[Cantfindthewords]

I’ve just written my “I quit” email. My finger is hovering over the send button...I should probably sleep on it shouldn’t I?

[Lemoncake]

I sent my T a " I quit email". I wrote the original email in the afternoon but sent it around 6 hours later at 12pm. It gives you space to make alterations, but there's nothing wrong with sending a follow up " i'm sorry about the previous email- please ignore " if you change your mind.

[DP_2017]

I'm sorry for everyone on here struggling right now Sending you my best... thankfully T was back this week so I feel better now... but it was tough for 2 weeks. Hang in there

[Cantfindthewords]

Originally Posted by Lemoncake

I sent my T a " I quit email". I wrote the original email in the afternoon but sent it around 6 hours later at 12pm. It gives you space to make alterations, but there's nothing wrong with sending a follow up " i'm sorry about the previous email- please ignore " if you change your mind.

Did your T reply? I’m not sure what to do. It feels like a cry for help.

[Lemoncake]

Originally Posted by Cantfindthewords

Did your T reply? I’m not sure what to do. It feels like a cry for help.

No but that's just because he's being stupid, and it was mainly in response to him not replying to my first email 4 days earlier. I don't see the point of telling a client to please contact you if things get bad only to then forget that you said it all together and not be available . It would have been better if he said don't contact me at all, rather than pretend that he's here for me when he's not.He's gone for 32 days too so a significant amount of time. I think i'm halfway now but i've stopped counting the days until he comes back.

If you need help there's nothing wrong with asking for it. "Help will always be given at Hogwarts to those who ask it"

[lucozader]

Day two. It's been a really lovely morning, I went out with friends. I've hardly thought of T at all.

I'm so tired though, which probably means my head will be all over the place later.

Time for a nap.

[pepper_mint]

I almost finished my 32-day break.
It was strange...
From the first day, I was like "I want my T! I want a session! Why do we have a break it's unfair". I felt bad for two weeks and I thought about T very often.
Then, the last 2 weeks was completely different. I didn't care anymore if we have a session in a few days or in two weeks. I don't really miss my T anymore. I didn't think often about the therapy.

Now I just feel detached :-/ I'm afraid to meet T next week because it feels strange for me now. I think this break was really long and I just lost the connection we had I'm afraid I won't be able to talk to her as usual.

[lucozader]

Day three. Bored, tired, melancholy.

Kind of cheered me up to calculate that I'm already 15.98% through the T-break though...

[Lemoncake]

56.25%= 18 days

It feels like a lifetime ago.

It's nice to see you around Luc.

[Cantfindthewords]

So I re-evaluated the “I quit” email. I looked back through all our previous email conversations and realised she is bloody awesome and so there for me.
Yes this is hard, yes this is painful, but not having her in my life would be even harder

Day 13/20.

[Lemoncake]

Originally Posted by Cantfindthewords

So I re-evaluated the “I quit” email. I looked back through all our previous email conversations and realised she is bloody awesome and so there for me.
Yes this is hard, yes this is painful, but not having her in my life would be even harder

Day 13/20.

Well done for doing what's best for you!

[BonnieJean]

I'm indifferent about t's return and about seeing her tomorrow. After the first few days she was away I forgot all about her and did fine.

[lucozader]

Day four (21.4%!)

I'm okay. Of course I am, it hasn't even been a week yet...

Still annoyed about some of the stupid things I said and wish I could take them back. Oh well.

[LostOnTheTrail]

Six weeks tomorrow since I last heard from her, and five weeks on Thursday since the message from the colleague. Suppressing panic doesn't necessarily mean that I am coping.

[lucozader]

Originally Posted by LostOnTheTrail

Six weeks tomorrow since I last heard from her, and five weeks on Thursday since the message from the colleague. Suppressing panic doesn't necessarily mean that I am coping.

S**t, that's terrible Lost!

[Cantfindthewords]

I emailed her this morning and said I thought about quiting but I didn’t. She emailed me back pretty much immediately to acknowledge and said she would reply properly later. Still nothing, which is entirely reasonable but I’m feeling stupidly jealous of her family spending time with her. I feel so ****ed up.

[winterblues17]

Breaks just make me feel more worthless than I already do!

[pepper_mint]

I have a session today after a 1-month break.
I don't want to go there and I don't want to talk about anything!!!
It seems I've developed really strong resistance during this time.

I see her in two days then she's away for 5 whole weeks

[Lemoncake]

Originally Posted by QuietMind

I see her in two days then she's away for 5 whole weeks

Oh that is a long break.

[Lemoncake]

Originally Posted by pepper_mint

I have a session today after a 1-month break.
I don't want to go there and I don't want to talk about anything!!!
It seems I've developed really strong resistance during this time.

I hope it goes well.

Originally Posted by Lemoncake

Oh that is a long break.

It is I know PC folks understand the attachment ache. What scares me is she'll be abroad and while she's made plenty of shorter trips (1 week, 2 weeks), this one is so long...

I always worry when she's abroad though I know air travel is safe, and I'm worried because this is like her 5th trip this year and is she burning out?

[Lemoncake]

Originally Posted by QuietMind

It is I know PC folks understand the attachment ache. What scares me is she'll be abroad and while she's made plenty of shorter trips (1 week, 2 weeks), this one is so long...

I always worry when she's abroad though I know air travel is safe, and I'm worried because this is like her 5th trip this year and is she burning out?

I know you don't normally have email contact, but is she putting anything to help you whilst you're away?

Originally Posted by Lemoncake

I know you don't normally have email contact, but is she putting anything to help you whilst you're away?

Nope, nothing. I can email her but we agreed she wouldn't reply to email when I'm still in therapy. And after we've ended, she'll reply sometimes eventually on her own timing.

I can still message her, but as usual, no replies. I think this is the longest I've gone without being able to call the clinic to speak with her as this is the longest she's gone abroad.

I know I'll be okay in the sense that I've never ever been so unwell that I needed inpatient (there's no inbetween from outpatient to inpatient. No IOP, PHP, no crisis houses etc), but you know...attachment. She probably thinks I'll be fine. Which I'll be in terms of functioning and continuing to keep up with work, but it's still going to be hard.

[Lemoncake]

Originally Posted by QuietMind

Nope, nothing. I can email her but we agreed she wouldn't reply to email when I'm still in therapy. And after we've ended, she'll reply sometimes eventually on her own timing.

I can still message her, but as usual, no replies. I think this is the longest I've gone without being able to call the clinic to speak with her as this is the longest she's gone abroad.

I know I'll be okay in the sense that I've never ever been so unwell that I needed inpatient (there's no inbetween from outpatient to inpatient. No IOP, PHP, no crisis houses etc), but you know...attachment. She probably thinks I'll be fine. Which I'll be in terms of functioning and continuing to keep up with work, but it's still going to be hard.

Oh QM I'm sorry that sounds so tough and I wish I had something helpful to say. How often are you sessions spaced out now? Could you see a back up T?