[ChickenNoodleSoup]

I'm not quite sure what I want with this post... maybe hear if anyone has had similar experiences or advice in general...

I am a person that usually cries a lot. I am sad a lot, and then I usually cry if I am alone. In therapy I used to also cry during most sessions (apart from maybe the first few months when I didn't really know my T yet). Since I have a lot of issues letting people get close to me, it used to be quite often that I would cry when telling T about something, but I wouldn't really feel sad... not sure whether that makes sense, but I couldn't feel the sadness, even though I was crying. I can recognize emotions when I am alone, but much less so when other people are around.

Recently, for the last maybe 5 or so sessions, I have become more aware of the feelings that are going on while I'm there. Before I could mostly recognize fear, but nothing else, now I can feel almost any emotion I get while in session. And of course we usually talk about it too. However, for about the same time, I have a very difficult time crying. I can feel that I am hurting, and I feel like crying, but I can't. By that I mean I can sit there and do everything that you would do while crying, but there's no tears anywhere... which is really unpleasant, and I usually get frustrated by this.

I have talked to T about this today, and he was understanding and of course also mentioned that it would be okay to have tears... but that didn't really help either.

I guess I am wondering whether somebody else here has ever experienced first being able to cry very easily with a therapist, and then suddenly not being able to anymore. And whether that ever got better again.

[Tbhimscared]

I haven’t experienced that exactly, but I can see how that would be frustrating. For me, it’s more that I can only cry with certain Ts or if I don’t cry in that first session, I’ll never cry again. It’s like I’ve built up a wall against the “vulnerability” of crying that I don’t let myself cry unless I already established it in the first session or so. I find it frustrating that I can’t seem to let myself cry because it would feel so good, and I cry almost constantly outside of session. Feelings are so strange sometimes

[Marsfx]

Hmm, I haven't experienced that. I'm not a big cryer, as a kid yes as an adult rarely. I feel like my therapist would start talking about emotional intelligence. Instead of just being overwhelmed to where you cry and can't pick out the emotion too well. (or thats how I feel when I cry) you're actually able to understand and sort through them all.

[DP_2017]

sadly no, I only cried once in nearly a year. it was over my dog who died too..... otherwise no. i feel very robotic and i struggle to express and deal with emotions. i wish i had good advice for you. i guess i would just say, if it happens it happens but try not to stress over it

I'm having similar experiences recently. I cried all the time with my ex therapist, whom I stopped seeing in September. I haven't had a proper cry in therapy since. My current therapist supposes it's a defense mechanism that I've developed in light of the traumatic experiences I had with exT. From your post I'm wondering if the intellectual part of you takes over (now that you're recognizing your emotions). That's only a hypothesis, and I'm definitely no expert.

I have hope it will get better, because you're right. It is very unpleasant to have the feelings that would typically bring you to tears but can't cry.