Which window

Which window do you look at your therapist through, and which window do you look at others in your life through?

Have you ever considered your therapist as “all good” or “all bad”?

Do you ever “split” random strangers into a “bad object” because you don’t agree with them? Is this splitting so extreme that you’re unable to even believe them?

As for me, I don’t think I do split people black etc, unless they have been very hostile and combative towards me (as, sadly, more than one therapist (irl) has been.. one of them over a long period of time )

I don't know how my T looks at me vs. how I do it myself. I tend to have a pretty negative view of myself, though I know that most people see quite the opposite (as in I might think I have to try very hard to get a job, while most people around me seem to have the impression I'm so smart and hard working that it'd be easy for example).

I don't think my T is all good or all bad. He is one of the only people of whom I know he has flaws and I still accept him and think he's a decent person.

However, in the rest of my life I very much split people into good and bad. Splitting is one of the symptoms lots of people with my issue (bpd) have, so it's not surprising. I discuss it in therapy quite frequently and we try to get me to a point where I can see and feel that people can be grey instead of just black or white.

Thanks, yes I think I used to (maybe) split people into black or white more than I do now.

There was some idealisation of T1, I suppose, early in the therapy. But it wasn’t my imagination how he harmed me with so many mean words. I don’t understand the point of it. And I blame myself for not leaving the first time he was so negative and unhelpful. It was almost like gaslighting what he did.. maybe it was

Madame T was always trying to inject some grey. I didn't want any.

I think I'm pretty good at not seeing people in black and white most of the time. The exception to that is me. I either see myself as good or bad. There's no in between.

I do sometimes "forget" that therapy is helpful sometimes after a particularly bad session. A lot of the time I blame myself for those.

I sometimes struggle with not seeing people in black or white. But over the years I've learned not to act on it. And if it's with my T, I tell her and we talk through our problems until it's resolved.