Searching For Mr. T

So I haven't been in therapy for quite some time and now it's PAINFULLY clear that I need to go back. I can't stress the pain thing enough as I've been having a really tough time of late.

I started looking for a new T (I didn't want to go back to the old one, I want a new perspective) and this process is horrible. It's bad enough if you have your pick of the field but my insurance company only lets me pick from doctors they have contracts with. This means only a small fraction of the local therapists are available to me.

To make matters worse, the insurance company site only lists the T's name and credentials; nothing about their practice. Well, as you all know, T's vary wildly in specialization/focus. I had to go through the list of names and do web based searches for articles, ads, etc. just to find this basic info.

I've found a woman who specializes in my disorders and I have made my initial appointment. Normally I would go in hoping to assess this person and determine if she's a good fit for me but honestly, after the four day ordeal of just finding her, I'm inclined to throw caution to the wind and just jump into it.

So that's my therapist drama at the moment. Now that the appointment is set I can begin fearing it with every fiber of my being.

Cyran0

((Cyran0)),

Welcome! I'm sorry you are in so much pain.

I can understand the feeling of wanting to just jump in after all your meticulous research. I remember feeling exactly that way when I began therapy--not because I researched but because I felt like I was going to explode!

I hope you can set aside some of that fear and get some rest. You might want to begin journaling -- it has helped me to write down my fears, dreams, etc. It may help you to clarify thinking (and ease the pain) while you wait for the first appointment.

Good luck and let us know how it goes!

i know the feeling! by the time i found my T i was so desperate to talk to someone that i just jumped right it and told her the whole story!! but it worked out well, it turned out we were a good fit, so good luck!

I had that same insurance problem. Also I wasn't interested in a behavioral therapist, I was looking for a psychoanalytical therapist. After spending several hours calling the T's on the insurance company's list and finding each was a behaviorist, I called the insurance company and asked if all of their T's were of that orientation. They told me yes. I tried one who said she offered psychodynamic psychotherapy but in reality her preferred treatment was hypnotherapy. That didn't work for me, I wanted to talk.

I decided to go outside the insurance.

I contacted a psychoanalytic instituted (found via Google search) and asked if there was someone who is a candidate who was practicing in my community. They had several names and I that's how I found my T. She has been a therapist for over 20 years and is now a candidate at the Institute learning analysis.

She offered me a discounted rate, then discounted that again when we increased the sessions to every week from every 2 weeks. We'd like to increase them again but my resources are limited.

So I'm suggesting you go outside your insurance. It's a great investment. It's really wonderful that the insurance isn't involved. This is just between T and I and no one sticks their nose in to say how often or how long I can go. It is such freedom!

I hope that your search has resulted in a great T that you'll like very much. If you think you want to look further, you could contact a psychoanalytic institute in the nearest large city to you and see if they could recommend someone.

I'm hope you feel better soon!

Oh, what good work. I'm a little jealous though that you are "limited" in who you can pick; I spent a long time last time, didn't think of my previous T until several months later so toyed with lists in phone books, online, etc. trying to figure out what I would tell a T who had no experience of me. When I finally got to my old T (whom I hadn't seen for 9 years) I literally "swamped" her she said :-) the first session.

I hope this lady works out for you! Or, I hope you're close to a largeish city! I am in a large metro area which also can be a pain as I had to drive a couple hours to/from my T (in another state!).

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Normally I would go in hoping to assess this person and determine if she's a good fit for me but honestly, after the four day ordeal of just finding her, I'm inclined to throw caution to the wind and just jump into it.

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I think you can do both at the same time. Try to get into it quickly, but also use the first sessions as an assessment. I hope this T is a good fit, but if not, you can go back to the list and try again.

Wouldn't it be so useful if the insurance companies had a web page on each mental health provider that gave a description of the person's specialties and therapeutic approach (in their own words)? That would save a lot of detective work for the client and perhaps help make the initial choice a better one. Seems like that would also save the insurance company some money, so the clients don't have to shop around, perhaps having 1 or 2 appointments with 3 different therapists before finding one who can help.

Good luck with your appointment, Cyran0.

Thank you all for the kind and supportive thoughts. It means a lot.

There's a lot of really good suggestions here so thank you for those as well.

It's ironic that when we're at our worst we have to go through this process of finding help. It's so counter intuitive.

I'm hoping I get lucky this first time out but if not, I'll certainly revisit all of your suggestions and decide how to proceed.

It's also kind of ironic that I'm so anxious to start a process that I always fear. Denial, minimization and detachment are my M.O. so going someplace where I have to deal with this stuff head on goes against my nature.

Thanks again, all of you.

Cyran0

Best wishes to you and I hope it turns out to be a great fit.

For another time, if you need or want to browse around: http://tinyurl.com/2s2lpb