Calm Place (aka Safe Place) Visualization - Um, Help

I went to my second session of therapy with the new T. She started off saying she would drop the things I didn’t want to do (like the woo-woo headband) and went straight into intake and prework for EMDR.

I thought this went well, and I liked her professionalism (I felt my last T was trying too hard to give empathy and it came off as fake and was distracting).

Anyway, she wants me to come up with a calm place to visualize for use in therapy sessions. I don’t know what that would be. I have chronic anxiety, so I always have this undercurrent of uneasiness.

Do you have any ideas? Do you do this in your mind?

What is your calm place?

I did this with my EMDR T a few years back. At first I was like "Uhhhh....I don't know," but she said it doesn't have to be real, anything where you could be that would make you feel calm. What came to mind was an island. I got a poster board and drew my imaginary island. it ended up being fun to do, but i never really used it, but also EMDR didn't really gel with me.

I did this and I chose my parent's back yard because I would always sit and relax out there and just listen to the birds etc.. and it was where I spent tons of time with my dogs.

However one dog passed away since and was buried out there so I wont even go in the yard now, so I had to change it but I've not thought of anything new yet.

He told me alot of clients visualize places like the beach or some place where they feel calm and at peace, maybe a library or something

Mine was at the ocean with my husband and family.

Depending on where I am emotionally some times instead of going to that safe place I think of something that causes me to feel good about myself.

While I haven't done EMDR, my T and I do Imagery Rescripting.

The safe space can be completely imaginary and doesn't have to be realistic. If you've never ever felt safety, it may take time to come up with such a space.

Sitting on a beach or in the woods I'm always aware that I'm there and should enjoy it or even that I'm aware that I am enjoying it, which is not truly relaxing. Going back to my childhood when I was in the car at night with my family at the drive in or on vacation I would get drowsy and try to fight it but, lulled by the sound of the car or my parents talking softly to each other, or the movie in the background, I felt totally at peace and safe.

There was also the soft lulling and the lost fight to stay awake in 1st hour high school trigonometry, but not really the peace and safety of the other scenarios.

I remember having to do this exercise in rehab. Didn't really work for me. To contrived.

I had a vivid fantasy world as a kid. There was a small hut for me and my animals, no people allowed etc... Anyway, I use it as my safe place nowadays and it works surprisingly well for me

I love everything about cows and i mean everything so i chose a paddock with cows. I used to smile abit when my T described the smell of the dung as he was clearly uncomfortable with this.

I did EMDR and the calm place was my kitchen watching the humming birds at the feeder but visualizing the calm place when completely triggered does not work for me neither does their dumb containment exercise either.

What until you get to that one. You have to visualize placing the extreme feelings you have in a container, seal it, and put it somewhere that it can not escape. I had such a hard time even doing that so he made me think of a supportive person cheering me on to put it in and bury it. Nope sorry no supportive person in my life ever cheered me on. So he said I had to make up a fictional person or a super hero. So I said Ripley from Aliens. I could visualize all I want shoving nothing in a box or whatever but it never changed the extreme emotions I was feeling. I think just like voodoo you have to actually believe it is real to work and I just feel so silly every time i have to do that.

Like you, I also have chronic anxiety and that undercurrent of uneasiness is always with me.

I do not have a calm place like the ocean or forest but, rather, I imagine in my mind something that feels calming for me. I have always believed in guardian angels so I simply picture in my mind that I am being completely surrounded by a bright white/blue light from my guardian angel — a bright white/blue light that is protective as much as it is calming, soothing, and loving. I imagine that light from my guardian angel shining down on me from high above. It works every time.

If a spiritual approach is not the thing for you, then maybe try imagining something that feels calming to as opposed to a specific place?

My place is 100% imaginary and (in my mind) accessible only via my teleportation, somehow. I don’t feel safe enough in any real place to use it in as a calming place.

What helped me was my T explaining that it wasn’t a “safe place” since I don’t have one of those. It was a “slightly safer and calmer” place than anywhere I was in real life.

Now it’s a nice place in my brain and it feels pretty safe, but that took a lot of repetition to get to.