[Fuzzybear]

When therapists tried to put me off therapy. I was told I’d made no significant change. I was told that some people are beyond help. I find both of those comments offensive, particularly the latter. I could be dying, and no therapist would want to help me? I find that very sad and very scary

I didn’t mess around in therapy. I was honest but I was brutalised for my honesty. I wish I’d kept my walls up

I was talking about a book, with a picture of a little boy on the cover. The therapist snarled at me and looked bored.
He had encouraged me to bring my young hurt part(s) in, and now this, wtf.
When I challenged him on some of his mean comments, usually in the next session, he said I was taking things out of context.

I don’t know if I could trust a therapist again. It would probably take at least 10
years to start to improve (for want of a better word). And this therapist gave up on me after less than 8 years. His trying to be kind hadn’t created significant change (in his opinion) and his bullying tactics and aggressive changing of boundaries hadn’t created significant change. Not surprising, I didn’t pay to be bullied and have mean words flung at me.

ETA no one in the family of origin cared about me or even saw me.

Maybe my expectations of therapy were and are unreasonable?

[Rohag]

My experience of therapy and therapists is limited.
Talk therapy has profited me little. I know it has been life-saving for some. That is not my experience.

[Fuzzybear]

Originally Posted by Rohag

My experience of therapy and therapists is limited.
Talk therapy has profited me little. I know it has been life-saving for some. That is not my experience.

If the therapist imposes a time limit (as was done with me) they may miss out on witnessing a client/patient growing/changing/profiting from therapy...

And of course, some therapists aren’t equipped to help more complex issues

I was told I made progress in the last year of therapy. Maybe I was more compliant or less resistant (a term that was used). I have no idea as I remember very little of that last year.

I wonder if the therapist(s?) said you had profited little from the therapy, or did that come from you (or both) (no need to reply)


He also harshly criticised my questions and said he felt like it is his analysis ...
That isn’t one of the issues the family of origin repeatedly criticised me about ...
In fact, the family of origin repeatedly called me selfish, while, of course, they didn’t own any selfishness in themselves

[maybeblue]

I would find the comment about being "beyond help" offensive too. I also really doubt it is true. I have a hard time believing that anyone is beyond help. It sounds like this might be more of your therapist's problem than yours.

[Fuzzybear]

Originally Posted by maybeblue

I would find the comment about being "beyond help" offensive too. I also really doubt it is true. I have a hard time believing that anyone is beyond help. It sounds like this might be more of your therapist's problem than yours.

Thank you.. I agree

[Rohag]

Originally Posted by Rohag

Talk therapy has profited me little.

That is my assessment of the therapy I received -- sorry to be unclear. No therapist ever said anything to me such as was said to you, Fuzzybear.

The therapy was of some small value to me, but far from enough to justify the time, effort and resources in my opinion.

I know others have benefited greatly from therapy, and I do not at all intend to disparage their experiences.

[Fuzzybear]

I’m sorry about this. I’m also sorry that you felt/feel like there wasn’t enough value to justify the time, effort and resources, I do wonder how much of that feeling may come from earlier “training” (oops) from the family of origin
(No need to reply)

Similarly, I have no wish to disparage the experiences of those who have been helped by therapy. I know that some people (many people?) have found therapy to be life changing, in very positive ways.

And despite the apparent intention of some professionals (irl) to discourage me, I haven’t completely given up on the idea of therapy.

Originally Posted by Rohag

That is my assessment of the therapy I received -- sorry to be unclear. No therapist ever said anything to me such as was said to you, Fuzzybear.

The therapy was of some small value to me, but far from enough to justify the time, effort and resources in my opinion.

I know others have benefited greatly from therapy, and I do not at all intend to disparage their experiences.

[guilloche]

FuzzyBear, I'm so sorry that your therapist said those things to you. That was really unfair (and unkind) of him. I also believe that nobody is "beyond help" - everybody has room and capacity for some improvement. It's unfortunate, but maybe he just didn't have the skills or capacity to be the one to help you?

I don't know how you can determine this earlier though (rather than after spending 8 years of time and money). I wish there were an easier way. I struggle too, I've tried so many therapists and spent so much time and money, and never managed to find someone who was able to actually understand and help. Still trying though.

*hugs*