So much crying isn´t normal if it was "outside therapy"

SarahSweden · Jun 18, 2018, 09:36 AM

Thanks. Yes, part of the crying could be related to depression and much of it I think depends on that once I've now begun to cry, it feels more natural even if spending many minutes on crying each session makes me feel it´s not normal.

Perhaps my T also cried a lot when she saw her T, I know she has gone through difficult times, but it´s nothing that I can know for sure. I don´t think one can stop the crying, perhaps getting to know what my T thinks about it.

Quote:

Originally Posted by yellow_fleurs

Just chiming in that I would also say if you are depressed, you are probably feeling extra sad and like crying more than you would if not depressed, and if you suppress it often then it doesn't surprise me that you would cry a lot in T. When I think of the same things from my life that make me sad, I can feel moderately sad or hysterical/sobbing depending on my mood state, for example. It still upsets me either way, but my view of the situation, myself, etc is much darker when I am depressed. I do think crying is healthy, too, but you could always discuss with your T if you feel it is getting in the way of making progress because you spend too much time doing it in your opinion. I am not sure what could be done, but either way there is no reason to feel bad about crying!

musinglizzy · Jun 18, 2018, 11:24 AM

I ONLY cry in therapy. I really put on a bit of an act in life, and never cry outside of the therapy room. Well, rarely. But in therapy, I'll just bawl sometimes, and I don't feel like a child because I'm doing it. In fact, I think my therapist tries to get me to cry by saying certain things or bringing certain topics up. She wants me to cry, to let it all out. She said even a session where I curl up in a ball under a blanket and cry for the whole session is useful. Sometimes coming to a session is useful just to get me away from the house. Because I'm quite a homebody, and don't much like going out. When I do, I distract myself with books from Audible, to block out others in a store or wherever. I pretty much keep to myself these days.....a lot has happened in the past month, and I'm pretty stuck inside my head.

velcro003 · Jun 18, 2018, 12:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SarahSweden

Thanks. For how long have you seen your T? It´s just recently I began to cry, for several months I never cried and I felt we sometimes discussed more about the therapeutic process than emotional things. Would you like to cry in therapy or do you feel embarrassed about it?

I don´t think having no experiences from intimate relations or sex has only to do with depression, when in midst of depression you don´t feel like looking for a partner but if one doesn´t have a chronic depression there are more to it than that. What does your T say to you about intimacy, does she give you advice or do you work more on an emotional level?

I think it´s very embarrassing to talk about sex and lack of such experiences as my T is married and she´s more than ten years older than me and of course she has rather a lot experiences from it herself. At the same time you doesn´t talk to a T and ask her about her (his) own experiences.

I think it can be healthy to cry and it also seems that several people cry from a lot of reasons in therapy.

i have been seeing my T for 3 years. I saw my last T for over 5 and never cried, and even saw her the day after my grandfather died. I am not a crier in general.

I do have chronic depression, so i know that is part of it. I also am avoidant in the attachment arena, and also have confusion on my sexuality-which i avoid talking about. So there is definitely more to it.

I find the subject of sex embarrassing to talk about in general, but my T makes it as easy as possible (the one or two times we’ve discussed sex and sexuality), and it doesn’t bother me that she’s married w kids.

LonesomeTonight · Jun 18, 2018, 01:26 PM

I cried quite a bit in session today. I think it helped to get it all out and may have unlocked some of what I was feeling. Like, I started crying when a certain topic with ex-T came up, and it was like, "Oh...maybe this is what I'm worried about with current T..." Having such a physical emotional reaction to it helped me connect to it more, if that makes sense. And I guess also demonstrated to T how upset I was, which seemed to trigger more compassionate reactions from him.

mcl6136 · Jun 18, 2018, 03:39 PM

I'm working hard these days to remind myself that this whole idea of having some fabulous love relationship might be a conspiracy created by Hallmark cards, television advertisers and high fashion outlets.

In all seriousness, I think there are plenty of people here who can relate to your very honest original post.

Do you feel a bit better today?

stopdog · Jun 18, 2018, 03:47 PM

I never cried at a therapy appointment. I do not cry much in general and I never had any reason to cry near one of those guys.

wanttolivebetter · Jun 18, 2018, 04:02 PM

Once I leave a therapist, I tend to put off seeking another one until things get really bad and I'm on the verge of a breakdown, so I tend to burst into tears the moment I open my mouth at my first and maybe second session. Then after that, I rarely, if ever, cry in front of that therapist again, and they're probably wondering what the heck happened to that emotional version of me. Have had similar experiences with doctors when seeking treatment for ongoing medical issues that interfere a great deal with my life. Sometimes I wish I could cry more, and sometimes I'm embarrassed that I ever cried in front of my therapist at all. I can never make up my mind haha. I will say I've had periods in my life when I couldn't cry at all and periods when I would cry multiple times per day, and I must prefer the latter. Needing to cry but not being able to is a truly torturous feeling.

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So much crying isn´t normal if it was "outside therapy"

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