Couch 171: Scams R Us

CantExplain · Jul 17, 2018, 06:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by awkwardlyyours

If Blondie is the norm (and I think she is), therapists have a pretty solid compartmentalization thing going on.

Jul 17, 2018, 06:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by CantExplain

There will always be loose ends. Sometimes you just have to cut them off. (Or tie them to someone else.)

Well I am. After I get my pictures.

Jul 17, 2018, 06:45 PM

I never shared my therapy with my H. He knew I went but I never shared about the sessions with him because I felt like it was mine. Just for me. I would only share if something came up in therapy about him-which was rare. And he usually responded accordingly. Normally he didn’t complain about the money aspect because it was coming out my pocket and not our joint funds.
Art, your H is or was just using money as an excuse to complain about deeper issues. He seems very jelious of the relationship with the therapist but he does not get to have the best of both worlds where it’s like don’t lean on me but don’t go to therapy either.

I don’t disagree with your H on all his points, either though. However someone who has never been in therapy will not understand all the stuff that could come up with going.

awkwardlyyours · Jul 17, 2018, 06:54 PM

I wonder if the real fear is that the feelings of the partner in therapy will change (and not for the better) towards the spouse (who is not in therapy)?

That's pretty powerful.

I think people have a sense of when they think the relationship is not as great / healthy as it could be. And, so when one partner goes to therapy, I wonder if the other feels that now it's just a question of time before the spouse is found to be inadequate and kinda left aside?

stopdog · Jul 17, 2018, 07:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by feralkittymom

You get to control your life--but that also means you alone have responsibility for your life.

It seems to me that you each spend so much energy shifting your individual responsibility for your individual lives to the other, neither of you are owning your own lives. Which also means neither of you have much to offer the other. And neither of you sound very satisfied with that.

I completely agree with this.

Quote:

Originally Posted by atisketatasket

Oh oh oh!

It’s World Emoji Day!

Oh good lord.

Jul 17, 2018, 08:20 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by awkwardlyyours

I wonder if the real fear is that the feelings of the partner in therapy will change (and not for the better) towards the spouse (who is not in therapy)?

That's pretty powerful.

I think people have a sense of when they think the relationship is not as great / healthy as it could be. And, so when one partner goes to therapy, I wonder if the other feels that now it's just a question of time before the spouse is found to be inadequate and kinda left aside?

More to think on. Thank you!!

CantExplain · Jul 17, 2018, 08:27 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by awkwardlyyours

I wonder if the real fear is that the feelings of the partner in therapy will change (and not for the better) towards the spouse (who is not in therapy)?

That's pretty powerful.

I think people have a sense of when they think the relationship is not as great / healthy as it could be. And, so when one partner goes to therapy, I wonder if the other feels that now it's just a question of time before the spouse is found to be inadequate and kinda left aside?

It can be a problem if one partner grows and the other doesn't.
"You either grow together or you grow apart."

fille_folle · Jul 17, 2018, 09:03 PM