From no crying to crying every time

I´ve gone through a lot of counselling and during about three years or so, I didn´t have sessions continously all those years but still, I cried perhaps three times.

I´ve never shared tears with anyone as an adult and now it´s like I cry every time I see my therapist. It´s not so many times actually but I could cry just when I see her in the hallway to come to meet me. It'´s not because of her but I feel such a sorrow for things I've been through and how my life is. And she´s the first I ever share anything more emotional with as I don´t have such a relationship with my parents.

Now I often feel close to tears and I can begin to cry just to think of my therapist and what she said last time when I sat in her office crying.

Perhaps someone else is going through similar things around crying when seeing your therapist and a kind of awaken sorrow?

I have 7 sessions where I haven't cried and I've seen my therapist for 15 months, twice a week for most of it. I've turned up crying on his door step more than once, before we've even started.

For me there's a lot of abuse I previously was in denial about and I never felt like I could express my emotions whilst growing up.

There's nothing wrong with tears and I believe there's healing in it all.

I cry every session (except for a few where I had trouble crying, not sure why). I don't cry just when I see him, but we can talk about pretty much anything and I'll cry. And if I think of him outside of session I get pretty sad and might cry as well. Don't know why it is though.

I've always found it hard to cry in front of people because of how things were growing up but I cried in front of my counsellor a few sessions in. it was the first time I'd cried in front of somebody in ten years. now I don't cry but tear up at least once every session, sometimes when I don't expect it!

I cried a lot in the beginning years of therapy, but not so much lately, although I have had tears in my eyes in several sessions. Maybe I don't cry so much anymore because I have made peace with the issues that made me cry in the first place. Or maybe, at my age (58), I just don't give a sh%t anymore. Sigh.

I cry a lot with my therapist, Sarah. I have a lot of grief over many losses in my life, and for me it’s very helpful to have a space with someone where I can feel my sadness and not be alone with it.

And what you say about feeling sorrow for the things you have gone through really resonates with me. My therapist is exceedingly kind, and I think his compassionate response to my suffering allowed me to see what I had gone through from a different perspective. I remember feeling very sorry for myself for awhile, because I have had so many sad things happen - for me it was such an important step in learning to take better care of myself, and not to just check out emotionally.

And I still cry a lot. It really helps me to have a place where I can deal with my sadnesses.

I went through a phase like this as well, Sarah. I hardly ever cried in the first few years of seeing my T, then I went through a phase when I cried a lot, with T and also at home. I think I was going through a time of grieving. I had two bereavements in my close family, but as well as that grieving for other things from the past.

Someone once said to me "Don't be afraid if you cry a lot, those tears are healing", and I think I can look back and say that was definitely true. So although it's a sad phase to go through, I think it might be a good sign as you are grieving over certain things and it's an important stage to go through.

Thanks. I agree with the feeling that when you cry in front of another person, then one isn´t alone with it anymore. My T is also caring and says she's happy I now can cry in therapy.

In a way I though feel that she perhaps thinks I exaggerate or that she thinks it´s ok to cry but my issues aren´t that big really to be cried over. When having cried for several sessions it can also be like it's "neccessary" to cry or else there are no "real" session if you know how I mean?

Thanks. Yes, I agree it´s important to grieve or to express things that are sad. I just don´t want it to be like crying is the main ingredient in sessions and after a while the T gets so used to it, it´s like you didn´t cry if you know what I mean?

I want the crying to really symbolise hard stuff and not be something I turn to more or less every time. It´s a bit like when I didn´t cry at all, then I felt I was too emotionally withheld and now it might be the other way. Perhaps this is just something I imagine to happen but I want my T to know that when I cry it´s not just to for whatever but for something deep, important and difficult that happened to me.

I know what you mean by this. I do cry sometimes in session. But then other times, I'm talking about something I'm really upset about, but don't cry. So I wonder at times if he thinks I'm not upset as I really am. One time, as I was talking, I said that I probably seemed really casual about what I was talking about, smiling and joking around, so it probably didn't seem like it was actually that distressing to me. And he said that's common as a defense mechanism. So I think T's realize that our outward emotions don't always match our inner ones. And sometimes the tears hold off until I'm the car on the way home or later that night.

Not sure if this happens to you, too, but sometimes I don't realize how upset I am about something until I'm talking about it in session and start crying. At times, it seems really random, like I've talked about more intense stuff without crying, then addressing something seemingly minor leads to tears streaming down my face. So that sometimes can make me realize it's something I need to examine more, like "what's going on here?"