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#1
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I do sometimes dislike how I have a child-like dependency with my T even though I’m an adult. Not exactly good for my self-image. But then again, I don’t have many others I can turn to when I’m really struggling...
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![]() DP_2017, MRT6211
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![]() MRT6211
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#2
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Quote:
Wishing you well!
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True happiness comes not when we get rid of all our problems, but when we change our relationship to them, when we see our problems as a potential source of awakening, opportunities to practice patience and learn.~Richard Carlson |
![]() MatBell
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#3
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I've never connected how I feel to self image.
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#4
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I don't have many others to turn to either, most people I talk to are online... OR I never talk to the in person people about deep/emotional things. so I get that
I'm also very independent and hate depending on anyone for anything, it's been a struggle in therapy, because I used to apologize constantly for 'bothering him' with even just 1 small email out of session. I've gotten better with it but I still wont contact/reach out much at all. I refuse to seem like I'm too much or too dependent However, I am very attached and the longing for him is so draining. It's very intense but I usually just try to ignore it. It's very complex relationship for sure. Something I'd never have got into had I researched more beforehand |
![]() Merope
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![]() MatBell, Merope
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#5
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I’m in the same boat. I often feel like a child in interactions with my T, and often when I’m not with her, I long to be. I also have this constant desire for her to hug me or just comfort me with physical touch somehow, like a mother would for her child. But I know the latter will probably never happen.
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![]() MatBell
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#6
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I was thinking about this just last night. I always see myself as a child in relation to my T. And I don't have maternal transference. I don't see her as a mother-figure. I wonder if it's because I feel inferior to her. I tell her all my vulnerable parts, and she doesn't share anything. So she "seems" almost perfect, and I imagine in her eyes I seem like crap. (I know in reality that she doesn't think I'm crap). Or maybe it's the BPD? Since your emotional maturity is behind, maybe it makes you feel behind in age too? I have never felt my actual age. I know partially it's because I locked myself away for 8 years and lived in a fake world. But I just feel like I'm a "new" adult, not 35 years old.
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"Odium became your opium..." ~Epica |
![]() MatBell
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