that he hadn't heard from you. If either excuse was legitimate, I wonder why he mentioned both. Also, why were you asking if he was going to be there? That makes it sound like the appointment wasn't guaranteed in the first place.

So, that came after the fact? Or was like a note on the door? That is not OK either way. And even if that was prior to a session that is a pretty terrible way to cancel.

The session he cancelled because “things came up” was last week. He just cancelled our session this week too - I texted him to ask if i was in his calendar because I didn’t trust that I was after what happened last time and he responded that he was just going to text me, that he forgot his kid had a thing, sorry. No mention of rescheduling, just sorry.

We meet outside his office for sessions because he changed jobs three years ago and his new office is too far for me and a handful of his other clients. One of us usually texts the other one to say we are on our way so we get to the place we are meeting around the same time. It’s not a confirmation, just a hey, I’m on my way message. I texted that to him last week and didn’t get a response until five minutes before our session was supposed to start.

We used to talk a lot via text outside of sessions but we hadn’t spoken for a few days prior to this happening. Every other time we had a pause in outside communication, he asked me if we were still meeting. This time, he changed the rules...or that’s what it feels like anyway.

Is us not talking outside of session for a few days what i did wrong that makes this OK?

You absolutely did nothing wrong. Sounds like he’s scapegoating you. I’m confused and concerned about where and how your sessions are being conducted. You say you are meeting him outside his office. His old office? Then where do you go? What job did he change to 3 years ago?

I don't think you did anything wrong. This is on him, and he should have owned up to it without attempting to insinuate that you are partially to blame.

He meets the handful of his old clients that are too far from his new office at B&N. A few times, I was too anxious and sad to go in to the store so we sat in my car and talked.

He had the same type of job three years ago, just with a different group. He left rather abruptly...I didn’t find out from him that he had left until after I found out that the old group sent out letters stating he no longer worked there. At the time, he told me he would never leave me and we would find a way to meet.

He told me he would never leave me so many times...feels like I made him lie.

So he's holding actual therapy sessions at a Barnes & Noble -- a public space?? Does he charge you for these sessions? Does he currently have an active, valid license to practice?

Have you been seeing this t regularly, at the B & N, for the last 3 years?

Have you heard from him since the cancellation texting took place?

Sorry for all the questions. Just trying to better understand what might be happening. Please do not blame yourself for your t's lack of integrity.

I don't think I could do therapy at a Barnes & Noble. Talk about no privacy. I'm sorry you're having to deal with his abrupt cancellation, Anna.

My marriage counselor will sometimes conduct sessions (mostly with his teen clients, but once with H and I) at a coffee shop across the street from his office (he has an active psychology license). I assume as long as the client is OK with it, therapy can take place anywhere. I know some people go on walks with their T's, too, where others could potentially hear.

For a handful of his old clients (clients he had prior to starting his new job), he has actual therapy sessions at B&N. I told him once that it made me feel really awkward and like I had to leave stuff out sometimes because I didn't want to upset other people who might be able to hear us but we handled that when it came up the same way we handled me being too anxious to go into the store - we sit in my car and talk.

I heard from him yesterday when I asked if I was on his calendar for our regular weekly session today - after last week, I didn't trust that I was. He responded that he was just about to text me, that he forgot his kid has a thing, sorry.

I feel like he is abandoning me because he got fed up with dealing with me and because I did something so wrong and made him so mad that he finally gave up on me.