[ChickenNoodleSoup]

As the title says, I'm wondering how often you bring up things about your relationship with your T, if at all. Of course that's on average, sometimes it's more, sometimes less.


I find I talk to my T at least once a month about it, and if I do it is the only thing discussed during that session. I won't even mention other things that are going on in my life in those sessions.

[feileacan]

All the time. This is the most important topic we discuss.

I said Sometimes, but is never the focus of our discussions. I got much more out of talking about my own issues that affected me in everyday life, things I could not resolve easily, or my analyses of these problems and my role in them. Possible solutions. Discussing the relationship with the T was sometimes interesting but I usually felt afterward that I just distracted myself from real issues and it was a waste of time and money. But I wasn't in therapy for relationship problems. I sometimes used the experience with the T to highlight something, as example, etc but not merely for its own sake.

[nottrustin]

Very rarely. We just make it work .

[ElectricManatee]

The more we talk about us, the more I learn about me.

[stopdog]

I did not for the most part. The woman tried a couple of times but soon stopped after it was clear I did not adore her or think she was super dooper. First I would not call what the therapist did a relationship and second I really don't see what the point would have been for doing such a thing for me.

[ScarletPimpernel]

Almost all the time. It's not all we talk about, but I'm always concerned about our relationship so I check in a lot.

Once a month maybe? It used to be more but i think for the most part we're both comfortable how things are and can focus on other things now.

[maybeblue]

I said "once a month," which is probably average. It's always me that brings it up...mostly because I get the feeling that the therapist hates me, or is mad at me, or I'm mad at him. Once in a great while it's in a positive way, but mostly it's conflict. But since one of my main issues is being able to handle conflict directly and without getting hurt or hurting someone else, it's probably the most useful part of therapy for me.

[junkDNA]

almost every session in some fashion

[fille_folle]

I have never talked about the relationship with a T. I have been in therapy for 13 years and am on my second T. Is this weird?

[LonesomeTonight]

I said 1-2 times a month, but I think it's actually between that and "almost every session." Lately, it's been very frequent, but then times will go by where it doesn't come up for week.

[musinglizzy]

I voted I would like to talk about it, but I'm scared of it. Whenever the topic of our relationship comes up, my T says it's a distraction for other things. I feel like she minimizes my feelings, not on purpose though. For me, I feel like my therapy relationship has a lot to do with my relationships outside of therapy. If I feel really good, safe and connected with my T, then my relationships outside of therapy feel the same. If I feel the opposite with my T, I tend to not participate in relationships outside of therapy. Not on purpose, but it's a pattern I've noticed.

It comes up on a pretty regular basis

[ruh roh]

It doesn't come up. From what I gather, she doesn't see that as part of therapy. I guess I don't either.

[velcro003]

i put rarely. i would put either never or i am too scared to, but i spent an entire session on monday literally unable to tell her how upset i got that she cancelled the prior week's session, sort of last minute.

i came home and wrote it all down in my journal, and am going to give it to her to read (after i leave the room). sooooo in almost 3 years of therapy, this will be the first time i've brought up anything to do with our relationship. i'd prefer not to, but now it has become a thing for me, and i am afraid it will make me more silent than normal.

[weaverbeaver]

Almost every session, t will always refer to our relationship and how she feels about it and ask how I feel about it.
Sometimes we feel differently and that’s mostly ok too.

[WarmFuzzySocks]

We've discussed therapeutic relationship a few times, but more generally. I was really curious about how it worked and why. I don't think we've ever discussed it in terms of the therapeutic relationship between the two of us specifically.

[atisketatasket]

As little as possible. I’m not paying them to talk about our relationship. That I’m there says we still have one and they’re getting paid, what more do they need to know?

[annielovesbacon]

I voted I wish that we would, but that's mostly because I have anxiety about termination. I want to know what will happen when we leave. Other than that though, I feel no need to talk about our relationship. I have a complete and clear understanding of boundaries. We've never had to talk about them.

[autonoe]

Never. I've been seeing him for about eight months, and we've never discussed it. He once asked me if I felt like I was getting what I needed from my appointments. I said yes, and that was the end of the conversation. I don't even know exactly what it means to talk about the therapeutic relationship, but I think it's something that could be beneficial. My T always has me steer our discussions, so maybe he's waiting for me to say something.

[koru_kiwi]

interesting poll topic to consider...

i voted based on therapy with my ex-T and it was almost every session that the relationship came up and we even discussed it between sessions via emails and texts. looking back, at times i use to get very frustrated with how much he wanted to focus on our relationship and in those times would leave sessions feeling upset because i was not heard or understood...i felt i did not get a chance to fully voice and address the issues that i wanted to bring to the session. because of this, my conclusion has been that much of my therapy was more about my ex-T, his needs and his agenda.

reading through some of the responses that people have left so far, i do wonder if those who have a T who does not focus so much on the relationship actually have had a more positive experince of therapy or are more satisfied with their overall outcomes of therapy.

[LostOnTheTrail]

It comes up sometimes, but we don't focus on it as a rule.

[feileacan]

Originally Posted by koru_kiwi

reading through some of the responses that people have left so far, i do wonder if those who have a T who does not focus so much on the relationship actually have had a more positive experince of therapy or are more satisfied with their overall outcomes of therapy.

I voted that we talk about the relationship all the time but I am very satisfied my therapy and the outcomes so far. The general relationship issues was the main reason I went to therapy.

I do not discuss much of my real life or life goals if you will with my T because these are things I can handle very well on my own and I don't need any assistance in that. However, before starting therapy I had never been psychologically close to anyone - I did not even know that such a thing exists. I understood that for some reason I don't click with people but I had no idea why. On some level my relationship with my DH seemed ok but he asked me why there is no closeness in our relationship and I have absolutely no idea what he was talking about. I don't think there is any other way for learning these things from zero than by doing it and at the same time talking about it to understand what is happening and what we are doing.

[DP_2017]

I used to often, whenever I had a thought or something I'd just randomly throw it out there, but after how badly things went this week, never again.