[stopdog]

Do you ask the therapist to change things in their office for you? Turning a picture away, moving furniture, opening or closing shades, turning lights on or off, etc.

I said yes. She has this big black bird on top of one of the sand tray shelves. In the office where I saw her for the first year, it sat there staring at me where I sat on the couch. I finally had to say something. She moved it. It's still there in her current home office, but it's still positioned so that it doesn't stare at the couch. Thankfully!

I suppose I could have answered "I want to but I won't" though, because of the painting of the creepy masked lady that hangs next to the door - I hate that thing - and want to stick a piece of paper over it when I walk in. It does face the couch. I try not too look at it. It's far enough away from the couch that I don't accidentally look at it too often. If I want to look away from t while we're talking, I look at the sand play shelves instead.

[atisketatasket]

No—info and I spent like 15 minutes on this once. She wanted me to ask her to close the shades because the sun was in my eyes, but I didn’t see why I couldn’t just lean back and deal with it myself.

Apparently I failed some kind of relationship test.

[ListenMoreTalkLess]

I've asked more than 1 T to move their chair back.
Both complied and asked if distance was ok in subsequent sessions.

I've not encountered a situation where the office would be an issue. Even still, it's their room, not mine. I'd adjust and adapt.

[LonesomeTonight]

I said yes, but it was for things like closing the shades if the sun was shining brightly through them (I'm sensitive to light). And I'll move stuff like pillows around. Or ask for a box of tissues to be moved by me. And this isn't moving stuff, but I've asked for a space heater to be turned off (sensitive to heat) and in one case for thermostat to be adjusted once I realized current T has separate thermostat for his office. So they're all basically cases of physical comfort rather than emotional. In each case, they've been fine with it.

[DP_2017]

Nope

Although he pulls out the fan sometimes for my dog when the weather is hot... but it doesn't really change the lay out of things

Speaking of t's chair. I wish my t's was closer to the couch. When she first moved back here, she didn't have the table in between yet, so her chair was much closer to the couch and kinda catty-corner to it. It was a more intimate setting and I liked it more than what it is now. (And she says I have a fear of intimacy!) I really liked my first session after she moved back - no furniture in there yet, and we sat in lawn chairs!

[stopdog]

One time the clock on the woman's table was broken so I took off my watch and placed it on my knee. She asked why and I told her the clock was not working. She reached over, picked it up and exclaimed "you are right". It pissed me off - like how would I have been wrong about that?

I took in my own folding chair a couple of times because her couch was so awful.

[velcro003]

if something is in my way or bothering me, i just move it.

[WarmFuzzySocks]

Originally Posted by atisketatasket

No—info and I spent like 15 minutes on this once. She wanted me to ask her to close the shades because the sun was in my eyes, but I didn’t see why I couldn’t just lean back and deal with it myself.

Apparently I failed some kind of relationship test.

We didn't spend any time talking about it (thank goodness!), but I was dealing just fine leaning out of the sun when my t got up and closed the shades and told me it was okay to ask for her to do that.

Except I was handling it fine, and if it had bothered me I'd likely have asked her if she minded if I got up and closed them myself.

Then I spent the next 20 minutes wondering, much like what you wrote, if I'd failed some kind of test, self-advocacy or something. Really I was just too absorbed in the conversation to worry about what the sun was doing.

[maybeblue]

The only thing I've moved has been a kleenex. But I'm getting up enough nerve to complain about his stupid sign that preaches at me every time I go in there. "It is well with my soul." The history of that song is kind of horrible, especially to an agnostic. Some guy's four children died in a boat crash, and instead of grieving them like a normal person would, he wrote the "It is Well with my Soul," song...basically saying that "it's ok they are dead, I'm going to heaven."

Plus I think it's grammatically incorrect. It really should be "It is good with my soul," because "good" is an adjective modifying "it," and "is" is a linking verb. "Well" is an adverb.

I don't expect he'll take it down or anything. He still plays God music in the waiting room and I griped about that once. We differ in our religious beliefs to say the least.

[BonnieJean]

Lights. Switched from overhead florescent to using the floor lamp.

I felt like I passed a test one day when she asked me (like she often did) if I wanted some water, and I said yes. She even remarked "You've never said 'yes' before!" Now, I don't even ask I just pour it myself.

[healinginprogress]

I put nothing's ever bothered me. But thinking about it, I mentioned that there wasn't a trash can near where I sit. None has materialized there yet.

[LonesomeTonight]

Originally Posted by BonnieJean

Lights. Switched from overhead florescent to using the floor lamp.

I appreciate that my T just uses floor lamps in waiting room and his office (even though there are overheard fluorescent lights, since it's an older office building). I tend to get headaches from fluorescent light (and got one in a meeting at my D's school today).

[Wonderfalls]

My new-ish therapist has a very cold office; the office suite is divided into what are essentially doctors' offices. I told her she should fill up her big bookcase with books. I think that would help a lot. (I told her more casually than that). She said as soon as she brings a book into the office then she finds she needs it at home. And I thought Wow! you must not have very many books. I could fill up many many times her shelf and still keep what I needed at home. It kind of sucks.

[Wonderfalls]

Originally Posted by maybeblue

The only thing I've moved has been a kleenex. But I'm getting up enough nerve to complain about his stupid sign that preaches at me every time I go in there. "It is well with my soul." The history of that song is kind of horrible, especially to an agnostic. Some guy's four children died in a boat crash, and instead of grieving them like a normal person would, he wrote the "It is Well with my Soul," song...basically saying that "it's ok they are dead, I'm going to heaven."

Plus I think it's grammatically incorrect. It really should be "It is good with my soul," because "good" is an adjective modifying "it," and "is" is a linking verb. "Well" is an adverb.

I don't expect he'll take it down or anything. He still plays God music in the waiting room and I griped about that once. We differ in our religious beliefs to say the least.

That's horrible. I could never go to a God doctor. Just the reverse. But as for "well" it looks like they're using it in the sense of "not sick".

[atisketatasket]

Originally Posted by maybeblue

The only thing I've moved has been a kleenex. But I'm getting up enough nerve to complain about his stupid sign that preaches at me every time I go in there. "It is well with my soul." The history of that song is kind of horrible, especially to an agnostic. Some guy's four children died in a boat crash, and instead of grieving them like a normal person would, he wrote the "It is Well with my Soul," song...basically saying that "it's ok they are dead, I'm going to heaven."

Plus I think it's grammatically incorrect. It really should be "It is good with my soul," because "good" is an adjective modifying "it," and "is" is a linking verb. "Well" is an adverb.

I don't expect he'll take it down or anything. He still plays God music in the waiting room and I griped about that once. We differ in our religious beliefs to say the least.

Not in the same league, but I rejected a therapist once at the first session because she had a sign on her wall that said:

Every
Cloud
Has
A
Silver
Lining

And another that said something about love, maybe

Love
Is
Beautiful

Gah.

[stopdog]

I rejected any of them that had stuffed animals or toys. One office had them everywhere -it was kind of creepy.

[Elio]

I said other because I have asked her to move stuff most the time when I am not in the room so the room is set up when I arrive. Last session she moved something when I was in the room at kind of a joint solutions, I just ignored her. It bugs me to have her move things for me; if I am not there then I can pretend it wasn't done because I asked.

[GeekyOne]

I have not asked my T to change anything, nor would I. It's not my office.

I wear layers because she keeps it warm, I have turned down the odd offer for a drink or something and I even pocket my used tissues (I only recently realised she even had a garbage bin when she offered it a couple months ago. But it is not accessible from my seat, so I haven't used it unless she offers it). I hardly even rearrange/fluff the cushions where I sit!

I am acutely aware that it is her space, not mine.

[LonesomeTonight]

Originally Posted by stopdog

I rejected any of them that had stuffed animals or toys. One office had them everywhere -it was kind of creepy.

Did they see kids though, maybe? Ex-T did, so she had a couple stuffed animals and a little dollhouse in her old office, but I knew it was because she saw kids. If she didn't...then that would be kinda weird (especially the dollhouse!)

[NP_Complete]

I answered yes. There is a floor lamp next to the end of the couch where I sit. (Apparently most of his clients choose the other end of the couch.) Sometimes it feels like a spotlight. I think it's mainly when I'm feeling anxious. One day I asked if I could turn it off and he said yes. I now do it without asking if I feel the need to. I try to remember to turn it back on, but sometimes I forget. Once he suggested I turn it off, but I decided to just deal with it.

[Anastasia~]

I can't say that I've ever needed to change things for as long as I've been going to therapy with him.