Survivors of Unethical Therapy

What can we do to go forward with something like this?

This is the big question. How does one spark social change? Truth is there is no right way, even if we are to study similar situations that occurred in the past, the methods upon which social change occurred is diverse. It's a lot of leg work and a lot of setbacks and slowly but surely, the truth will out. Not to mention that abuse will continue to happen regardless of what we do - so those stories will also be released overtime and survivors will gradually combine forces, as with all social movements and mass abuse cases.

I have literally walked up to healthcare professionals sitting on park benches outside hospitals on their lunch breaks. Sparking a conversation about these things in a 1 on 1 and off the record manner will almost always provide additional insights and knowledge. They are willing to talk about this, but it has to be the right setting and they have to know they can trust you.

Depending on what country you live in, there have been many court cases where healthcare professionals have come forward and been fired, blackmailed, threatened, etc. Basically treated as whistle-blowers for doing the right thing. Some of the names of those professionals can be found by simply googling these topics, while others are hidden under court order and non disclosure agreements. Public court records are accessible to the public for a small fee. I believe in Canada it is something like ten dollars to view an entire court case in the court houses. In order to narrow down a search, you can search for a listing of lawsuits made against healthcare organizations (which includes the names of the defendants and the complainants) and if you can match names you find online about abuse scandals or from the College of Physician and Surgeons / abuse resources online, then you may be able to speak directly with those involved. Perhaps you'll stumble on the name of a survivor with whom you could reach out to and request to speak with as a fellow survivor.

Some professionals who have been victimized are still working in healthcare and some are not. Regardless, there are a lot of professionals who are very upset who are still working in healthcare. They cannot speak up publicly because they will be penalized (despite all the efforts to portray a system that prides itself on honesty, integrity and accountability). My plan is to meet with and speak with as many professionals off the record and build a bigger picture. Perhaps they will be willing to share their stories off the record and anonymously, in which case - there would then be something to show to the public and spark conversations.

Conversations spark controversy, which in turn gets attention. All publicity is good publicity so long as the conversation is started. This would provide further awareness and beckon fellow survivors to come out of the wood-works, which in turn could jump-start additional advocacy efforts.

It's the ground work that'll spark change. That takes ALOT of time and effort. In the end, it is about doing our small part [as individuals] and combining it all to make a large-scale movement. But we need to get support from the healthcare community - or those members who retain a level of credibility who can vouch for such stories and have nothing to lose. These would be the professionals who have already been let go and penalized by the system for doing what is right. It is also the survivors of abuse who have been so badly scarred and traumatized. Their voice is so important.

There are so many issues to tackle. Perhaps we could start by listing some of the major issues and barriers that keep people from speaking up. That in itself is topic for discussion. Any ideas?

I think the first step is to connect with fellow survivors. Currently there is no central hub for survivors of therapy abuse. Everyone is scrambled and many are too afraid (for valid reason) to speak up about it. This unfortunately doesn't help the matter. We need to support one another and know we are not alone. Merely opening a door of communication with survivors of abuse could provide the kind of organization needed in planning a social movement.

Thanks,
HD7970ghz

I've never understood the point of seeing a therapist to solve problems caused by therapy. I want therapy to deal with issues in my actual life.

The ending of my therapy was poor, as my therapist refused a final session after we had a major disagreement about hugs. I later contacted the BACP to tell them what had happened and asked whether they could mediate a final session, as I'd found the refusal to say goodbye upsetting and I wanted closure. I explained I didn't want further sessions with my old therapist, but I did want an apology and some acknowledgement from him that his handling of the situation had resulted in distress and was poor.

I found their response incredibly patronising -- they told me it sounded like my therapist was just trying to be professional and attached a random article called 'What therapy is not'. Their view seemed to be that because he wasn't out and out unethical that his behaviour didn't merit looking at. They suggested I find another therapist. When I finished reading the email, my thought was the profession needed to grow up a bit and take client concerns much more seriously.

So, feeling unheard, I left a critical review on my therapist's page. It was deleted and immediately replaced by a review from a local senior therapist (presumably his supervisor) saying how wonderful he was.

Whereas the refusal of a hug was upsetting but intellectually understandable, the refusal to say goodbye, the lack of impartiality from the BACP and my therapist's supervisor's review felt like a real betrayal of the trust I'd placed in the profession.

Like Kori kiwi, I'm very lucky to have a husband who has always stood by me and is the day to day support that a therapist could ever match. He also works in community mental health and was less than impressed by how my therapist ended things. (And given my husband has no problem telling me when he thinks I'm being unreasonable, it was nice to have some validation.)

There's now a Wordpress post about how my therapist ended therapy with me. It's a space where I can't be kicked out of, shut up, or patronised. It gets about ten hits a month, so I hope it's helping a few people decide whether he's the right therapist for them and whether they can deal with his particular shortcomings.

The sad thing is that it didn't ever need to be there. I was very open to mediation and closure, but the wider profession made that impossible and left me to create my own closure.

I’m still pissed about my horrendous therapy experience(s). I told my current T I feel psychotherapy owes me something! (I didn’t mean T, personally.) Something’s screwed up, though...whether it’s their training...or they need a ‘weeding out’ process..or something.

T loves her profession and she was like, oh, no, it’s not the psychology/psychiatry professions that owe you...it’s the legal system that let you down..

Well, she can add the legal system on to those who damaged, r@ped, hurt and disappointed me, but I still FEEL the psychology/psychiatry professions OWE ME SOMETHING! They tell us our feelings are never wrong...correct? ....so I’m RIGHT.

I have no idea how I would ever feel compensated, though. No idea how the professions would pay that debt because I’m not just talking about financial reimbursement... Maybe I want to *make sure* therapist exploitation is taught in their ethics classes. Maybe the medical board needs to be revamped or they need an oversight committee ..where they don’t merely police themselves. I want the exploitation of clients to STOP.
And I’m tired of the MH professions and their victim blaming! ‘Oh, my client ‘came on’ to me, what should I do?’ Or, ‘My client came on to me, I bet she’s trying to ‘set me up’ (to cry rape or whatever...) I’m sure those scenarios happen but therapists should be trained to deal with it..not take advantage or make excuses.

I don’t know what they would have to do to make me feel the issues and damages were righted...but SOMETHING!

Anyone else feel that way?

Absolutely! I was trying to think of a way to write about in the other thread. There are two senses of recovery. One is something that happens in you, like after you are injured.

The other is social, like when somebody sues somebody. That is also called recovery. That's a concept that people have recognized for a long time but, for some reason, not in the cases of therapy abuse and exploitation. Maybe/probably because most folks don't understand the damage that is caused?

Your sense of outrage is absolutely on the mark in my view. So sorry you had to experience it but the outrage is your instinctive way of trying to let others know of the horrible injustice and disrespect which has been done to you. And which is continuing to be done to people.

Yes, I agree with you. The fact of the injustice doesn't change with time, even if you personally recover in some sense.

Found these two interesting articles. It could be triggering.

What you do you all think of it?

First link is USA Congress acknowledging the trauma epidemic in society.

Congress Holds Historic Hearing on Childhood Trauma - Mad In America

Second and third link are about a man who posed as a mental health doctor who treated survivors of sexual abuse. Disturbing.

Sarasota man posing as mental health doctor for sexual abuse victims arrested



Thanks,
HD7970ghz

Regarding the second story, if he was not attached to a medical group or hospital it’s likely he didn’t carry malpractice insurance, either. All his clients were duped.
I can understand why people might not have thought to double check his degree claims. I feel people generally expect professionals have the training they claim on their C.V.

He was getting $150.00 an hour and probably didn’t have a G.E.D. (according to the article.)

What a sad and outrageous situation.
Ridiculous.

Here is a recent story about altered health records.



Here is an interesting story about the impact that health records can have.

‘Minor’ Errors In Medical Records Can Have Major Consequences | HuffPost

Thanks,
HD7970ghz

I've recently become obsessed with one question I'd like to see researched. The question- Out of of all the individuals approached by their therapist in an initiation of a relationship ( sex, intimacy, romantic) , how many have immediately and successfully said "no", and terminated therapy?
As an offshoot, how many have immediately submitted a complaint?

My guess is that it would be a low percentage. The grooming process in my case, would have given me very few avenues, and the person that I would have typically processed with, my therapist, would have of course been of no use. In the two years of therapy with her, prior to her initiation, she had encouraged many actions which resulted in isolating me from friends and family. She had worked hard to become my only personal support .

I'm seeing some of the difficulty researching this type of question- defining the initiation and type of relationships.

Therapists are great at writing articles about narcissists and narcissism -- what you're talking about seems to me to fit into that.

I wasn't sexually exploited but feel some similarities in what happened to me. The underlying client needs and patterns that get exploited, rather than explored, may be similar in many cases.

Those similarities DO seem to me to provide some good avenues for research.

Why do some therapists exploit rather than explore? Can education or training or something other than their own therapy, which seems frequently insufficient, help? Also questions that could be researched, I think.

My guess would be that few would say immediately 'no' and even fewer would submit a complaint right away. For the first part, I think probably because by the time a T dares to make such a clear initiative, they are likely quite certain that the client was already affected (successfully groomed) by them in that way and is already engaged on a mental level. Some Ts may be reckless but perhaps not as much as risking their careers for something random and when they don't already have a good sense of a favorable response. As for the second part, I believe if someone is so clearly uninterested that they immediately reject such an initiative, they probably would not think too much of it either and would not care to report it, it may not even occur to them.

Hi Topiarysurvivor,

That is an interesting question! I imagine the numbers are astounding. I was speaking to someone on a distress line a month or so ago and they confided in me that their ex-therapist tried to groom them and so they went straight into a complaint process.

Unfortunately there would need to be much more awareness about the problem and willingness from the industry to acknowledge the cultural and systemic abuses going on. Until that happens the statistics and research you are interested in might not be accurate or effective. Perhaps a percentage of those who have come forward might give an indication as to the percentage of abuse survivors who file complaints immediately versus not at all versus later. Unfortunately, research would rely on sample sizes in population instead of entire population of survivors, so the results may be inaccurate unless the research can be done very meticulously. (I only say this because each trauma survivor's story is so unique, as is their reaction and willingness to file complaints).

I do know that complaints against mental health providers in my province are seemingly lower than those against (non-mental) healthcare professionals. I would assume this could be correlated with fear of retaliation, risks associated with the power imbalance and tendency for claims to become a he said / she said, in which case the survivor would be disbelieved. I would also assume the fear of speaking up is much higher considering the stigma around mental health and the potential ramifications from subsequent therapists working in the same field and their tendency to protect one another.

How many survivors do you feel would come forward after the initiation of unethical relationship in therapy? Do you think it is more / less?

Thanks,
HD7970ghz

Im sorry for people who feel this way. I totally get it and its a really crappy way to feel.
I had a physical relationships with one of my high school teachers and as scared & embarrassed as i was when i started talking about it I was actually met with a lot of compassion. When it came to my therapist though, who only said inappropriate things but never touched me, people were like...'And?...So what? Get over it.' It actually made me laugh when i thought about the difference in reactions the first time.
WOW. Holy crap did those people not understand how painful that therapists behavior was for me.
It makes me feel really bad for people who get hurt but arent hurt 'that bad'
In someways i think its a much harder place to be. At least when it comes to trying to get support b/c the sympathy isnt there and people just want you to 'get over it' ASAP.

Holy ****. I couldnt even read through your whole story. To much of it was to familiar for me.
Did tou file a complaint? Im so so sorry you had to go through that. I cant even imagine having to deal with the fact you were paying out of pocket. I was on state insurance. I was only her client for 2 yrs. & only paid her like 2500 usd. I dont know what else to say Im just so sorry.

yeah, a lot of toomanycats story resonates with me too, including the amount of money i paid over the years since i was paying fully out of pocket too. that just added another layer of shame, humility and anger that i have had to spend time working through as well

Yeah, I relate with this, as well..with a different Pdoc...the happiness of being special, the lunches, the rides in his black corvette convertible.. the promises he would never leave me, the stories he told me about his family...that he and his wife were trying for a baby but disappointment she’d gotten her period. (Wife would have killed him if she knew he mentioned anything that personal.) He confided in me when one of his daughters was diagnosed with cervical cancel..in another matter, .I would tell him if he ran a culture on this patient’s sputum, he needed to order a ‘sensitivity’, too, (to know which antibiotics would help. Shouldn’t an M.D. know this? He’d declare, ‘She’s right! She’s right!’ then order the correct tests for the patient. He dictated other patient’s records in front of me! .I felt like an equal. And I loved it.

He seemed to care what happened to me.

But he moved and wouldn’t tell me where. I found him. This happened a few times until he finally took a job I could not follow. This man was charismatic- he seemed to bring the SUN, itself, into the room with him. Of course I wanted to be around him..tell him my secrets, my problems..seek his advice.

Yes, I understand what the OP is saying very well.

Hearts and hugs for everyone out there who experiences abuse in therapy! Know that you are not alone. When the whole world fails to acknowledge our abuse, perpetuates it and intimidates us into silence - it is our duty to make one small step in sparking change.

That starts by talking about it.

What will you do today to spread awareness? Will you tell a random passerby, will you write an anonymous forum thread? Will you share a hard-earned insight with others in hopes that they can prevent abuse when a therapist decides to take advantage of their power? Will you seek out fellow survivors and provide them an opportunity to speak up? Will you seek out members of parliament anonymously? Will you send anonymous letters to the Health Ministry to share your insights and hope they will take them seriously?

There are many out there RIGHT NOW who need our help. Don't forget that.

I am going to approach every private therapy clinic in my vicinity, and ask to put up a flier that will direct them to a website for therapy abuse. I think this is an ESSENTIAL part in bringing us together and sharing a voice. Perhaps others can do the same.

First we need a website as a central hub. Any suggestions? Anyone know how to make websites?

Thanks,
HD7970ghz

Thanks HD , I'm still struggling with what happened a couple of months ago. I guess I have some hard earned insights though. I'm trying to accept that none of these people took any personal responsibility for anything and just blamed me.

I am so sorry that you are struggling with this. The idea that they abuse you first, then blame and shame you later is so heartbreaking. Abuse dynamics make me sick to my stomach.

What have you done to cope these past couple months?

This world is going to hell in a hand-basket. It seems to me there are so many people in power who choose to abuse. I wonder what it takes to flip the switch and inspire others to speak up about these things more and stop protecting perpetrators.

This is unfortunately how the world works.

I often wonder why so many healthcare professionals choose to go along with the systemic abuses and do absolutely nothing to stop it. I mean - wow, just wow. Where is their heart? Their soul? Where is their empathy? Where is their capacity to stop the wrongs?

Thanks,
HD7970ghz

Well , coping.. I'm still very angry that he had a responsibility and a duty of care and failed miserably at both.

Well here’s my story and maybe you more experienced people can tell me if this was abuse. It’s taken me like three years to come to terms with it and I apologize for the length.

I started therapy when I was 23 with a man I’ll call J. He was older than me but I think in his thirties. He had gone to business school and changed career paths and had a masters in psychology with all the fancy letters after his name. He was really nice and gentle and we clicked. I followed him from practice to practice as he furthered his career. He saw me through two more children, deaths and dealing with childhood trauma and bipolar. He was what I needed. A gentle man to help me learn to get comfortable with men again ( other than hubby). He ended up in private practice. I think I saw him for a total of 16 years ! When I couldn’t afford it he made arrangements. Honestly we were almost friends. He was an alcoholic in recovery(aa) and was a certified addictions counselor. I didn’t develop my alcoholism until my late 30’s and it sort of snuck up on me but I always had an addictive personality (hence I still smoke). He always recommended AA and I always had reasons why it wasn’t for me.

Then I hit bottom and called him and he brought me to my first AA meeting- shaking with withdrawal and emotionally wrecked. I haven’t drank since and that was almost 7 years ago.

In AA you have sponsors. Women go with women but he sort of was sponsorish even though he knew better. As his practice branched out he started corporate and public seminars for different things and was always pushing me to go to them. I couldn’t afford it, didn’t like it but felt obligated due to his good will.

One day my sponsor called me up to tell me that he went up to her at a meeting and said “how’s our Sarah doing ?”
My sponsor froze. Not only is it not his business to ask my sponsor, he outed himself as my therapist. At first I couldn’t see the wrong. I immediately defended him. But I thought about it and it was an ethical violation as far as therapy and AA goes. I’m then I thought about my therapy. Once I was sober it was basically friendly chatting sessions and I had long done all the work I could do. So he was collecting my copay and we were shooting the S*** for an hour. Everything was so subtle. And I got mad finally. I was betrayed by him. In my most vunerable area of life-my sobriety and the anonymous aspect of it. Of both things really. Then I thought of all the intimate things he knew. My abuse; my sex life-everything. If he was so caviler that way then with what else?
I knew I needed to terminate but due to my issues was so scared to confront him. I caught him outside of a meeting and my sponsor stood by me and very calmly I told him that I didn’t need therapy anymore and I was uncomfortable with the disclosure and seminar pushiness. He tried to flip the script but my sponsor stepped in and helped redirect.
For months I was so guilty. I stopped going to nearly all the day meetings and only went at night to avoid him. I was terrified of seeing him. On a couple of occasions I saw him at the same meeting and avoided his gaze.

Was this subversive abuse ? Did I overreact? I feel like he should have known all those years of hanging out in session, the hugs goodbye and hugs hello at meetings were inappropriate. I was confused and still am. It’s been about 3 years since the terminaton and I still haven’t made peace. What do you all think?

I think he didn't know what he was doing. I think he maybe got over enmeshed with you in some way? Didn't see you as distinct from him and recognize/respect you as a separate individual in some sense ("our Sarah")? His own issues, came out of the woodwork even with his own therapy and own AA. Sucks. Sounds like he liked you, cared about you in some senses, but still. . .

It's great that you went to AA and got a good sponsor. Good for her for recognizing the problem, good for you for being able to recognize the problem, too.

But, in my case, and many cases the T ‘suggesting sex’ or ‘initiating a sexual relationship’ doesn’t start that blatantly. It isn’t suggested (at least, for me) in the first five sessions...it’s a gradual process of T building support and trust with the client. If Pdoc, in my case, had suggested we become intimate early on in the relationship I like to think I would have immediately rejected the idea...that I would have run out and not gone back. Of course.

But it doesn’t happen like that.

When it finally became a topic in session, it was after much grooming. He would ask me (for instance) to relate any sexual fantasies I had of him. I hadn’t really had any fantasies of sex with him but I didn’t want to disappoint him so I made some up. He’d call late at night just to check up on me. I thought that was sweet. He’d arrange for me to see him last appointment of the day to ‘spend more time with me.’ I thought he really wanted to help me. He talked to me like I was his equal. I have many more examples. He didn’t just blurt out...’let’s be intimate.’ Finally, months and months later, he suggested sex with him would be therapeutic. I thought, maybe, this was just how things were done in California...and by then, I had caring feelings for him.....

I had no idea sex with a Pdoc was not only unethical, that it was also a felony in that state. If he knew it, he didn’t say. All he would say was to keep it a secret because it could be ‘frowned upon.’ If I knew it was unethical plus a FELONY, I hope I would have had a clue. But me, I was as clueless as they come.

In California, it’s a law if a client tells a therapist about maybe, sorta having sex with another T or Pdoc, that therapist is supposed to hand the client a pamphlet called, I think, ‘Therapy Never Includes Sex.’

I don’t think hugs are inappropriate per se or that he deliberately abused you.

He sounds very unprofessional though. Outing you, talking to people in AA about you, pushing his pricey seminars on you (knowing you are on disability) and in fact going to same AA meetings with you and actually bringing you to one instead of just recommending (unless of course you live in a wilderness and there is no other meeting anywhere). Doesn’t sound like a professional to me.

Hmmm “Our Sarah”... you aren’t a child.

Glad you found help you needed and not seeing him anymore

Simple answer from me-total betrayal of trust. If you are like me , you will discover more and more things that he has done which were unethical .